Living alone, no real friends, no family, no life.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
I'm 25 years old and I come from a broken family home. I have no real friends who would be there when I need them. No one to just call up to hang out or anything. I dont live with family as we fall out and get into arguments.

Other than my crap job, I have no other social environment. I suffer from depression, and I really want to make friends and have a sense of belonging. I'm 25 and I dont even get out that much or have a social environment to go too.

Is there anyone who is also in this same situation?
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Nerry
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#2
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yeah this guy

https://youtu.be/Pnph3rzi-Wo?t=2m30s

so you're not alone
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quasa
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(Original post by Nerry)
yeah this guy

https://youtu.be/Pnph3rzi-Wo?t=2m30s

so you're not alone
ok, the vid is funny but it is friggin inappropriate
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 25 years old and I come from a broken family home. I have no real friends who would be there when I need them. No one to just call up to hang out or anything. I dont live with family as we fall out and get into arguments.

Other than my crap job, I have no other social environment. I suffer from depression, and I really want to make friends and have a sense of belonging. I'm 25 and I dont even get out that much or have a social environment to go too.

Is there anyone who is also in this same situation?
hey, I kinda know what your going through as I have / experienced a lot of it.

In high school I had virtually no friends as I was a a short, asian, fat muslim in a predominantly white high school. during high school I got, amongst other things, stabbed in the face with a soldering iron (which was plugged in), strangled with a bike chain, kicked in the nuts numerous times, beaten with a badminton racket (well I could have been but was able to overpower the assailant and hit him with the racket using his own hand - i ended up getting a week detention for essentially standing up for myself).

sixth form 1st year, I thought I made friends but they were really the friends of the girl I was dating and I had essentially ditched all my highschool friends as I was finally able to hang out with fellow asians. 2nd year sixth form, girl I dated moved away and those "friends" didnt want anything to do with me (more or less - ill get back to it later) so I essentially tried to be friends again with the highschool friends (invovled a lot of grovelling and ended up being friends again with about 12 of them).

then I went to uni where I had none of my old friends as I was completely elsewhere. these guys essentially stopped keeping in contact with me so I ended up making new friends at uni.

then I graduated and this is where things gets messed up. when I graduated, I had a year contract to work for a big company. the thing is however is a) I was recovering from a broken leg and a severe allergic reaction which meant I was hospitallised for 3 months b) the company promised me that I would get physiotherapy and occupational support (neither of which they delivered on) and c) I had to move to an area 240 miles away from home / £200 miles away from anyone I knew in a place with virtually no internet (read dial-up - people still use that in rural areas surprisingly) and crap phone reception. This caused me to become really depressed as I was in constant pain and agony, nobody at the job would help me out and were instead discriminatory towards me making me do extra work despite trying to recover from a broken leg (I had some jewish guy who's mother-in-law was a holocaust survivor say he absolutely hated muslims and indians, kept calling them *******s and that they deserve to die) and the villiage people kept acting towards me like they wanted me out (the only way they wanted to talk to me was for church related stuff - a catholic and a COE priest both tried converting me to christianity during my last day of work.

as a result of these incidents, I quit but it caused my depression to really go up and starting lashing out on people online and lost most of my uni friends.

fact is however si that depression is cyclical, there are periods where youll feel *****y but you can get yourself out of it.

when I started highschool, I had no friends due to my religion and colour of skin (that and 9/11 had happened when I was in year 6) yet because I wanted to be friends with people, I was not only able to befriend fellow minorities but also some of the people who were crap to me in year 7/8/9/primary school. In uni I had to start from scratch yet through communicating with people any opportunity I got, I was able to befriend them and had some interesting memories.

when I left the hellish village (which shall remain anonymous), I ended up back home and was sadly in a position where I had noone to hang out / talk to. I was able to however able to track down some people who were in similar situations to me and we ended up chatting online. even the ex (who I still have some lingering feelings towards) I try and keep in contact with her /her mates as I really enjoyed hanging out with them.

at the end of the day, just stop whinning and get yourself out there. when people knock you down (or you trip yourself on purpose), pick yourself back up, swear at them and run straight towards the finishing line (finishing line being your happiness / interests/ goals in life)
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Anonymous #3
#5
Report 3 years ago
#5
I can relate to not having friends. I'm at university.
I have my housemates I guess who I barely see I probs hear them more lol but are nice better than b4 where I was abused by old housemates.
I have a few online friends which aren't really the same tho some are nice, I'd like more though maybe that I can relate to. I have people I see at societies too. But I don't like anyone really from my course, there are a few niceish decent people though they are usually on not my specific course but one that occasionally overlaps with mine and anyone who is partly decent on my course is in a tight clique. Damn its more fun talking to lecturers argh. I did make a friend or two but any I had I lost basically or they became long distance.

