How to rebel against my strict parents?

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alienvoid
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Im fully aware of how naïve i sound being a massive stereotype but my parents (mostly my mum) have been very strict all my life. i'm 14 and people in my year at school are starting to have house parties, drink a bit, etc. My parents wont let me do anything like that, and i'm looking for ways i can start to do interesting, rebellious things without them finding out.
My mum is very traditional and says i can't drink until i'm 18. I get most parents say stuff like this but as soon as i brought it up calmly about drinking she started shouting at me for even considering it and threatening me if i did drink. My dad has no say in the matter, he doesnt really care if i drink, but my mum basically tells him what to do, so he has no input. The majority of my friends and kids in year 10 have already got drunk a few times, and i dont want to be inexperienced and get laughed at for being a lightweight if/when i ever do get drunk. Sounds like peer pressure but i genuinely want to try drinking Because of the socialising benefits & i thibk it would b interesting.
Next on the list: my mum wont let me shave my legs/armpits etc, and im really hairy. I cant wear dresses and get teased. She says im being pressured into wanting to shave , goes on about sexism, etc. Im a feminist myself and i think its okay to shave but she shouts at me if i ask about it . i resorted to stealing her own wax strips and hiding them in my room.
Lastly shes jewish and quite religious, so wont let me go out on a friday night becuse its Sabbath. personally i'm an atheist despite the fact shes forced religion on me all my life . not being able to go out on fridays has impacted my life on a lot of occasions and i hate having to make excuses at school, i just want to do my own thing.
These are only a few examples, i could go on and on about how strict my mum is but anyway, the point is i'm looking for ways to coerce her into letting me be more independent, or i need a way to rebel in secret so i dont grow up having never experienced fun or socialising properly. Ive lived an overly sheltered life for 14 years and i'm sick of it , i want to have fun .

Again i know i sound like a big joke , sorry.

If anyone can help, give me tips, it would make my day!
alienvoid xxx
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alienvoid
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Can someone reply seriously
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999tigger
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(Original post by alienvoid)
Im fully aware of how naïve i sound being a massive stereotype but my parents (mostly my mum) have been very strict all my life. i'm 14 and people in my year at school are starting to have house parties, drink a bit, etc. My parents wont let me do anything like that, and i'm looking for ways i can start to do interesting, rebellious things without them finding out.
My mum is very traditional and says i can't drink until i'm 18. I get most parents say stuff like this but as soon as i brought it up calmly about drinking she started shouting at me for even considering it and threatening me if i did drink. My dad has no say in the matter, he doesnt really care if i drink, but my mum basically tells him what to do, so he has no input. The majority of my friends and kids in year 10 have already got drunk a few times, and i dont want to be inexperienced and get laughed at for being a lightweight if/when i ever do get drunk. Sounds like peer pressure but i genuinely want to try drinking Because of the socialising benefits & i thibk it would b interesting.
Next on the list: my mum wont let me shave my legs/armpits etc, and im really hairy. I cant wear dresses and get teased. She says im being pressured into wanting to shave , goes on about sexism, etc. Im a feminist myself and i think its okay to shave but she shouts at me if i ask about it . i resorted to stealing her own wax strips and hiding them in my room.
Lastly shes jewish and quite religious, so wont let me go out on a friday night becuse its Sabbath. personally i'm an atheist despite the fact shes forced religion on me all my life . not being able to go out on fridays has impacted my life on a lot of occasions and i hate having to make excuses at school, i just want to do my own thing.
These are only a few examples, i could go on and on about how strict my mum is but anyway, the point is i'm looking for ways to coerce her into letting me be more independent, or i need a way to rebel in secret so i dont grow up having never experienced fun or socialising properly. Ive lived an overly sheltered life for 14 years and i'm sick of it , i want to have fun .

Again i know i sound like a big joke , sorry.

If anyone can help, give me tips, it would make my day!
alienvoid xxx
All teenagers get rebellious its part of growing up and establishing yourself.Tbh I think rebellion is a bit overrated and imo you should get smart as rebellion wont get you the things you want and will take a lot of energy.

I prefer the tactic of minimal co operation as you are dependent on your parents for food and shelter. having rows with your mum is an area you will lose as you are a child and she is the adult.

When you are 16 then you can move out on your own, they cant stop you.

The smarter way is to do well in your exams and then go to Uni where you will have way more freedom and if need be you need never go back or only see her through the holidays. After that you can get a job and your own place.

In the meantime get involved in clubs and social activities DoE after school etc and there you can interact with people and be out of her influence. I cant guarantee it but the more of a model pupil you are then the less concerned she will be about control and she might loosen up if you do well.

I dont think getting drunk is a big deal, especially not at 14. I met many people at Uni who had not drunk at all, so it isnt a prerequisite and it isnt the key to happiness. plenty of time to drink yourself to a standstill later on in life.

I just dont see rebellion being a fruitful strategy, but good luck.

Dont forget tattoos are permanent.
If you get a criminal record hen that can hamper you in later life including uni.
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Do similar to what I did:

Take up a hobby, (in my case, photography and filmmaking, although the filmmaking is currently proving to be problematic, thanks North Lindsey College. ).

