Long-Distance Relationships... Watch

Beckieee
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#1
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#1
Right, so i'm kind of going ut with this guy (sorry to everyone in the 'single' soc with me :p:) and i really like him and things, and we've only met a few times but we get along great and text all the time and things. BUT now he's moving to a uni, over 100 miles away he says we should see how things go, is this the best way? Even though he dosn't seem the type to cheat i've heard what uni's can be like :rolleyes: and plus do you think he will get bored only seeing me a couple times a month?
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samba
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unlikely that it'll work unfortunately.

My flat at uni started with 4 of us in a relationship, 1 not. Ended the year with all of us single (except the guy who wasnt - he'd got with a girl next door)
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dh00001
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if youre willing to try it then try it. it can be done.
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Rachie89
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I'm in a long distance relationship, although neither of us are at uni (i hopefully will be next year) and we only get to see each other 5 times a year (or there abouts) it can work, you just need to put work into it.
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rawkingpunkster
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I think that prior to a long distance relationship, the couple needs to have gone out for a while now, to get to know each other really well and all. Helps with trust issues in the future.
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Angelil
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Use the search button fgs.

I'm in an LDR. Three years, 2 separate countries. We see each other every 6 weeks.
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Beckieee
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Yeah, i know what you mean. Well i'm determined to work if he will too, but he's the one leaving. I don't know - we'll have to discuss it more i guess. It's just unlucky that we didnt meet at the start of summer..
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khil
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If he gets bored that easily, then he'll likely cheat on you anyway and would've been a jerk who's a waste of time

Anyway, long distance can work if you're both committed, but I don't think long distance is for everyone. Some can cope with it, others can't, but whichever type you are, if you want it to work enough, you'll give it a shot and not give up so easily My sister and her bf have lasted 10 months by this point and he's been working 24-7 in Wales while my sister was doing her MA in Scotland and she's only recently graduated. So you see, it can work. Good luck :hugs:
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Rock Fan
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Well it can work if you both put the effort in, if he is going to cheat, he would anyway regardless of whether he is going to uni or not, but if he values the relationship then he won't cheat.
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herbal bug
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Just give it ago- you'll only regret if you don't It is possible.
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KitKat88
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hi I only knew my bf 2 weeks before he went 2 uni and now been 2gether over a year. Give it a try whats the harm if it works all is gd if not move on. But most of my mates r in the same boat with the long distance thing since startin uni and all have nearly been 2gether a year. Trust and the effort u both put in can either make or break a relationship. Good luck.
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Beckieee
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#12
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thanks for all the replies
well hopefully we'll last i'll be commited if he is too, plus the times he see each other will be special then i guess
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stepheh
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Hopefully he would have enough sense to end your relationship if he could feel himself start to drift.

it all depends on the relationship - loads dont work, but then some do.

even if you lived in the same place, you could still break up. You know/

I wouldn't worry about it [= just enjoy things now!
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Zenobia
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I live in the Netherlands and my boyfriend lives in Sweden. That's one hell of a distance. We've been 'together' for 2.5 years though.

But I won't recommend it. Starting with the practical: it's extremely expensive. In my case anyway, since it requires flying.
And more importantly. IT HURTS. It's beyond painful to long for someone constantly and not be able to be together no matter what crazy schemes you make up. I -have- to finish two more years of highschool here and after that I'm applying to Uni in the UK. It's terrible to know we can't be together for so, so many more years.

If you can still get out of it, do. I wish I'd never gotten myself into this... yet we love each other so much it's impossible to think of breaking up.
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DirtyHarry
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Some people can make it work but I wouldn't consider it a real relationship personally.
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playingcards
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(Original post by Zenobia)
I live in the Netherlands and my boyfriend lives in Sweden. That's one hell of a distance. We've been 'together' for 2.5 years though.

But I won't recommend it. Starting with the practical: it's extremely expensive. In my case anyway, since it requires flying.
And more importantly. IT HURTS. It's beyond painful to long for someone constantly and not be able to be together no matter what crazy schemes you make up. I -have- to finish two more years of highschool here and after that I'm applying to Uni in the UK. It's terrible to know we can't be together for so, so many more years.

If you can still get out of it, do. I wish I'd never gotten myself into this... yet we love each other so much it's impossible to think of breaking up.
A similar situation for me too - England to Germany - I almost envy the LDRs just based in the UK. At least occasional weekends are practical and worthwhile; and a couple of times a month would suggest this is what you'll be doing. So obviously keep in touch as much as humanly possibly otherwise... by phone, text and IM... and arrange holidays together. I'm meeting up halfway in Amsterdam at half term, but then it could be a six month wait until the next time, so treasure those moments of undivided attention. It can work and last, it just requires lots of effort. You need to ask yourself whether you're into him enough to make carrying on worth it.
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EvilSheep
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Good luck if you decide to go for it I'm in a LDR, different countries and all, and it's hard, but worth it..
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King Hippo
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#18
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Give this a bash if you decide to go for it:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/c...distance.shtml

I know it seems like hard work, but I'm of the opinion that if it feels like it might be right, you should ride the storm and eventually it'll come good in the end. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I reckon if you manage to survive the distance, when you finally end up near each other again you'll be stronger than ever.

Good luck if you give it a go. :hugs:
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Tufts
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Why don't you just find someone closer to home? You're not deeply in this relationship. Now would be the time to bail and find someone you can see every night if you wish You can phone them on a whim and say "fancy the cinema tonight?" or "I feel upset, will you come over? I need a cuddle?"
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King Hippo
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(Original post by Tufts)
Why don't you just find someone closer to home? You're not deeply in this relationship. Now would be the time to bail and find someone you can see every night if you wish You can phone them on a whim and say "fancy the cinema tonight?" or "I feel upset, will you come over? I need a cuddle?"
But they'll be seeing each other a few times a month, it seems.

It's not ideal, of course, but if two people are meant to be together at least it works as something of a placeholder until they're able to live closer.
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