University is making me feel depressed Watch

rosedusk
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I'm in my first year at uni and I've found the whole experience so difficult. For the past 4 months I feel as if my mental health has been getting worse. I didn't get the opportunity to live on campus so I was left finding a last minute house off campus, where the people I live with are lovely, but it's nothing more than being friendly and civil. I've made a few friends but they all have cliches with the people they live with so it's difficult to have a social life. After seminars I just go home and sit in my room alone, which makes me feel incredibly isolated. My attendance is bad because I constantly feel pessimistic and worthless, which isn't helped by being below average in everything I do. Every weekend I go home because I simply need the company and its the only way I can feel better. The university I'm at is one I wanted to go to from the age of 14, and uni has always been something I wanted to do, I had such high expectations and thought I'd be so happy but in reality it's the opposite.

Sorry for the rant haha, I was just wondering if anyone is feeling the same/has felt the same? Would be helpful to not feel alone on this!
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ByEeek
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1. Seek help. You aren't the first person to go through this and you won't be the last. Go to the welfare office in the union and pour out your heart. At the least they will listen to you but in all probability will be able to give you helpful tips and advice.
2. Lower your expectations. If you have no expectation, you will never be disappointed.
3. If you are feeling lonely get out there and start joining groups, clubs or societies. Be positive and outgoing. No one likes someone who saps the energy from the room. It sounds harsh, but it is true. The effort has to come from you. It can take a while to get into a group, but persistence, positivity and a winning smile will get you there in the end. You just have to stick out those awkward first meetings where no one really knows what to say to you.

Good luck!
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Steven smith
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Im in my third year honestly struggling to cope. Life was good until i went uni now i just feel like **** every single day. Im always feeling stressed out and depressed, the only thing i can really say is that your not alone try speaking to someone about it and open up. Mental illness is a dangerous thing.
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crazycatlady1991
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I'm starting a university that I really do not want to go to but no choice now I'm getting older and cant keep postponing it but tbh I feel like giving up on life
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OwenJay
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Glad I found this thread. I am a mature age student. I messed up pretty bad at school and couldn't get into uni (partially due to undiagnosed ADHD), so i did an apprenticeship in carpentry, then became a builder, started a building company and did that for a while until I got over it. 10 years of hard labour was enough. Now Im at uni and realising how important all the things i didn't pay attention to in school were. I was/am good at building and I got a great deal of satisfaction (and money) from my work, i felt good about myself and my achievements, i could buy nice things and blow money on leisure activities. Now, at uni, I feel ****. like I struggle big time with simple ****. Ive got no money. My social life is suffering. I have to bum money and rent off my gf. And so life feels pretty ****. My ADHD meds make me jittery and anxious/socially awkward. So I have no mates, I struggle with the work and the work load and generally not enjoying it. What keeps me going, however, is the memory of busting my balls on a building site for 60hrs a week. It's not something i want to be doing until I retire and so I keep turning up and trying to get through it. (currently week 2 of my third semester, got like 10 semesters to go to do what i want to. FML!)Any way this felt good to read and learn that Im not the only one having a **** time. Also felt good to write. I hope that me sharing my experience helps some other lonely, depressed student out there. Keep ya heads up kids! Most uni's have free psychology services. So if **** is really getting you down, go make an appointment. Seems dumb sometimes. But it is likely to help a lot and help you get through the uni grind.
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Rt6f
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HEY your in the same situation as me! I went through a tough time at uni and found it hard to make friends, isolating and miserable. Everyone I knew had their own cliches. Even the people who lived at home had their own groups and made friends better than me lol. I was always that person that was on the side.
BUT you change this by joining a club or picking up another course on the side. I chose to start another langauge because it gives me time outside my main studies to meet new people and learn a new skill. Now I go to uni knowing I will see other people after.
Even now I have to accept the people on my course are not people that I get on with the most. But the people I see on my laguage course are more my friends because we share a common interest.
I have been where you have been and im sorry to say but, you have to dig yourself out of it. No one (apart from a therapist) is really going to help you. You have to try and meet new people, join new clubs and get out there.
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SHUGURU
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(Original post by rosedusk)
I'm in my first year at uni and I've found the whole experience so difficult. For the past 4 months I feel as if my mental health has been getting worse. I didn't get the opportunity to live on campus so I was left finding a last minute house off campus, where the people I live with are lovely, but it's nothing more than being friendly and civil. I've made a few friends but they all have cliches with the people they live with so it's difficult to have a social life. After seminars I just go home and sit in my room alone, which makes me feel incredibly isolated. My attendance is bad because I constantly feel pessimistic and worthless, which isn't helped by being below average in everything I do. Every weekend I go home because I simply need the company and its the only way I can feel better. The university I'm at is one I wanted to go to from the age of 14, and uni has always been something I wanted to do, I had such high expectations and thought I'd be so happy but in reality it's the opposite.

