March 15th : Have you ever felt like you couldn’t stay at home?

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    #1

    Have you ever felt like you couldn’t stay at home?

    On The Surgery this week we talk about the consequences of family breakdown, and what happens when you have to leave home but have nowhere to go.

    Is your home life getting impossible? Have you ever had to get out? Where do you go when you need a break?

    Please note: you can post on this forum anonymously.
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    Yes-being told that I'm stupid, and pathetic got too much at one point.
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    My home life was so terrible that I became suicidal when I was 11, almost went insane, and moved out at 17 to preserve my sanity. I live with other family now, but they are starting to get unbearable as well, so I am becoming suicidal and have had thoughts of running somewhere far away and coming back when they will all be able to be proud of me.
    #2

    I've actually wanted to move out of home since I was about 13 and never really come back. It's purely because I find my mum to be selfish and just a horrible person in general and the bad memories of her outweigh the good ones by a mile. I'm leaving home in September and I'm quite literally just planning to move in with my aunt temporarily and then leave for uni with my savings and student loan. Then hopefully get put down as an estranged student.
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    I get this feeling a lot, usually just go out for an evening walk and I feel better afterwards
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    It's Happened too many times, I would call my mums house home, it's where my siblings lives and it's where my mum lives... sadly I had to move out, it's not as much her fault and I didn't want to put her in a tough position so at the end of 2014 I left and went to my dads big, empty house. He's not home much but when he is, he's always being negative and rude, and a lot of the time I just can't take it so I leave before I'm expecting him to get back, I stay at a friends, go on a long walk or I quickly run up to bed, I've stormed off a few times while he's in but I know if I'm not in the mood to tolerate it, it's best to get out before he gets in. It's tough knowing you don't have somewhere to feel at home, whenever I go back to my mums it feels great but it doesn't take long to be reminded of why I left...

    There was a time I didn't feel like going to my friends house and I didn't want to stay at my mum or dads house so I just decided to go on a few trains until 4am, then sit in McDonald's till 7am before going back and getting ready for school... next time I'll just call my grandma.
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    Ngl there has been many times where I couldn't stand my mum. I've actually never left home, when I want space I just go to my room.
    This is partly why I really want to move out for uni, I thinking having some time away from home will be really good for my mental wellbeing.
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    Ha, this thread is so relevant to my life right now. When things become too much for me, I tend to start bunking off school and going to museums and galleries instead. Which really doesn't help my situation at school, but at least I'm become more educated in other aspects, right?
    #3

    - Parents got divorced
    - Very religious "YOU CANT DO XYZ" kind of family, so i live/and enjoy myself secretly (sneaking behind backs and lying)
    currently trying to study hard and make $ so i can leave at 19 because I'm sick of it and this isn't how i want to live life anymore

    even considering changing my name x
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    - Parents got divorced
    - Very religious "YOU CANT DO XYZ" kind of family, so i live/and enjoy myself secretly (sneaking behind backs and lying)
    currently trying to study hard and make $ so i can leave at 19 because I'm sick of it and this isn't how i want to live life anymore

    even considering changing my name x
    Same for the last bit x
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Same for the last bit x
    R u muslim? x
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    R u muslim? x
    No. I have a religious family though. Are you?x
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    My Advice...

    Walk away families are sold to us as the paragons of all virtue and those who should love us unconditionally...and the truth is in some cases that it isn't true.

    I left when i was 16 moved in with my Boyfriend i'm in my 20's now and haven't seen my parents or my siblings in 6+ years and couldn't be happier.

    I'm a Business Management Undergraduate with 3 Diploma's from my Local college under my belt trust me Families are more hassle than they're worth in some cases they don't even know where i live i changed my name also.

    Make your own life and create your own family.
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    Yes. I feel restrained, chained, exhausted and bored and wish to leave. When I go to university I want to gain independence and make a living for myself.
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    I'm glad that portion of my life is over.Time was I was DESPERATE to move out because circumstances were getting too much but thankfully as the years went by things improved. Try and ride it out, nothing bad lasts forever
    #4

    I know this won't be the worst thing in the world but a year and a half ago my cousins boyfriend moved in and I really can't stand him at all. He doesn't pay rent to stay here even though he has a contract written up with my aunt for £60 a week and he barely works. His mannerisms in general are disgusting and I know he won't be moving out/ being kicked out anytime soon because my aunt & uncle are too nice.
    It's got to the point where I'm actually going to live at uni for my first year even though it's only a 45 minute drive away because I can't stand being near/in the same house as him anymore and if he's not gone by the time I finish my first year I'll be staying for the second also
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    I really wish I could move out but I can't afford it and don't have anywhere to go.
    It's not that I have a terrible home situation- I just find living with my parents really de-motivating because they don't value or appreciate higher education like I do.
    #5

    I have felt as though I could not stay at home. I have never been able to leave and have a break but recently it has all changed. I have been put into foster care and me and my brother have been split up. It has only been a few weeks and it has already affected me at school and my GCSEs for this summer. However it always gets better. I have found this out and now i feel like i belong with my foster family. Trust me it is not all doom and gloom.
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    There were family conditions at home which made it impossible to live under a single roof with my parents. But strangely enough, I was leaving home when they were divorced.
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    (Original post by zayn008)
    It's Happened too many times, I would call my mums house home, it's where my siblings lives and it's where my mum lives... sadly I had to move out, it's not as much her fault and I didn't want to put her in a tough position so at the end of 2014 I left and went to my dads big, empty house. He's not home much but when he is, he's always being negative and rude, and a lot of the time I just can't take it so I leave before I'm expecting him to get back, I stay at a friends, go on a long walk or I quickly run up to bed, I've stormed off a few times while he's in but I know if I'm not in the mood to tolerate it, it's best to get out before he gets in. It's tough knowing you don't have somewhere to feel at home, whenever I go back to my mums it feels great but it doesn't take long to be reminded of why I left...

    There was a time I didn't feel like going to my friends house and I didn't want to stay at my mum or dads house so I just decided to go on a few trains until 4am, then sit in McDonald's till 7am before going back and getting ready for school... next time I'll just call my grandma.
    the last part broke my heart!
 
 
 
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