Need advice, what could I do? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
OK so I'm 20 years old and in my second year of uni. I have never been in a relationship, barely have any friends and am alone a lot of the time. One of my friends has been trying to help me find someone for a few months but everything I have tried has just failed. I am very introverted and shy and barely know what to say when I'm in a conversation with people I don't know. The only 2 people I have ever asked out have rejected me, my friend told me to join tinder to find someone and even though I got a lot of matches most of them amounted to nothing and the people I did meet up with made some excuse afterwards about not wanting anything to happen or just stopped talking completely.

More recently this has been getting me down and I feel quite low because it does just seem like I'm always going to be alone. I am just out of ideas. How else could I meet someone and what could I do about this?
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 2 years ago
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Stop being desperate and try enjoy your life. If you meet someone you meet someone. Don't force it. I can already tell it's having a mental effect on you. Stop giving a ****.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Stop being desperate and try enjoy your life. If you meet someone you meet someone. Don't force it. I can already tell it's having a mental effect on you. Stop giving a ****.
It's hard though when the friends I'm around are all in happy relationships and I'm on my own. I'm just sick of being alone it's getting be down. I just don't know what to do.
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's hard though when the friends I'm around are all in happy relationships and I'm on my own. I'm just sick of being alone it's getting be down. I just don't know what to do.
You aren't alone. You have friends and that's more than many people have, including myself for a long time in the past.

How do you know they're any happier in a relationship than not in one? Being in a relationship doesn't necessarily make you happier and can be more damaging if you don't find the right person.

People say it all the time for a reason; and that is to not rush into a relationship. Work on improving your own self before dating and don't try to force anything.

You also don't need to fit in with everyone around you. Just because they are in a relationship doesn't mean you also need to be in one.

If you genuinely want to be in a relationship then don't actively pursue just anyone. It comes across as desperate. Instead you could improve your social skills through mixing with people. You will make new friends, build connections and gain an idea of what qualities you like and dislike in a person.

Find the right person for you later than the wrong person now IMO.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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(Original post by I is you)
You aren't alone. You have friends and that's more than many people have, including myself for a long time in the past.

How do you know they're any happier in a relationship than not in one? Being in a relationship doesn't necessarily make you happier and can be more damaging if you don't find the right person.

People say it all the time for a reason; and that is to not rush into a relationship. Work on improving your own self before dating and don't try to force anything.

You also don't need to fit in with everyone around you. Just because they are in a relationship doesn't mean you also need to be in one.

If you genuinely want to be in a relationship then don't actively pursue just anyone. It comes across as desperate. Instead you could improve your social skills through mixing with people. You will make new friends, build connections and gain an idea of what qualities you like and dislike in a person.

Find the right person for you later than the wrong person now IMO.
I am alone because I barely see my friends, even my best friend because she got into a relationship a few months ago and now spends most of her time with her boyfriend. I know my friends are happier in a relationship because its practically all they talk about and you can just tell by seeing how they are when they are with their boyfriends/girlfriends.

I am not pursing just anyone. I have tried to improve my social skills by joining societies but it didn't work and I can't call anyone I've met at the societies a friend and even on my course I have no friends at all. There's only really one person I'll talk to often and that's dropped now since she's in a relationship.
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Report 2 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am alone because I barely see my friends, even my best friend because she got into a relationship a few months ago and now spends most of her time with her boyfriend. I know my friends are happier in a relationship because its practically all they talk about and you can just tell by seeing how they are when they are with their boyfriends/girlfriends.

I am not pursing just anyone. I have tried to improve my social skills by joining societies but it didn't work and I can't call anyone I've met at the societies a friend and even on my course I have no friends at all. There's only really one person I'll talk to often and that's dropped now since she's in a relationship.
I don't really know what to suggest. Did you join the societies because they interested you or because you were using them to look for friends?

I do often find that 'friends' have dropped me without hesitation when they complete a milestone of life. For example, many people wanted to know me in school and once they went to university they cut ties with me. I had served my purpose for them. True friends are hard to find IMO, and that's why I value the few true friends I do have.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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(Original post by I is you)
I don't really know what to suggest. Did you join the societies because they interested you or because you were using them to look for friends?

I do often find that 'friends' have dropped me without hesitation when they complete a milestone of life. For example, many people wanted to know me in school and once they went to university they cut ties with me. I had served my purpose for them. True friends are hard to find IMO, and that's why I value the few true friends I do have.
I joined them because I wanted to try something new and they seemed interesting.
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