Sorry for the rant haha, I was just wondering if anyone is feeling the same/has felt the same? Would be helpful to not feel alone on this!
So many university students go through difficult times, and it's not a surprise when you think about our circumstances - we are studying for three or four years with no guarantee of getting a career at the end, getting into debt and having little money to spend on doing fun past times, let alone spending it on getting good and healthy food to eat, we're away from home, with people we haven't known for very long, and we have a lot of studying to do! The list goes on really, and it's different for everybody. I struggled with mental health problems before I came, but they meant that I didn't enjoy my first year much at all, as I isolated myself without realising, I was too nervous to join any societies or do the things I love doing, and I felt pressured to get the best grades possible because I felt like I wasn't achieving much else.

But uni can also be so much fun. Joining up to societies (which I did in my second year) is an amazing way to meet new friends who are guaranteed to share at least one interest with you, and to join in with fun activities, and have an excuse to socialise basically. I've enjoyed being in societies so much in my second year that I'm going to be the president of one next year! I couldn't recommend that enough - especially when it comes back to Freshers' week because there will be lots of new people joining up to societies and it means that you won't be the only new person, so everybody will be excited to welcome you. If you enjoy sports, you should look at sports teams, too.

As lots of people have said above, you should definitely seek some support from your university. They should have a wellbeing service, an advice service or at the very least a doctor who can give you advice and talk to you about some of the best ways to feel more at home at university, to find fun activities that will make you happy, and to feel less stressed about uni.

Remember why you wanted to come to your university as much as you did when you were younger. It can be such a fun experience, and you have the power to make it so for yourself!!

I hope your second year is much better for you.

Ellie
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JarJar2x4
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(Original post by SHUGURU)
So many university students go through difficult times, and it's not a surprise when you think about our circumstances - we are studying for three or four years with no guarantee of getting a career at the end, getting into debt and having little money to spend on doing fun past times, let alone spending it on getting good and healthy food to eat, we're away from home, with people we haven't known for very long, and we have a lot of studying to do! The list goes on really, and it's different for everybody. I struggled with mental health problems before I came, but they meant that I didn't enjoy my first year much at all, as I isolated myself without realising, I was too nervous to join any societies or do the things I love doing, and I felt pressured to get the best grades possible because I felt like I wasn't achieving much else.

But uni can also be so much fun. Joining up to societies (which I did in my second year) is an amazing way to meet new friends who are guaranteed to share at least one interest with you, and to join in with fun activities, and have an excuse to socialise basically. I've enjoyed being in societies so much in my second year that I'm going to be the president of one next year! I couldn't recommend that enough - especially when it comes back to Freshers' week because there will be lots of new people joining up to societies and it means that you won't be the only new person, so everybody will be excited to welcome you. If you enjoy sports, you should look at sports teams, too.

As lots of people have said above, you should definitely seek some support from your university. They should have a wellbeing service, an advice service or at the very least a doctor who can give you advice and talk to you about some of the best ways to feel more at home at university, to find fun activities that will make you happy, and to feel less stressed about uni.

Remember why you wanted to come to your university as much as you did when you were younger. It can be such a fun experience, and you have the power to make it so for yourself!!

I hope your second year is much better for you.

Ellie
Man(or woman), I am so happy I read this. First year for me was, meh. It wasn't amazing but it wasn't bad. I just felt like I was missing out on so much, as I still lived with my parents. I didn't join any clubs or societies so I just went home after a day in uni. I am going to second year and am living there so that I feel closer tho the uni, has I lived in Nottingham and my uni is in leicester, which is far. So yea.
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storm95
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sounds like my life at uni. thank god im in my third and final year
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SHUGURU
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(Original post by JarJar2x4)
Man(or woman), I am so happy I read this. First year for me was, meh. It wasn't amazing but it wasn't bad. I just felt like I was missing out on so much, as I still lived with my parents. I didn't join any clubs or societies so I just went home after a day in uni. I am going to second year and am living there so that I feel closer tho the uni, has I lived in Nottingham and my uni is in leicester, which is far. So yea.
It's a shame you felt like you were missing out - but don't worry, as you still have the bigger portion of your university experience left, and you have so much opportunity to make it exciting, fun and rewarding.

Like I said above, Freshers' week is the best time to join societies and sports, as it means not only new first years but also people from other years will be joining things for the first time, which can make it less daunting than starting in the middle of the year. So don't hesitate to try new things and explore your hobbies right from the start!

Good luck. Have a great year.
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Elliottwardle96
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My feelings are exactly the same I’m 21 and in my first year of uni and have found the experience dreadful. Now I’m a social guy etc and have had many friends throughout early life but for some reason just haven’t clicked with anyone here. Even though you tell yourself it’s the uni rather than you it can still get to you can’t it?
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sheraz shahbaz
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Yes i also feel like that i am the only one male in my class there is all girls thats why i faced a alot problems.
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