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    Concerns have been expressed to me by senior management that the individuals who were invited to participate in the discussions of this forum are failing to register accounts here, merely viewing the forum as pitiable guests and then leaving for extended periods of time.

    You happen to be one of those guests and your behaviour, in my view, is a slap in the face to the hard work and dedication that members of senior management have put towards conceiving this forum and it is my obligation to forewarn you of the petrifying consequences that can result from such uncongenial actions--oh indeed, such poor manners shall not go unpunished!

    I believe the best way of conveying the scourge we shall inflict on your bodies if you persist in your inconsiderate ways is to enlighten you with a narrative of an individual who I will simply refer to as Jimmy. Like you, Jimmy was at one point in his life sent an email from a mate of his about a forum that had been created so that Jimmy and his group of friends could keep in touch. Unlike the others who had received the very same email, Jimmy thought to himself, "oh, I'll check it out, but I won't register. Read a few messages here and there and then never to be seen again. Who needs these stinking losers as friends anyways?! I'm glad that I will never see them again. I'll make new friends, and they will be better than my old ones--more intelligent as well! TEEHEE!" Unfortunately for Jimmy he was the one who ended up as the 'stinking loser', as he proceeded to ignorantly make the single biggest mistake of his life.

    The kind and considerate individual who had created this forum for Jimmy and the rest of his friends let me know about Jimmy's mischievous behaviour. He said to me, "Yo! Mr. F", with a troubled tone in his voice. I responded, "What is the matter? You seem distressed. Is there anything that Mr. F can do for you?"
    "Well", he replied, "you know this forum I made. Everybody I emailed joined it, except this dude called Jimmy. You know who I'm talking about, right? I'm kinda mad, 'cuz I spent all that time making it, and now Jimmy doesn't appreciate my efforts!"
    "I will deal with Jimmy", was my answer. And so the wheels of Jimmy's fate were set in motion.

    I knew Jimmy well, although Jimmy did not know me at all--what I was capable of. Well, he thought he did--he thought I was harmless; but I had deceived him. He judged me from the exterior, but had no idea what was contained within the interior!

    *maniacal laughter ensues*

    In the middle of the night, at a time when Jimmy was laying fast asleep helpless in his bunk bed (he above, sister below), I decided to give good 'ole Jimmy a visit! He hadn't given me his address, but obtaining such information was easy enough for me.

    The first problem I was faced with was his sister. She was young and I did not want to corrupt her innocent soul by making her witness the horrific events that were about to unfold on her only brother. Fortunately, nature gave me a helping hand--because as I was peering on behind the window in the shadows, she had to go to the little girl's room! This would give me ample time to devastate Jimmy with my mutilation of his spirit. Indeed, the poor pathetic fool would never be the same again--if he but knew it!

    I crept into the room and proceeded to walk towards Jimmy. I noticed that Jimmy was snoring rather loudly. It appeared that good ole' Jimmy was somewhat of a heavy sleeper! Excellent!

    I took duct tape and meat cutting scissors out of my coat pocket (anyone who has seen my coats will have noticed that they have rather large pockets and that I never take them off in case the instruments of execution are found by an unsuspecting victim). I was going to whack Jimmy out before I performed the terrible deed but since he was so heavily asleep there appeared to be no need! I DID IT. Then I left.

    His sister came back into the room, but since it was dark (and Jimmy was up top), she did not see the disfigurement that had occurred just moments ago on Jimmy's body. Thus, I made my escape unnoticed--for now.

    The morning came, and Jimmy's mother was going to take both the children on a shopping trip as she usually did. Unfortunately for her, the first thing she saw as she stepped into their room was Jimmy.

    "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" was her immediate response. She collapsed, for what she had just witnessed was wicked indeed.

    A note had been plastered on Jimmy's chest with some duct tape. It read: I am an assclown. Suck it.

    And thus did I disgrace Jimmy for the rest of his life! Even today he bears the scars of that note. That is the supreme humiliation.

    Think about this carefully now--do you want to bear the same fate as Jimmy?! If not, then I suggest you register and start posting some messages immediately!

    The end.

    Note: This is the result of major sleep deprivation... but the threat is no joke! Really!!
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    Suckit... you're missing Coronation Street.

    (Original post by Pencil)
    Suckit... you're missing Coronation Street.
    Don't watch soaps Pencil... Life's complex enough without worrying about everyone elses problems
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    (Original post by Suckit)
    Don't watch soaps Pencil... Life's complex enough without worrying about everyone elses problems
    What say you go away and deal with it then, huh?