I don't drink alcohol or have ID so I don't go out so much for stuff. I do however do stuff when I can. In the past I can't say I had that much more friends but at least I had people I could talk to or I were somewhat friendly with here everyone is closed.
At least I have more freedom now but it can be very isolating. I want to get out and do something exciting..

Sometimes I think does anyone genuinely want to be friends? Do they really care? Some people do I guess but I mostly don't feel like they do.
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Anonymous #4
#6
Report 3 years ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 25 years old and I come from a broken family home. I have no real friends who would be there when I need them. No one to just call up to hang out or anything. I dont live with family as we fall out and get into arguments.

Other than my crap job, I have no other social environment. I suffer from depression, and I really want to make friends and have a sense of belonging. I'm 25 and I dont even get out that much or have a social environment to go too.

Is there anyone who is also in this same situation?
Yep. My situation is so bad that when I Iost my job last year my only social interaction for 3 months was in a job interview. I didn't speak to another person in a social setting once for 12 weeks.

I have zero contact outside work with anyone not even a text message. I knew a lot of people from uni or old jobs but because I have such poor social skills I was never able to convert any of them into serious friendships, and as soon as we weren't around each other daily that was it.

Now i've moved to a new city and it feels like i'll never have a friend again. I like my job but this is no way to live, and I just don't know what to do anymore.
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Anonymous #2
#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yep. My situation is so bad that when I Iost my job last year my only social interaction for 3 months was in a job interview. I didn't speak to another person in a social setting once for 12 weeks.

I have zero contact outside work with anyone not even a text message. I knew a lot of people from uni or old jobs but because I have such poor social skills I was never able to convert any of them into serious friendships, and as soon as we weren't around each other daily that was it.

Now i've moved to a new city and it feels like i'll never have a friend again. I like my job but this is no way to live, and I just don't know what to do anymore.
if its any consolation, I have only had 14 months work (on/off) in the last 4 years and have virtually nobody to talk to minus my neighbours cats (yes Im that sad). truth is, if it is really bad, get counselling, be it individual or group as you definately have depression with anxiety related issues (Im a health professional btw who has graduated from a russell group uni so I know a thing or 2 aboot mental health). truth is that unless you actively try to make a difference and face the world, your just going to remain withdrawn. Be an opportunist and try and use any random event to socialise. group therapy to me sounds like it would be beneficial as youll be able to meet people in similar situations as yourself. thing is however, u need referral by GP if on NHS nad it can be expensive private.

but yh, good luck (fyi the interaction with people I have outside my home is something like 10-15 minutes a week if I am lucky. I feel miserable and lonely but I don't let it down and use whatever opportunities present themselves. even TSR is a good tool to help combat loneliness as you can use it to talk about interests and hobbies with random people).
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study beats
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 25 years old and I come from a broken family home. I have no real friends who would be there when I need them. No one to just call up to hang out or anything. I dont live with family as we fall out and get into arguments.

Other than my crap job, I have no other social environment. I suffer from depression, and I really want to make friends and have a sense of belonging. I'm 25 and I dont even get out that much or have a social environment to go too.

Is there anyone who is also in this same situation?
i am 22 i suffer from severe ocd, depression and anxiety.

i have been at university for 4 years and have had no real friends.....no social life ,nothing ....
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Java7
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#9
Sorry to hear about that OP.

What is your job?

If you hate it, get out of it! Find some contacts and see where it can take you, go back to studying, learn a programming language or two.

Volunteer, join clubs, go to the library and see what activities they have on.

See you GP about your depression, they could recommend you with a voluntary counsellor.

