Do your parents make you pay rent?

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silverbolt
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#81
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#81
no its not inconcievable and it is the parents choice. If they want thier child to come then yes they can pay for it. However if it the child to want to come then why shouldnt the child pay if they have the mean?

There is a difference between "were taking you." and "can i come"
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joey11223
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#82
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#82
(Original post by quadruple_twist)
Oh complete balls, it costs max £60 a week to rent your own flat around here,
where the **** do you live lol, and I'm being serious I'm curious.

I'm in the midlands, not a rich area, and cheapest around here (not sharing as a student I assume) is probably £375 a month, I'd consider that cheap tbf. In fact as of now cheapest in this postcode is £417 and as I say, it ain't an expensive postcode, relatives brought a house a few roads away for around £80k or so.
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persephone_
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#83
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#83
Since I got Student Finance I've paid rent - £300 a month, which includes my contribution to bills and food costs as well, which is better than I could ever find if I left home, especially as I'm in London. Even if my mum could afford for me to sponge off her I would pay her rent. I'm an adult, and I'm not entitled to free housing/food regardless of who it's from. While I think asking your child for the same rate of rent they would pay a stranger for their room and their bills etc. if they had moved out is a bit harsh, I find it insane that anyone is comfortable letting their parents pay for their living when they're a legal adult. I couldn't have any self respect letting mummy and daddy keep paying all my living costs for me when I've got my own money to live on and I'm a legal adult.
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Emilymolly19
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#84
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#84
If you're in full time education or under 18 years old you should not pay rent
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ckingalt
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#85
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#85
Many good parents do not want to enable their adult children to be indefinitely dependent. Many good parents want to instill personal character in their children. Most parents who would require their adult children to pay rent, are doing it out an intention to foster appreciation and accountability. It is not about trying to exploit their children, or squeeze an extra buck out of them. Those who don't understand that, have pretty immature attitudes in my opinion.
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persephone_
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#86
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#86
(Original post by ckingalt)
Many good parents do not want to enable their adult children to be indefinitely dependent. Many good parents want to instill personal character in their children. Most parents who would require their adult children to pay rent, are doing it out an intention to foster appreciation and accountability. It is not about trying to exploit their children, or squeeze an extra buck out of them. Those who don't understand that, have pretty immature attitudes in my opinion.

Absolutely right imo. The consensus in this thread currently seems to be leaning towards "oh my god, parents expecting children to contribute to their own living once they are an adult with their own money?! How shocking and stingy!". I'm floored by the idea that someone SHOULDN'T contribute some proportional amount if they are an adult and can afford to, regardless of how much money whoever they're living with has. It's the principle for me.

When I asked my own mum about this she said "if I could afford for you to live here without contributing anything, I probably wouldn't ask you". That may be the reason for a lot of parents - especially single ones - asking, for one thing, but I would still pay her even if she could afford to comfortably pay for my living too, because in my mind your parents don't owe you -anything- once you're an adult capable of supporting yourself, and I have been lent money precisely for my living costs during my studies by the government. I take it as good practice for when I'm living out in the real world so to speak, and always understood from long before I even got into university that I as an adult would be financially contributing to the household as soon as I had my own money to. My older sister paid rent from the age of sixteen when she began full time work. I can't believe this seems to be such a strange or harsh idea to some people.
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P2PBushman
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#87
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#87
Most Asians/meds are staggered at the attitudes of UK/Aus parents. Pretty barbaric the way a lot of them turf their offspring on to the streets at 18.
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persephone_
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#88
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#88
(Original post by P2PBushman)
Most Asians/meds are staggered at the attitudes of UK/Aus parents. Pretty barbaric the way a lot of them turf their offspring on to the streets at 18.
What? Who do you know who has been thrown out with nowhere to go when they turned 18, unless there were other severe issues and tensions at home anyway? Of course, there are plenty of cultures where the whole family living together is much more of a priority/norm, and it is ridiculous to actively throw someone out the very second they're a legal adult, or when there is no reasonable likelihood of them being able to find and afford their own home, but I've yet to hear of anyone I even indirectly know being 'barbarically turfed out at 18'. Most have just been expected to pay their own way a bit more, and there's nothing at all wrong with that.
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Emilymolly19
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#89
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#89
I'm sorry but unless you're 25 and not actively looking for a job, your parents shouldn't ask for rent. If they can't afford to keep you they shouldn't have had you.
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persephone_
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#90
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#90
Funnily enough, circumstances change throughout the course of a child's life from birth to early adulthood, and you can't always predict that. I find it much more worrying that anyone expects their parents to pay their way for them if they have a job or other source of money to go towards their living costs than that there are people who cannot keep comfortably paying for two people to live in this economy.
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simplylldxo
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#91
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#91
Not rent exactly, but board yes. I usually pay her around £500 each student finance instalment. But I'm too soft, so I give her extra money if she's struggling.