    (Original post by elisabeth_rb)
    What say you go away and deal with it then, huh?
    Firstly, may I comment on your misuse of English grammar. Why don't you sort it out? There's a problem for you.

    Secondly, I don't have any problems; I just object to watching poor acting on television - with storylines that are just too far from the realism of the world.
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    (Original post by suckit)
    Firstly, may I comment on your misuse of English grammar. Why don't you sort it out? There's a problem for you.

    Secondly, I don't have any problems; I just object to watching poor acting on television - with storylines that are just too far from the realism of the world.
    And you sitting behind your computer making up a pile of boring, wierd and in places just strange drivvle to torture people you've never met is closer to the 'realism of the world' is it??

    (Original post by suckit)
    Firstly, may I comment on your misuse of English grammar. Why don't you sort it out? There's a problem for you.

    Secondly, I don't have any problems; I just object to watching poor acting on television - with storylines that are just too far from the realism of the world.
    English doesn't actually have a capital letter, unless it begins a sentence. I suggest you sort your own grammar out before criticising other people's!

    Ben
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    (Original post by Unregistered)
    English doesn't actually have a capital letter, unless it begins a sentence.
    Doesn't it Ben? Doesn't it...

    Muahahahahaaa
    The realism of the world is a joke! Some people may try to avoid what is happening by watching pathetic soaps - I try to avoid what is happening by involving myself in a project which should prove to be pretty good.

    As for English grammar,
    I can capitalize the word English if I want to; I'm not breaking any rules by doing that

    No....I hope not anyway

    Ben

    In fact, English is a language

    Are there more than one English languages? News to me

    English should be capitalized at all times

    (Original post by suckit)
    As for English grammar,
    I can capitalize the word English if I want to; I'm not breaking any rules by doing that
    Tsk, tsk - no full stop.

    What is your project, anyway (I can't be bothered to read that massive post at the top)?

    Ben
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    English should always be spelt with a capital letter. 'Capitalize' is technically spelt right although the 'z' is frowned upon by a lot of non-Americans. Personally, I prefer the 'ise' suffix as it separates us from Americanism.
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    (Original post by suckit)
    Muahahahahaaa
    The realism of the world is a joke! Some people may try to avoid what is happening by watching pathetic soaps - I try to avoid what is happening by involving myself in a project which should prove to be pretty good.

    As for English grammar,
    I can capitalize the word English if I want to; I'm not breaking any rules by doing that

    Oh you're so irritating. How sad is your life that all you can contribute is random grammatical corrections? Haven't you got any battles more worthy to fight than whether you can capitalise *the first letter* of the word 'english'? Why do you seek to 'avoid what is happening'? And why does avoidence have a pecking order - watching soaps is pathethic but pissing people off on the internet is a commendable occupation?

    I was wrong, you have my most humble apologies. It should always be capitalised, unless referring to it as a subject; maths, biology, english (apparently - that's what it says, anyway)

    Ben

    Go Haz!!!

    (With a capital G)

    Ben

    Well, I hope I have opened your eyes to your grammar when posting in forums such as these.

    I am a software developer - my area is PHP scripts for use in Bulletin Boards and Forums

    I have edited a BB which is available at my site.

    Peace

    (Original post by Suckit)
    Well, I hope I have opened your eyes to your grammar when posting in forums such as these.

    I am a software developer - my area is PHP scripts for use in Bulletin Boards and Forums

    I have edited a BB which is available at: my site.

    Peace
    You haven't, but never mind. I'm a complete computer retard and am, consequently, obliged to ask you, nicely: what do those acronyms stand for?

    Ben
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    (Original post by Suckit)
    Well, I hope I have opened your eyes to your grammar when posting in forums such as these.

    I am a software developer - my area is PHP scripts for use in Bulletin Boards and Forums

    I have edited a BB which is available at my site,

    Peace
    Thank you Ben - I shall expect you to infuse me with the same amount of confidence at uni too!

    As for you 'Suckit' - perhaps there are more important things than grammar. However, I don't expect you to agree and merely suggest that you go find yourself a soft porn site like normal software computer guys and leave us alone

    (Original post by Unregistered)
    You haven't, but never mind. I'm a complete computer retard and am, consequently, obliged to ask you, nicely: what do those acronyms stand for?

    Ben
    Well at least I tried - I wasn't expecting anything.

    PHP stands for PHP Hypertext Pre-processor.

    BB stands for Bulletin Board.

    Would you like me to elaborate further?
 
 
 
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