Get a gym membership somewhere and join a sports activity club such as a local football team.

Attend a once a week social club.
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prazzyjazzy
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I find that not rebelling against the people I rely on to fund my education and put a roof over my head is usually a good idea. I can do all that stuff when I move out, but at 14 shouldn't you be focusing on other things?

Drinking: You really don't need to be getting white-girl-wasted at that age..
Shaving: I see no harm in shaving, but I also see no harm in not shaving. If it's something that makes you comfortable just be discreet enough that she doesn't find out.
Atheism: Lots of undercover atheists here with religious parents. Again, you still rely on your parents. I'd just fake it till I make it, and then "come out" when I'm self sufficient.
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username2459871
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(Original post by alienvoid)
Can someone reply seriously

(Original post by 999tigger)
All teenagers get rebellious its part of growing up and establishing yourself.Tbh I think rebellion is a bit overrated and imo you should get smart as rebellion wont get you the things you want and will take a lot of energy.

I prefer the tactic of minimal co operation as you are dependent on your parents for food and shelter. having rows with your mum is an area you will lose as you are a child and she is the adult.

When you are 16 then you can move out on your own, they cant stop you.

The smarter way is to do well in your exams and then go to Uni where you will have way more freedom and if need be you need never go back or only see her through the holidays. After that you can get a job and your own place.

In the meantime get involved in clubs and social activities DoE after school etc and there you can interact with people and be out of her influence. I cant guarantee it but the more of a model pupil you are then the less concerned she will be about control and she might loosen up if you do well.

I dont think getting drunk is a big deal, especially not at 14. I met many people at Uni who had not drunk at all, so it isnt a prerequisite and it isnt the key to happiness. plenty of time to drink yourself to a standstill later on in life.

I just dont see rebellion being a fruitful strategy, but good luck.

Dont forget tattoos are permanent.
If you get a criminal record hen that can hamper you in later life including uni.

The above advice is excellent.

OP, I went through a very similar situation when I was your age. My parents were even more controlling than what yours seem like (from what you've told us anyway). Keep trying to reason with your parents, but don't lose your temper. For topics such as body hair etc, it is your body so I personally believe you should shave if you want to shave and let your mum deal with it - she can't force you to unshave. Explain to her that people tease you and it's getting you down, if you haven't explained already.

In regards to drinking, just save it until you go to uni. Don't bother being rebellious, it's not worth the stress at this time in your life. Just respect your parents religious wishes, even if you don't agree with them - and that way you can build trust between you and your parents, and they'll be more likely to be lenient and forgiving of you in the future. I didn't have my first night out until I went to uni, and although yes, I was a little behind when it came to knowing about nights out etc, you quickly learn how to handle it and the novelty wears off quickly. Alcohol is very overrated, and tbh there's a reason why you have to be 18 to purchase it.

I understand how frustrated and isolated you must feel right now due to your parents controlling you. But honestly, the next few years will go by SO quickly, and before you know it, you'll have moved out and you'll be free to do whatever you like with your body and your time

If you need any more advice please feel free to PM me. :console:
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ILoveExo
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Do your parent/s love you? I'm sure they have your best interests at heart!

Don't drink, because you get used to it and the peer pressure/influences and succumbing to that...
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0xFFFFail
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Wait till uni (long wait I know :O ) then live life how you want would be my recommendation
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(Original post by Bezoar)
The above advice is excellent.

OP, I went through a very similar situation when I was your age. My parents were even more controlling than what yours seem like (from what you've told us anyway). Keep trying to reason with your parents, but don't lose your temper. For topics such as body hair etc, it is your body so I personally believe you should shave if you want to shave and let your mum deal with it - she can't force you to unshave. Explain to her that people tease you and it's getting you down, if you haven't explained already.

In regards to drinking, just save it until you go to uni. Don't bother being rebellious, it's not worth the stress at this time in your life. Just respect your parents religious wishes, even if you don't agree with them - and that way you can build trust between you and your parents, and they'll be more likely to be lenient and forgiving of you in the future. I didn't have my first night out until I went to uni, and although yes, I was a little behind when it came to knowing about nights out etc, you quickly learn how to handle it and the novelty wears off quickly. Alcohol is very overrated, and tbh there's a reason why you have to be 18 to purchase it.

I understand how frustrated and isolated you must feel right now due to your parents controlling you. But honestly, the next few years will go by SO quickly, and before you know it, you'll have moved out and you'll be free to do whatever you like with your body and your time

If you need any more advice please feel free to PM me. :console:
Even at Christmas, I don't touch alcohol anymore than about five sips. :noway:
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ILoveExo
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(Original post by Extension)
Even at Christmas, I don't touch alcohol anymore than about five sips. :noway:
Brandy butter looks yummy!
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ChargingStag
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The need for alcohol and other 'enhancements' to have a good time and socialise is the sign of a weak mind.
I understand you don't want to hear the criticisms but as a 24 year old (and not even a parent yet) I cannot in all good conscience recommend how a 14 year old can get away with drinking and house parties. The legal age is there for a reason and shame on all the other careless parents for letting their 14 year olds drink, not your mother.

