trust issues

anon as people I know use this site.

I've been seeing this guy for months, the flirting and becoming more than mates thing has been going on for over a year. We're now officially boyfriend/girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure i love him, and i know he feels the same, but I don't trust him.
I find it really hard to trust anyone because of some stuff that happened when I was younger. I basically think that though people might be being nice to me now, I feel like they're going to betray or hurt me.
I want to be able to trust him, but i keep thinking that maybe he doesn't really like me, or something like that. And this is preventing me telling people about our relationsp. I want to be open about the fact we're together but I keep thinking, what if he cheats or doesn't like me, and then I'll look like an idiot.
I don't know what to do. It's not his fault, i want to be able to trust him.
I feel like I won't be able to really love him if part of me is thinking "what if?"

And of course its not just him I want to be able to trust. i want to be able to trust my family and friends, espeshially my dad.

Reply 1

Cj-Tj

Um.. trust is a hard thing to "learn".

Give people chances, esp your close friends bf etc and if they are worth much then they will not let you down. You wont control if he cheats on you, but as long as your nice, and hes obvisouly into you, then he will be most likley be trustworthy.

Also, try being more self confident, beliveve in yourself, and this helps to make things easier.

Reply 2

xx-Samantha-xx

im not sure what advice to give you to be honest because i have the same problem thats why i dont have a boyfriend at the moment

i suppose as long as hes not give you any reason to not trust him then its possible that you could, it takes time but you'll get there

Reply 3

username47781

Well you done the first bit admitting you have a trust problem, now you need to tackle it because in a relationship you have to have trust otherwise it just don't work.

Reply 4

Rainygal

How about just letting your best friends know about your relationship if you;re not comfortable with everyone knowing. people won't think you're an idiot if you do from being in a relationship to not being in one, it happens to everyone at some point, don't worry, small steps eh? :hugs:

Reply 5

campbell87

With your lack of trust that can seriously effect your relationship with him and by constantly 'thinking' about driving him away you could end up doing just that. You need to try and let go a little of what has happened to you in your past otherwise it will constantly effect your life in this way. Have you ever spoke to anyone prefessional (councellor etc) about what happened to you? Sometimes discussing your problems can help find the solution

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

I don't trust people to get that close either. I don't EVER want to be so vulnerable to somebody... its like handing somebody a gun and expecting them never to threaten, or shoot you with it.

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