Good luck and I hope it all works out.
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TheVintagePhase
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#10
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(Original post by Anonymous)
if its any consolation, I have only had 14 months work (on/off) in the last 4 years and have virtually nobody to talk to minus my neighbours cats (yes Im that sad). truth is, if it is really bad, get counselling, be it individual or group as you definately have depression with anxiety related issues (Im a health professional btw who has graduated from a russell group uni so I know a thing or 2 aboot mental health). truth is that unless you actively try to make a difference and face the world, your just going to remain withdrawn. Be an opportunist and try and use any random event to socialise. group therapy to me sounds like it would be beneficial as youll be able to meet people in similar situations as yourself. thing is however, u need referral by GP if on NHS nad it can be expensive private.

but yh, good luck (fyi the interaction with people I have outside my home is something like 10-15 minutes a week if I am lucky. I feel miserable and lonely but I don't let it down and use whatever opportunities present themselves. even TSR is a good tool to help combat loneliness as you can use it to talk about interests and hobbies with random people).
I can relate to a lot of what you say, would you be interested in befriending? I'm thinking to set up a support group. Please let me know.
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TheVintagePhase
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yep. My situation is so bad that when I Iost my job last year my only social interaction for 3 months was in a job interview. I didn't speak to another person in a social setting once for 12 weeks.

I have zero contact outside work with anyone not even a text message. I knew a lot of people from uni or old jobs but because I have such poor social skills I was never able to convert any of them into serious friendships, and as soon as we weren't around each other daily that was it.

Now i've moved to a new city and it feels like i'll never have a friend again. I like my job but this is no way to live, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

That must have been really difficult. And with everything you said I have has a similar situation. I would like to talk more about it I also had felt like that when I was going to job interviews. Would you be interested in befriending a TSR user? It doesnt have to be awkward but I really think we could help each other though a support group/network. Please do message me, I would really want to reach out to you. Thanks
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R2497
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 25 years old and I come from a broken family home. I have no real friends who would be there when I need them. No one to just call up to hang out or anything. I dont live with family as we fall out and get into arguments.

Other than my crap job, I have no other social environment. I suffer from depression, and I really want to make friends and have a sense of belonging. I'm 25 and I dont even get out that much or have a social environment to go too.

Is there anyone who is also in this same situation?
Yes honey. I'm in a similar situation. I had no social interaction at sixth form, because i was the only one in my subject, in French and Spanish. It's all carried on from 2015 really. I got a job and one of my managers was treating me unfairly, for no reason. Here I am stuck, unemployed and with no friends. I'm only 20 years old and feel that my life should be better than this. And what's worse, my mum sees various friends and makes sure i know about it, because she wants me to feel jealous.
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Analyst89
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#13
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#13
You could volunteer, join social clubs based on your hobbies and also join meet up groups.

To help you with friends:

1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily.

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about the weather or did you see that sports game?

7) Be passionate about life.

8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

9) Look outside!
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Pichelin22
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I'm in the same situation as you and it's very painful I'm looking forward to meet people like you .
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Sophiee emma
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#15
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#15
Hey i just read ur comment im in same situationIm 24 i have a 4 year old son my mum died 4 years ago since then my 2 aunts (her sisters) dont bother with me my dad lives near me hes really poorly atm Friends wise thanks to my ex ive lost trust in everyone i loved and cared for... I suffer with anxiety and depression I work and look after my son Im trying to socialise but because whats happened within 4 years i struggle If u wanna talk u can messege me if ur on fb my name is Sophiee emma
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gothicangel521
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In the last six months, my life went from content to someone shoot me. I'm 35 year old female. Found out I was adopted on my Dad's death bed. After he died my entire family disowned me. I've slowly been learning people I thought were true friends are not. I had a few and they all ditched out after my sergury which has made it so I can barely walk and I'm in agonizing pain 24/7. Yes I'm lonely. I've developed what is called life depression, in other words life screwed me over. I just want someone to be there. But you learn in time if you have no money and your broken, no one wants you.
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notyourfriend1
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#17
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#17
Ok....
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Nanica
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#18
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Me too.
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Zeb40
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#19
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#19
I truly understand how you feel, I'm in the same boat as you are and it's hard to cope with. I came from a highly dysfunctional family with sociopath parents. I only came to realize this many years down the road when reality gradually sat in and their brainwashing somewhat subsided, although the mental scars remain. My parents belittled me throughout my childhood into adolescence which destroyed my self-esteem. Their horrid mental abuse was far worse than the physical abuse. I still struggle with this daily which continues to affect my life.
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AelinSardothein
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#20
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#20
any of y'all ppl can talk to me

i'll be your friends
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