Would this be a deal breaker for you?

I've been with my girlfriend for around 4 months and she has made it clear she doesn't want to give me head. For me, this isn't ideal but it's by no means the end of the world. I'm her first sexual partner so I live in the hope she'll be more open to it in the future once she becomes more comfortable with sex, but if she isn't I wouldn't kick up a fuss about it.
This made me think though - would this be a deal breaker for anybody else in a relationship?

Reply 1

Kevin De Bruyne

Original post by Anonymous

Not for me, as long as she's happy with other 'stuff'

Reply 2

Why doesn't she want to do it? Has she tried at least?

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by EC

Why doesn't she want to do it? Has she tried at least?

Some people dont want to risk sti's there is a link to hpv oral cancer and im a bit ocd with health. With a condom Id consider sure but guys seem to say its a lot less pleasurable

Reply 4

Kmb123

I'm a girl and it'd be a deal breaker for me, I'd expect any boy I'm with to both give and receive

Reply 5

unprinted

Personally, I can live without receiving oral. For me, the emotional side isn't as good as intercourse and the physical side isn't as good as a handjob. As you can see, various people vary.

Speaking of which..

Original post by Anonymous

Some people dont want to risk sti's there is a link to hpv oral cancer and im a bit ocd with health. With a condom Id consider sure but guys seem to say its a lot less pleasurable

Everyone has their own point on the risk-reward scale. In this case, there may be a HPV link with a few cases, but the reason you think there is mostly the companies behind the two HPV vaccines trying to sell more of their vaccines: they're behind the bulk of the published papers that appeared, gosh, just around the time of what were then the most expensive vaccines arrived on the market. The vast bulk of oral cancers are strongly linked to tobacco and alcohol - if you smoke or drink, stopping those will do you far more good.

People giving oral professionally, i.e. escorts, report no significant difference in overall demand whether it's with or without a condom. Some men want it without, some want it with, but it turns out that most don't care.

Reply 6

Devify

I'm a girl but no. I love giving head but I just feel a bit pressured when a guy goes down on me. I feel like I have to enjoy it and finish with him there. I do enjoy it but it's not that huge of a deal.

Reply 7

Erik28

Do you go down on her?

Give her time, I think she'll come around. Like you say, she may need to be relaxed and confident in herself. Or as she's never done it before she may be nervous. Make it clear you won't judge her and she has nothing to be afraid or worried about. If she's thinking about the pressure being all on her, how about 69 so then you're both involved?

She might surprise you one day

Reply 8

Youngjade300

Hi, When I first got with my boyfriend I had sex with him and for a while didn't want to give him a blowjob either. But after a while, I did. You just have to stop pressuring her and let her ease into it. It's a very intimate thing to do and especially if she hasn't done it before it could be a very weird and strange thing to her. I always told my boyfriend i'd never do it and he agreed with me.
I started wanting to give it though when one time we just happened to be kissing and I started sucking on his tongue. This gave him 'thoughts' and eventually it started to turn me on and I couldn't stop thinking of doing it. And then I did.
Just do a bit of tonsil tennis and then suck her tongue and see if she does it back. Idk :wink: