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    these women are probably like 60 years old who need luvvin lol
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    (Original post by maattdi_2000)
    these women are probably like 60 years old who need luvvin lol
    or men :rolleyes: which is scary if I.F. was straight ---- jokes on him
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    This is funny as... Where are you getting them from?
    BTW - you arn't I.F. are you? If so rofl.
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    (Original post by Chubb)
    This is funny as... Where are you getting them from?
    BTW - you arn't I.F. are you? If so rofl.
    I wish i was !!!! ...... im gonna try this once in the WinMx chatrooms ... 16yohottie is asking if there are any hot men on rite now :rolleyes:

    a mate sent em to me
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    Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
    Bloodninja: Yeah, I just like fighting movies.
    Partner6: So whats with the *Ninja*
    Bloodninja?: Uh, It's cause I'm into the kung fu gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t.
    Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
    Bloodninja: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
    Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
    Bloodninja: hehe, of course baby.
    Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
    Bloodninja: Ohh, it's so big.
    Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
    Bloodninja: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
    Partner6: It likes that.
    Bloodninja: aight.
    Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
    Bloodninja: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
    Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
    Bloodninja: I unzip my pants...
    Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
    Bloodninja: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
    Partner6: WTF?!
    Bloodninja: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
    Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f**k women...
    Bloodninja: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
    Partner6: You dipsh*t.
    Bloodninja: I whimper to myself...
    Bloodninja: please don't shoot me

    EDIT : Not as good as the previous ... but this is the las tone i had ... might as well have completed the quartet
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    *Cough* http://bash.org/?browse *Cough*
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    (Original post by Alec)
    *Cough* http://bash.org/?browse *Cough*
    thanks ... now i know how to pass the time till the 19th .... im very bored
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    hehehe
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    mjg from these boards tried to cyber with me lol, "if u pretend to b a girl we can still cyber."
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    (Original post by fishpaste)
    mjg from these boards tried to cyber with me lol, "if u pretend to b a girl we can still cyber."
    so did u :rolleyes:

    u can b the rhinoceros later
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    (Original post by infekt)
    so did u :rolleyes:

    u can b the rhinoceros later
    Yeah, I played the girl, got my virtual **** out, and he left
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    These are old .
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    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, Im toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: Im 63 and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. Im also wearing a t-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

    Wellhung: OK.

    Sweetheart: Were in my bedroom. Theres soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. Im looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

    Wellhung: Im gulping, Im beginning to sweat.

    Sweetheart: Im pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

    Wellhung: Now Im unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

    Sweetheart: Im moaning softly.

    Wellhung: Im taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

    Sweetheart: Im throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. Im rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks *******ally and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. Im sorry.

    Sweetheart: Thats OK, it wasnt really too expensive.

    Wellhung: Ill pay for it.

    Sweetheart: Dont worry about it. Im wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

    Wellhung: Im fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think its stuck. Do you have any scissors?

    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. Im reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

    Wellhung: How did you do that? Im picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

    Sweetheart: Im arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

    Wellhung: Im dropping the bra. Now Im licking your, you know, breasts. Theyre neat!

    Sweetheart: Im running my fingers through your hair. Now Im nibbling your ear.

    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: Im so sorry. Really.

    Sweetheart: Im wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

    Wellhung: Im taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

    Sweetheart: OK. Im pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

    Wellhung: Im screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

    Sweetheart: Im pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

    Wellhung: Im pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

    Sweetheart: Whats the matter?

    Wellhung: Ive got a pubic hair caught in my throat. Im choking.

    Sweetheart: Are you OK?

    Wellhung: Im having a coughing fit. Im turning all red.

    Sweetheart: Can I help?

    Wellhung: Im running to the kitchen, choking wildly. Im fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

    Wellhung: Im drinking a cup of water. There, thats better.

    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

    Wellhung: Im washing the cup now.

    Sweetheart: Im on the bed arching for you.

    Wellhung: Im drying the cup. Now Im putting it back in the cabinet. And now Im walking back to the bedroom. Wait, its dark, Im lost. Wheres the bedroom?

    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

    Wellhung: I found it.

    Sweetheart: Im tuggin off your pants. Im moaning. I want you so badly.

    Wellhung: Me too.

    Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately -- our naked bodies pressing against each other.

    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

    Sweetheart: Why dont you take off your glasses?

    Wellhung: OK, but I cant see very well without them. I place my glasses on the night table.

    Sweetheart: Im bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

    Wellhung: I have to pee. Im fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

    Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and its dark. Im feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

    Sweetheart: Im waiting eagerly for your return.

    Wellhung: Im done going. Im feeling around for the flush handle, but I cant find it. Uh-oh!

    Sweetheart: Whats the matter now?

    Wellhung: Ive realized that Ive peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. Im walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

    Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

    Wellhung: OK, now Im going to put my...you know...thing...in your...you know...womans thing.

    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

    Wellhung: Im touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, Im having a little trouble here.

    Sweetheart: Im moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I cant stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

    Wellhung: Im flaccid.

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: Im limp. I cant sustain an erection.

    Sweetheart: Im standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

    Wellhung: Im shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. Im going to get my glasses and see whats wrong.

    Sweetheart: No, never mind. Im getting dressed. Im putting on my underwear. Now Im putting on my wet nasty blouse.

    Wellhung: No, wait! Now Im squinting, trying to find the night table. Im feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

    Sweetheart: Im buttoning my blouse. Now Im putting on my shoes.

    Wellhung: Ive found my glasses. Im putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! Im pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

    Sweetheart: Go to hell. Im logging off, you loser!

    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
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    All cybering is bad.. at least these ones attempt to be humorous
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    Baha! This reminds me of Yahoo Chat a few years ago.
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    This man is an inspiration, I intend to annoy people in the same way soon. :cool:

    Oh and btw, I think TK is blushing after reading this, is she feeling like a victim by any chance?
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    (Original post by infekt)
    .F.: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    jap_gurli: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    I.F.: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    jap_gurli: haha, ok lets go.
    jap_gurli: : i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    I.F.: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    jap_gurli: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    jap_gurli: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    I.F.: : Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    jap_gurli: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    I.F.: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
    jap_gurli: stop, cmon be serious.
    I.F.: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
    I.F.: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    jap_gurli: thats it.
    I.F.: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    I.F.: Goddam am I hard now.

    -she signed off...-
    this is the first time i have ever read a cyber attempt.....wow people who do this are F*cking retarded.. how can u get excited from crap like this....... its like watching a spelling bee on tv and jacking off..... i am amazed ppl do this, land if this is why the internet is so popular then we need another world war to kill off some of these people/
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    (Original post by MuniE)
    this is the first time i have ever read a cyber attempt.....wow people who do this are F*cking retarded.. how can u get excited from crap like this....... its like watching a spelling bee on tv and jacking off..... i am amazed ppl do this, land if this is why the internet is so popular then we need another world war to kill off some of these people/
    It doesn't turn me on, it forces other bodily fluids from me though.
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    (Original post by tis_me_lord)
    It doesn't turn me on, it forces other bodily fluids from me though.
    ya if i saw someone doing that i would throw up too
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    (Original post by MuniE)
    ya if i saw someone doing that i would throw up too
    I meant pissing myself, actually; it's so hillarious.
 
 
 
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