I can understand as parents get more careless as time goes on the peer pressure to drink gets more and more enormous, I went through it after all. But my recommendation is to just push through it then feel glad about the money you have saved to buy other things far better than alcohol.
I have been dry my entire life (despite the opposite of you happening - my parents have tried hard to get me to drink) and I am extremely grateful for it

As for the shaving, try pulling some logic on her and say that as a girl with equal rights to make her own decisions, you should be able to choose to shave. I can't recommend my more than this due to being male and such, sorry!

As cliche as it sounds, you are sheltered for your own safety
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(Original post by ILoveExo)
Brandy butter looks yummy!
I may just try some of that, (never heard of it before until now).
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ILoveExo
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(Original post by Extension)
I may just try some of that, (never heard of it before until now).
Glad I could help!
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Reue
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(Original post by ChargingStag)
The need for alcohol and other 'enhancements' to have a good time and socialise is the sign of a weak mind.
No, a sign of a week mind is being unable to appreciate that different people enjoy doing different things. Instead they assume there's a 'need' for them to do it.
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alienvoid
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(Original post by 999tigger)
All teenagers get rebellious its part of growing up and establishing yourself.Tbh I think rebellion is a bit overrated and imo you should get smart as rebellion wont get you the things you want and will take a lot of energy.

I prefer the tactic of minimal co operation as you are dependent on your parents for food and shelter. having rows with your mum is an area you will lose as you are a child and she is the adult.

When you are 16 then you can move out on your own, they cant stop you.

The smarter way is to do well in your exams and then go to Uni where you will have way more freedom and if need be you need never go back or only see her through the holidays. After that you can get a job and your own place.

In the meantime get involved in clubs and social activities DoE after school etc and there you can interact with people and be out of her influence. I cant guarantee it but the more of a model pupil you are then the less concerned she will be about control and she might loosen up if you do well.

I dont think getting drunk is a big deal, especially not at 14. I met many people at Uni who had not drunk at all, so it isnt a prerequisite and it isnt the key to happiness. plenty of time to drink yourself to a standstill later on in life.

I just dont see rebellion being a fruitful strategy, but good luck.

Dont forget tattoos are permanent.
If you get a criminal record hen that can hamper you in later life including uni.

Thanks for the help,
I guess rebelling does have downsides and i respect your opinion as an older person with experience about this, but i kinda still want to try stuff .
I'm doing quite well at school, im in a lot of good classes, get good results, i socialise a fair amount and do D of E.
I'm quite independent in other ways, despite my age i have a job at a swimming pool (lifeguard) which is good pay.
Alienvoid
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alienvoid
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(Original post by Bezoar)
The above advice is excellent.

OP, I went through a very similar situation when I was your age. My parents were even more controlling than what yours seem like (from what you've told us anyway). Keep trying to reason with your parents, but don't lose your temper. For topics such as body hair etc, it is your body so I personally believe you should shave if you want to shave and let your mum deal with it - she can't force you to unshave. Explain to her that people tease you and it's getting you down, if you haven't explained already.

In regards to drinking, just save it until you go to uni. Don't bother being rebellious, it's not worth the stress at this time in your life. Just respect your parents religious wishes, even if you don't agree with them - and that way you can build trust between you and your parents, and they'll be more likely to be lenient and forgiving of you in the future. I didn't have my first night out until I went to uni, and although yes, I was a little behind when it came to knowing about nights out etc, you quickly learn how to handle it and the novelty wears off quickly. Alcohol is very overrated, and tbh there's a reason why you have to be 18 to purchase it.

I understand how frustrated and isolated you must feel right now due to your parents controlling you. But honestly, the next few years will go by SO quickly, and before you know it, you'll have moved out and you'll be free to do whatever you like with your body and your time

If you need any more advice please feel free to PM me. :console:
Thank you so much for your help, glad to know there are people online who are willing to talk or whatever.
I've literally tried everything when it comes to the shaving thing, ive asked her if i could remove hair in other ways , ive explained about bullying, etc, and she won't budge.
I guess i'll just take it as it comes and i think for me, rebelling CAN help me a bit to feel more self-assured and less isolated. E.g if i go to a party and people are drinking, i'll have a drink and i think it will be alright as long as i dont get really drunk (i'll drink lots of water to prevent hangover).
In regards to religion i've already tried to get out of it . i hate it, and i quit my bat mitzvah half way through learning it. As soon as i leave home i'll never have to do anything religious again.

Thank you so much for ya help though

Alienvoid x
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Brains123mal
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If I was you I wouldn’t rebel I’m 13 about to be 14 and even though I’m younger than you I think staying innocent will help me and hopefully you live an easier future just in case because the things you may want to do to rebel can effect your future xx
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Sahelll
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man i totally understand you, my mom is also a study freak ans she even raises her hand on me and i HATE HER!!!!!
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