He can't 'keep it up' during sex...

I was wondering if anyone else was experiencing this problem and what they did...

My boyfriend has trouble maintaining an erection during sex. He's fine if he's masturbating and we rarley ever have trouble during fourplay, but almost everytime we actualy have sex he starts to loose it either during intercourse or right before he enters.

I usually have to than arouse him even more so that he's hard enough to enter me. (sorry if this is all really visual, but its very frustrating). He just seems that he has this thing where its very easy for him to loose an erection if he is not constantly/fully/highly aroused...and even than sometimes he becomes very soft :frown:

Is it something I'm doing wrong? Or is it possible he has erectile dysfunction?

Q: How long can a man's penius remain erect before it MUST soften? I'm thinking that maybe we fool around too long and its something of a physical reaction that he goes soft?

Reply 1

silverbolt

19

i dont think theres a time limit on how long it can stay erect for.

It could be erectile dysfunction.

How has his upbringing been? has sex been taboo due to strict conservative or religious views. If it has then that could explain if hes been condtioned that sex is in some way wrong.

Reply 2

DodgyTrousers

7

Unless your foreplay is like 2 hours, it's not that he's erect for too long.

Some positions can make a man soften, as they don't provide as much stimulation (woman on top for example), but it sounds more like nerves, or possibly he has a medical problem.

I think it happens to everyone occasionally, especially after copious amounts of alcohol, but if it's happening a lot he might want to see a doctor.

He shouldn't be embarassed, it's not like the doctors haven't seen it before a hundred times.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Our position is usually missionary and we've tried doggy style, but he cant keep it up long enough and always becomes soft. So I dont think that's a problem...

Now the question is how do I bring this up to him....ughh. I've hinted at it before with him, but his response was 'No, I don't have erectile dysfunction' and he quickly changed the topic. I dont want to embares him or make him feel at all uncomfortable, but its starting to wear on our sex life.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

I was wondering if anyone else was experiencing this problem and what they did...

My boyfriend has trouble maintaining an erection during sex. He's fine if he's masturbating and we rarley ever have trouble during fourplay, but almost everytime we actualy have sex he starts to loose it either during intercourse or right before he enters.

I usually have to than arouse him even more so that he's hard enough to enter me. (sorry if this is all really visual, but its very frustrating). He just seems that he has this thing where its very easy for him to loose an erection if he is not constantly/fully/highly aroused...and even than sometimes he becomes very soft :frown:

Is it something I'm doing wrong? Or is it possible he has erectile dysfunction?

Q: How long can a man's penius remain erect before it MUST soften? I'm thinking that maybe we fool around too long and its something of a physical reaction that he goes soft?

Me and my bf are going through the same thing. I think it is nerves (he is a virgin). I do not know what to do either :frown:

Reply 5

Sausage

10

If hes feel bad about it too, maybe he should go to the doctor to see what they could offer him. Im pretty sure that lots of guys go through this so he has nothing to be imbarrassed about. As everyone else has said it could just be nerves?

Reply 6

MaryKay

8

My boyfriend has is complete opposite to this :eek:

Reply 7

Sausage

10

Connemara

My boyfriend has is complete opposite to this :eek:

So does mine.

Reply 8

meef cheese

10

Does he use condoms? Maybe they are too tight and restricting bloodflow. That could explain why it's only actual sex it happens with.

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

make sure he has no alcohol in his system! even 1 pint can affect performance!

Reply 10

The Hitchhiker

1

Anonymous

Me and my bf are going through the same thing. I think it is nerves (he is a virgin). I do not know what to do either :frown:

it's probably nerves more than anything.

Reply 11

lea164

it might be a psychological thing if it only happens before intercourse. He should see his GP who will be able to offer more help.

Reply 12

Flank Runner

cattle prong up his arse, that should get him going again,

if that doesnt work, talk to him, most of the time its psychological, very rarely its an actual physical problem, but have him go to docs just incase

Reply 13

naivesincerity

2

Maybe there just isn't much sexual chemistry between you. Can easily happen.

Reply 14

12345a

No, it's definitely psychological and it can be a vicious circle. Don't make it a big deal or have a big build up to it. Also he might not be as sensitive as some guys - if you're using condoms try Avanti ones as apparently they feel more natural.

Reply 15

JC.

19

Perhapse he's bored?
Try handcuffs. :biggrin:

Reply 16

Anonymous #4

I might be wrong and only speaking for myself but a bit of "stimulation" before penetration usually helps and I prefer some to be honest. It's difficult to be rock hard constantly.

Is this even the first time you have sex? because it's not that surprising that a guy finds it harder to maintain an erection the second, third...tenth time in a row, something that some girls don't realise :eek:

Nerves play a huge part in this and if a young guy is struggling a bit it's usually because of that and it's very unlikely that he has proper erectile dysfunction. He might be a bit uncomfortable with you. Have you suggested trying a position he prefers? (being in a position you don't really enjoy much doesn't help!) Are you pretty relaxed about sex when you're with him?

Reply 17

The Strangest Quark

It sounds like it's probably psychological. Unfortunately condoms tend to make this kind of problem worse, because firstly if he's not used to them, it is a weird/unfamiliar feeling, and secondly it's a definite sign that sex is about to happen, which if a chap is a little nervous, is likely to make him lose his nerve completely. The damn things are a bit necessary though :s-smilie:

.

Try to not worry too much about it, and more importantly, make sure HE doesn't worry too much about it as that will make things worse in a horrible vicious spiral. If condoms do seem to be part of the problem, maybe try sometimes putting them on him for oral sex or something, so they become less off-putting, and less of a sign to panic :wink:

.

Or, if you don't think it's related to nervousness at all... Cock ring, perhaps? Apparently they can work wonders, though admittedly I've not tried.

Reply 18

Anonymous #5

DodgyTrousers

Unless your foreplay is like 2 hours, it's not that he's erect for too long.

Heh, I have that problem sometimes... :redface:

Requires a 5 minute chill out before we carry on and have full sex.

It might just be 'one of those things', I definitely can't maintain an erection for a huge length of time like that, you just have to work out a way around it, and bear it in mind when you want to have sex. (IMO anyway...)

Reply 19

Dionysus

15

Don't take it as a reflection on you, it's fairly common. Maybe try a different size of condoms. They could be too tight.

He can't 'keep it up' during sex...

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