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My personal statement for French & Psychology degree watch

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    My top choice is actually at Liverpool to do Combined Social Science in French, psych and egyptology...quite hard to write a PS covering all three! I am 3 lines over the limit, so any help on what I can remove or add will be greatly appreciated!


    Languages have interested me ever since I started learning French in middle school. I have enjoyed learning languages and always revelled in being able to communicate to people from other countries. A life-long dream for me is to be bilingual and I hope that by taking a degree including a foreign language, my goal will be achieved. French is the language I wish to continue at university because it is one of the most beautiful languages in the world and I am fascinated by life in francophone countries. Although I have not studied French at post-16 level, I have never allowed my ability of French to slip, and I have continued to learn the language in my spare time.

    My A-levels in science subjects have taught me to be inquisitive and to look at things with a logical mind. This kind of thinking will be beneficial when it comes to learning a language full-time. Psychology was my favourite subject in Sixth Form and I would love to be able to continue this at university alongside French. I am fascinated by the workings of the mind and I hope to further my knowledge in this subject. My A-level in Biology has fuelled my interest in the human body and I am sure that this will provide me with a good basis to study Psychology at degree level.

    I have recently completed six months of voluntary work at a residential home. For the summer of 2004, I worked full time at a holiday club for children with profound learning difficulties and mental health problems. I was able to learn a lot about language acquisition as well as a basic level of makaton sign language. I thoroughly enjoyed working at the holiday club and I felt I was able to put my skills to good use when working with the children. Although the job was hard, it was a rewarding experience I am glad to have had.

    I am taking a gap year starting in September 2004 and I will be working as an auxiliary nurse at a hospital until February 2005, when I am going to China to teach English for six months. I have worked with small groups of children at my school to help them prepare for their exams in English. I think that going abroad and teaching English will not only make me more confident and mature, it will also open up new doorways for me in terms of jobs and lifestyle. I am currently learning Mandarin Chinese which, although is very difficult, is a language that is very important in today's world and a skill I will need for my time in China.

    In my spare time, I like to practise and perform music. I play the piano, the alto saxophone and I sing. I have reached Grade 5 on the piano and I recently passed my Grade 8 singing exam with a merit. I am in a number of groups, such as the Isle of Wight Youth Concert Band, the Voices of the Isle of Wight Choir, and my school's orchestra and choir. I thoroughly enjoy being in these groups because I like to work with others participating in something that I really have a passion for. Being a member of these musical groups helps me to express myself and build upon my teamwork skills. Because of my love of languages, I have learnt to speak some basic Italian, Spanish, Modern Greek, German and Mandarin Chinese. Holidays to these countries have enabled me to use my language skills, which I wholly enjoyed. I am also fascinated by Egypt and would love to learn more about ancient Egyptian culture and especially the language.

    A joint degree in a language and another subject would enable me to bring my interests and skills together in a very practical way. I believe learning a second language to be of utmost importance for all people and I hope to bridge the gap between people who don't speak English and myself. I know that my university experience will broaden my horizons and further develop my character. My drive, compassion, team spirit, work ethic and calm determination are qualities I believe will serve me well in a demanding, yet stimulating language degree.
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    How about these variations?


    Languages have interested me since I started learning French in middle school. I love learning languages and always revelled in being able to communicate with people from other countries. My life-long dream is to be bilingual and by taking a degree including a foreign language, my goal will be achieved. French is the language I wish to continue at university as it is one of the most beautiful languages in the world and I am fascinated by life in francophone countries. Although I have not studied French at post-16 level I have continued to learn the language regularly in my spare time.

    My A-levels in science subjects have taught me to be inquisitive and to look at things with a logical mind. This kind of thinking will be beneficial when it comes to learning a language full-time. Psychology was my favourite subject in Sixth Form and I would love to be able to continue this at university alongside French. The workings of the mind fascinate me and I hope to further my knowledge in this subject. A-level in Biology has fuelled my interest in the human body and will provide me with a good basis to study Psychology.

    I have recently completed six months of voluntary work at a residential home. For the summer of 2004, I worked full time at a holiday club for children with profound learning difficulties and mental health problems. I was able to learn a lot about language acquisition as well as a basic level of makaton sign language. I thoroughly enjoyed working there and felt able to put my skills to good use when working with the children. Although hard, it was a rewarding experience.

    I am taking a gap year starting in September 2004 and I will be working as an auxiliary nurse at a hospital until February 2005, when I am going to China to teach English for six months. I have worked with small groups of children at my school to help them prepare for their exams in English. Going abroad and teaching English will not only make me more confident and mature, it will also open up new doorways in terms of jobs and lifestyle. I am currently learning Mandarin Chinese which, although very difficult, is a language that is very important in today's world and a skill I will need for my time in China.

    In my spare time, I like to practise and perform music. I play the piano, the alto saxophone and I sing. I have reached Grade 5 on the piano and I recently passed my Grade 8 singing exam with a merit. I am in a number of groups, such as the Isle of Wight Youth Concert Band, the Voices of the Isle of Wight Choir, and my school's orchestra and choir. I thoroughly enjoy being in these groups because I like to work with others participating in something that I really have a passion for. Being a member helps me to express myself and build upon my teamwork skills. Because of my love of languages, I have learnt to speak some basic Italian, Spanish, Modern Greek, German and Mandarin Chinese. Holidays to these countries have enabled me to use my language skills, which I wholly enjoyed. I am also fascinated by Egypt and would love to learn more about ancient Egyptian culture and especially the language.