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Emilymolly19
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#92
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#92
If there's a 16 year old with a part time job no parents should expect them to pay rent. Yes they can buy themselves clothes and other luxuries, but as a parent it is your duty to look after them.
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persephone_
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#93
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#93
Of course, a sixteen year old having a part time job is not something I would consider the same as, say, a nineteen year old getting student finance and possibly also wages from working part time, or being in full time work. I should have been clearer on that. But to me, your parents' actual duty to pay their way for you ends when you are a legal adult, and although I would agree that depending upon the situation it would just be a case of decency to help your child out or support them if they needed it (say, if they're studying full time and not getting any support from anywhere else), if someone is getting student finance or they're working full time, I would feel they were taking the mickey to then expect not to contribute to the cost of the food they're eating/electricity and water they're using/etc. and possibly some rent.
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A Rose for Epona
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#94
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#94
I'm so amazed how some parents make their children pay rent. If I offered to pay rent to my parents at any point in my life they would be very offended. Perhaps it is a cultural difference though (my parents are Middle Eastern).
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simplylldxo
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#95
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#95
(Original post by Ratach)
I'm so amazed how some parents make their children pay rent. If I offered to pay rent to my parents at any point in my life they would be very offended. Perhaps it is a cultural difference though (my parents are Middle Eastern).
I'm not a child though... Anyway, it's cheaper than moving out
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temi.h.o.
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#96
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#96
I done see anything wrong with it, if you're 18 or over and getting student finance why not contribute to your parents, they don't to pay your way because when you're 18 you're an adult so they don't actually need to pay your way, if they are asking you to contribute about £40 a week then that's fine. It's not barbaric or anything.
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k3ro
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#97
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#97
No. I never asked my parents for money, I paid for everything during uni myself without their help (they don't earn much). They're fine with me staying at home as long as I'm looking for jobs and not just lazing on the sofa every day.
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A Rose for Epona
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#98
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(Original post by simplylldxo)
I'm not a child though... Anyway, it's cheaper than moving out
It is commendable how some parents want to teach their children how to be more self-sufficient. It's just that if they let their children keep all their earnings to themselves they would save up faster and therefore be able to move out earlier than if they were paying rent. Charging them rent actually makes them more dependent on you in the long run.

That being said, if one's parents are already struggling and the child has some spare income, then it makes sense for him to make a contribution. Also even I may ask my child to pay rent if he/she is being a lazy ass, i.e. not going to uni or work.
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simplylldxo
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#99
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#99
(Original post by Ratach)
It is commendable how some parents want to teach their children how to be more self-sufficient. It's just that if they let their children keep all their earnings to themselves they would save up faster and therefore be able to move out earlier than if they were paying rent. Charging them rent actually makes them more dependent on you in the long run.

That being said, if one's parents are already struggling and the child has some spare income, then it makes sense for him to make a contribution. Also even I may ask my child to pay rent if he/she is being a lazy ass, i.e. not going to uni or work.
I've paid board since I was 16, even when I was on JSA.
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persephone_
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#100
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#100
(Original post by Ratach)
It's just that if they let their children keep all their earnings to themselves they would save up faster and therefore be able to move out earlier than if they were paying rent.
This is a really good point. Striking that balance is exactly why my parents only ever expected us to pay rent in some kind of proportion to what we have available to us - it meant we learned the principle of paying our own way, but we never pay more than we can afford to and still have a pretty good amount left to save or spend as we wish. I offered to pay my mum a little more just to help her out, and she refused. Neither of my parents would ever charge me what a room and board would cost privately for me to live with either of them, but in my family it has always been the biggest hard and fast rule that once you are an adult, you contribute what you can to your living, even if it means that you 'earn your keep' by doing most of the cleaning and running the household errands in the eventuality that you don't have anything to realistically contribute financially. I think that's why I find it so outrageous that any adult would expect their parents to pay for the things they're eating/using while they contribute nothing at all in return. Everybody pulling their own weight once they're able adults is just how it's always been in every generation in my family.
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