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im 23 she's 16

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Chicken.M.

Umm, no. That's not how the law sees things (baring in mind you've been speaking since she was 14/15 when you were 21). That in itself is creepy. You aren't thinking about how her family will perceive this - they'll probably think you're a creep and stop her from being with you anyway. Wait til she's 18. If she's that special then you won't mind waiting, but it's still odd.

16 is legal

Reply 21

r.murphy

I don't usually get involved in forums like this, but you really have to ask yourself - assuming that she 'likes you', does she really? I'm 18 and believe me, the thrill and excitement of a relationship (or potential relationship) can be quite attractive yet overwhelming and cause both of you to make bad decisions you will regret in the long run, even if it is legally sound. It may be true love, but consider her situation, if it doesn't work out how will she react or respond? You have to think of these things.

Reply 22

bones-mccoy

Original post by Judge Jules

Just ask her out so she knows your interested, if you don't another older man will then you would have lost your chance
You can still date her but you don't have to have sex, you can wait til she's 17 for that but that's really up to her plus 23 isn't old, she's just winding you up about that
Some Men who are 30 and 40 date 16 year old's so just tell her that if she says you're old
Don't worry about the age gap, it's not that big and it's not a shock

Type Onision on You Tube. This is a man who was dating or married his 16 year old girlfriend when he was 26 i think. I can't remember his exact age when he did but he gets some abuse for that and other things online.
He does lots of videos especially about his relationships and his wife.
I just laugh about it all rather than get upset like other people because It has nothing to do with me. You should date whoever you want and not let other people make you feel bad about it.

And these men are disgusting

Reply 23

bones-mccoy

Original post by klosp001

some of you are are say wait till shes 18, to me she's worth the wait.

my parents are 11 years apart so for me and her to be only 7 doesn't sound to bad. plus i only see age as a number it shouldnt matter if we feel the same about each other right.

thanks for your replies.

It's not the age gap that's the problem, it's the age she's at now

Reply 24

Socrates2017

OP there's nothing wrong. she's at the age of consent.
people here who are telling you off are like people who used to tell gay people off for *their* image of romance.
what is "too young" for them might not be too young or too old for others.
so people really have no place outside of hypocrisy to tell you what to do here.
there are people who have ****ing babies at an age I'd say was too young but who cares? it's their life.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 25

Yaboi

No one cares just bang her

Reply 26

Socrates2017

Original post by r.murphy

wow, what a sexist thing to say about this girl :lol:

you wouldn't be saying this about love between two 16 years olds, so why 16 and 23? because you think girls are fickle and naive, don't you.

Reply 27

Tiger Rag

Original post by Socrates2017

wow, what a sexist thing to say about this girl :lol:

you wouldn't be saying this about love between two 16 years olds, so why 16 and 23? because you think girls are fickle and naive, don't you.

Two 16 year olds and 16 and 23 is different. For a start, two 16 year olds are still at school. A 23 year old isn't. The 23 year old will be at a very different stage in life.

Reply 28

Socrates2017

Original post by Tiger Rag

Two 16 year olds and 16 and 23 is different. For a start, two 16 year olds are still at school. A 23 year old isn't. The 23 year old will be at a very different stage in life.

so what's your point? if they didn't have much in common, why is it that they're still a couple? obviously there's *some* chemistry involved, and I think it's crazy to just write them off as being incompatbile just because you don't know what they think about each other. also, I really don't see how it's *that* different (the difference between 16-16 and 16-23)

Reply 29

Socrates2017

Original post by bones-mccoy

And these men are disgusting

not that I'd ever go out with a 16 year old at that age but why is it "disgusting"? and why is it only the *men* that are disgusting? why not the 16 year old girls? sounds really sexist. it's always the men's fault, huh? 16 years old is responsible enough to know what one is doing, so you can't say it's a matter of responsibility. unless you're going to imply that 16 year old girls are morons that need to be acted for.

Reply 30

Tiger Rag

Original post by Socrates2017

So, you were at the same at 16 and 23? I know I wasn't.

Reply 31

Socrates2017

Original post by Tiger Rag

So, you were at the same at 16 and 23? I know I wasn't.

what do you mean I was "at the same"? I'm assuming that was a typo

Reply 32

the bear

it is a large age gap; in some cultures this is quite normal. perhaps you could ask your parents what they think.