    A joint degree in a language and another subject would enable me to bring my interests and skills together in a very practical way. I believe learning a second language to be of utmost importance for all people. I know that my university experience will broaden my horizons and further develop my character. My drive, compassion, team spirit, work ethic and calm determination are qualities I believe will serve me well in a demanding, yet stimulating degree course.
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    Wow! It is now the exact size needed! How can I thank you! I can't rep you today as I've already given some earlier, but you can count on a good deal of rep in the upcoming days! Thank you so much! Honestly, you're a super-star! Looks like my UCAS form is finished now...wow, it's not even September yet! What was your opinion of the Personal Statement? Do you think I have a chance of getting into Liverpool and Birmingham (my top two choices at the moment)?
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    (Original post by ThunderCat8)
    Wow! It is now the exact size needed! How can I thank you! I can't rep you today as I've already given some earlier, but you can count on a good deal of rep in the upcoming days! Thank you so much! Honestly, you're a super-star! Looks like my UCAS form is finished now...wow, it's not even September yet! What was your opinion of the Personal Statement? Do you think I have a chance of getting into Liverpool and Birmingham (my top two choices at the moment)?
    You could fiddle with it for ages, if you really want to, but it's probably now worth taking that one in to your tutor/head of Sixth form etc and getting them to cast their eye over it. It reads quite well and, depending on your grades, you stand a reasonable chance - the only thing that might count against you is the lack of an AS in French - is there any chance you could do that? If not I would suggest that whoever oes your reference puts something in about your fluency - even if it means talking to the French teachers at school (in French!) so they might be able to add a comment.
    Glad to help!
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    (Original post by Geogger)
    You could fiddle with it for ages, if you really want to, but it's probably now worth taking that one in to your tutor/head of Sixth form etc and getting them to cast their eye over it. It reads quite well and, depending on your grades, you stand a reasonable chance - the only thing that might count against you is the lack of an AS in French - is there any chance you could do that? If not I would suggest that whoever oes your reference puts something in about your fluency - even if it means talking to the French teachers at school (in French!) so they might be able to add a comment.
    Glad to help!
    Well, I have spoken to the French teachers, and they said it was fine for me to come to lessons next year, but only until Feb obviosuly when I go to China. I did have a brilliant idea of doing the whole French AS in January exams, which would be very very hard...the only thing is, the English teaching training which I have to go on to be able to go to China is on the same day as the AS french exams So i either do french AS level, or go to China (and I've already paid to go there!) So I will still go to lessons, but just not do the exams. That will still up my level of French, and hopefully that can be mentioned on my reference. I am not fluent in French btw, nowhere near infact! I'm barely better than GCSE standard! lol

    Thanks for all the advice, I'm sure I'll come back for some more advice from you later on!
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    Hey,

    I help Scott with his French and he is very good and I would say above GCSE standard!

    Wahey! :cool:

    Jordan
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    (Original post by chicoinglés)
    Hey,

    I help Scott with his French and he is very good and I would say above GCSE standard!

    Wahey! :cool:

    Jordan
    Shucks You're ever so sweet Jordan, I have a long long way to go still though before I'll be anything more than a GCSE french speaker.
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    Every admissions tutor I've spoken to gets incredibly angry when people say they want to do French or Italian because they're "beautiful" languages. If I were you, I'd strongly rethink that part.
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    (Original post by Dr. Blazed)
    Every admissions tutor I've spoken to gets incredibly angry when people say they want to do French or Italian because they're "beautiful" languages. If I were you, I'd strongly rethink that part.
    oh :confused: Damn! What is a good adjective to use then?
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    (Original post by ThunderCat8)
    oh :confused: Damn! What is a good adjective to use then?
    Eloquent? inspirational?
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    Hmmm, I'm not sure if eloquent or inspirational will fit :confused:

    How about I just say this:

    "French is the language I wish to continue at university because it is the best language in the world."

    Is that a tad over-the-top?
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    (Original post by ThunderCat8)
    Hmmm, I'm not sure if eloquent or inspirational will fit :confused:

    How about I just say this:

    "French is the language I wish to continue at university because it is the best language in the world."

    Is that a tad over-the-top?
    Perhaps! How about evocative?
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    Is French really evocative though?

    I think more along the lines of:

    enchanting
    fascinating
    formidable
    captivating
    pulchritudinous (such a cool word!)

    I'm stuck now! Eeky! Thanks for the ideas so far Geogger, maybe more rep is in need of being given out! :cool:

    edit: I tried, but it said I must spread the love around first before giving rep to you again. Darn!
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    (Original post by ThunderCat8)
    Is French really evocative though?

    I think more along the lines of:

    enchanting
    fascinating
    formidable
    captivating
    pulchritudinous (such a cool word!)

    I'm stuck now! Eeky! Thanks for the ideas so far Geogger, maybe more rep is in need of being given out! :cool:

    edit: I tried, but it said I must spread the love around first before giving rep to you again. Darn!
    I like enchanting - it has a slightly fey sound to it!
    I'll happily accept rep later (I think its 10 days! - tat's what I was told previously when I tried to rep someone twice!)
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    (Original post by Geogger)
    I like enchanting - it has a slightly fey sound to it!
    Do u think it is good that I use a word that sounds fey? Is that a description favoured by admissions tutors? I love it myself, but I don't want to come across as pompous or as somebody who used a thesaurus for every other word in my personal statement. (i didn't use a thesaurus at all infact )

    I also think I should use the word "fey" more often. It is a super word!
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    (Original post by ThunderCat8)
    Do u think it is good that I use a word that sounds fey? Is that a description favoured by admissions tutors? I love it myself, but I don't want to come across as pompous or as somebody who used a thesaurus for every other word in my personal statement. (i didn't use a thesaurus at all infact )

    I also think I should use the word "fey" more often. It is a super word!
    Yes it has good undertones doesn't it?! But apropos of enchanting I quite like that still (for the moment, anyway).
 
 
 
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