Relationships?

Please give me some advice, I am going through a divorce right now, after ten years, although it was far from a healthy relationship, and it has been a loveless one for some time.
The thing is recently I have been talking to a very dear friend of mine whom I have known for 20 years, we have so much in common, I never looked on him with anything but friendship, but now we are talking about going & out, just the same as we used to, thing is I cant take my eyes off him & think about him often, I don’t want to think I'm on the rebound because my marriage was over a long time before. What do think I should do?

Reply 1

em1n3m

Wait some time as to at least convince yourself that it's not just a rebound thing, so you wouldn't have to feel somewhat guilty if this went any further!

Reply 2

epitome

11

up ^

Reply 3

mikemortal

OP

Are you currently in a relationship, if so, how long? Are you happy? Do you think the person you are currently with is "the one"? If you're single, do you wish you were in a relationship, and if you are in a relationship, do you ever think about being singled again?

Reply 4

Vampyrcorn

14

Surely the only thing to do is to try to make a go of it with this new guy, but to also briefly go over the circumstances of the divorce mentioning that the marriage has been over for a long time and you aren't on the rebound?

I see no reason for you not to go out with this guy, and the only way for him to know you aren't rebounding and that you're taking the new relationship seriously is for you to tell him. I would imaging that if you just say something about your marriage having been over for a long time and that you've been ready for another relationship for a long time he would get what you mean. :smile:

And the questions:
I've been in a relationship for 10 months and i'm very happy.

Reply 5

mikemortal

OP

Vampyrcorn

Surely the only thing to do is to try to make a go of it with this new guy, but to also briefly go over the circumstances of the divorce mentioning that the marriage has been over for a long time and you aren't on the rebound?

I see no reason for you not to go out with this guy, and the only way for him to know you aren't rebounding and that you're taking the new relationship seriously is for you to tell him. I would imaging that if you just say something about your marriage having been over for a long time and that you've been ready for another relationship for a long time he would get what you mean. :smile:

And the questions:
I've been in a relationship for 10 months and i'm very happy.

What do you think the most important thing is in a relationship?

Reply 6

mikemortal

OP

mikemortal

Please give me some advice, I am going through a divorce right now, after ten years, although it was far from a healthy relationship, and it has been a loveless one for some time.
The thing is recently I have been talking to a very dear friend of mine whom I have known for 20 years, we have so much in common, I never looked on him with anything but friendship, but now we are talking about going & out, just the same as we used to, thing is I cant take my eyes off him & think about him often, I don’t want to think I'm on the rebound because my marriage was over a long time before. What do think I should do?

Thanks in advance.

Reply 7

guitargirl03

13

mikemortal

Are you currently in a relationship, if so, how long? Are you happy? Do you think the person you are currently with is "the one"? If you're single, do you wish you were in a relationship, and if you are in a relationship, do you ever think about being singled again?

I've been in my relationship for almost 6 months, but I've been friends with him for 7 years. I do think he's the one and no, I don't really want to be single again, well not at the moment anyway, as I get on very well with my boyfriend and we love each other very much.

Anyhows, in answer to the original post, why not try going out as friends, i.e. to the pub, etc. I would suggest taking things very slowly just to make sure it's not a re-bound thing... Good luck though! I hope it works out for you :smile:

Reply 8

mikemortal

OP

Thanks for your all replies.

Reply 9

mikemortal

OP

Nobody here to replay.

Reply 10

Meep!

9

mikemortal

Are you currently in a relationship, if so, how long? Are you happy? Do you think the person you are currently with is "the one"? If you're single, do you wish you were in a relationship, and if you are in a relationship, do you ever think about being singled again?

5 years.
Yes, very.
Yes, I do. At least, I hope so.
No, I would hate to be single again, I'm just one of those people whome singleness doesn't go well with. Can't really remember what singledom is like, anyway.

In answer to your original question, give it some time. There's no need to rush. It's not a good idea to rush into relationships as soon as your previous one goes down the pan, you'll find that even if it was a loveless marriage, there will have been some extent of interdependency, and you'll miss that.

Relationships?

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