Reply 33

Drez999

I wasn't going to comment on this but, hey ho, here's my two-penneth (and it's all I'm gonna say)....

When I was 23, a few years, no way would I have even considered going out with a 16 year old girl or guy.

Reply 34

UWS

Original post by Socrates2017

No one is saying they are incompatible or that it won't work and clearly there is some chemistry as you said. @Tiger Rag is saying that they are at different stages of their lives right now, this conflict has shown to cause discomfort in some couples (uni and work for example). 23 is a big difference to 16, one would be working full time, the other will be studying for their GCSEs, two complete lifestyles that may not fit within each other's schedules. We don't know OP or the girl, we don't know what the girl is after but the clue is in the age. At 16, one is more likely to be less experienced and more immature. Even the OP says she's going to end things with her boyfriend and switch straight to him?!

Reply 35

ANM775

Original post by bones-mccoy

And these men are disgusting

What about the girls?
why does no one blame the girls and auto assume the guy is some kind of fiendish predator.

A few days ago I was walking to the supermarket, I saw some girls at the corner. The age range of these girls looked 13 - 15 imo, ...as I walked past one of the girls went to me "Hello Darling.."
I just sort of gave a polite smile and kept walking.

There's been other incidents in the past as well.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 36

1000and1nights

I was in this situation when I was 15/16, with a guy seven years older. He was a great friend and we got on so so well yet he wanted something more. The whole situation was just problematic. I feel like he was incredibly immature for his age (partly probably why we got on so well), and had I been slightly more naive I do think something potentially could have happened between us. I'm glad it didn't.

I just always felt uncomfortable about the situation. We were at different stages in our lives. Not to mention he was manipulative and childish. When I got my first boyfriend (same age as me) this other older guy tried pretty hard to f that up, and to try and poison me against my boyfriend. Ultimately I had to cut the older guy out of my life completely, after several incidents which I'd rather not go in to but where slightly stalker-ish in nature.

Anyway, obviously this was just my experience and nothing like your situation. However I can relate in terms of the age gap, and whilst I don't think it's THAT much of an issue later on in life, I do think teenage years are crucial in terms of having the chance to grow up and experience things and make mistakes. Something which could be difficult to deal with if you're seven years older and have already been through most of that (and on top of that experiencing things you only really start to experience in your twenties). It's your choice, but I do think it would be best to steer clear. It will be hard at first but the easiest way would be to cut contact, and focus on girls your own age.

Reply 37

Socrates2017

Original post by UWS

23 is a big difference to 16, one would be working full time, the other will be studying for their GCSEs, two complete lifestyles that may not fit within each other's schedules. We don't know OP or the girl, we don't know what the girl is after but the clue is in the age. At 16, one is more likely to be less experienced and more immature.

what's your point to all this? are you making a normative argument that they shouldn't be allowed to see each other because of their ages? that seems very anti-utilitarian. surely if they were too incompatible based on "the different stages of their lives", then they wouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. I'm not saying that people aged 23 ought to go out with 16 year olds, I am merely saying that specifically opposing it, or calling it "disgusting", is petty and control-freakish behaviour. live and let live.

Reply 38

Ahsnvdgnsenl

Go for it dude,
I just turned 17 and if I really loved/liked someone who was a couple years older than me,I would just do it, in my opinion age doesn't really matter as long as you like her alot.

But then again she is 16... maybe you should wait like a year or two,

Reply 39

UWS

Original post by Socrates2017

It's not "disgusting" and it works differently. My argument has nothing to do with not allowing people to date because of their ages, I'm pointing out that at the ages of 16 and 23, there are completely different things going on at that stage of life. In OP's case they aren't in a relationship, they are even doubting it because of the age, this is not my words but OP's words himself. I'm not saying "don't go for it", I'm saying these relationships aren't for everyone as even you said you wouldn't date a 16 year old at that age.

The "different stages of their lives" is a significant thing and I'm surprised you're brushing it off so easily. I've nowhere said they are incompatible because of this, this is you putting words into my mouth. It's just common sense really that they have different lifestyles, they may be after different things at their respective ages. It's down to the people involved to decide how it makes it work. That is all.