Do any other guys feel guilty about this? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
So here are a bunch of confessions I have to make. I am a bit sexist. I think, even if the girl is manifestly an evil *****, that they're somehow more vulnerable and/or less strong both emotionally and physically.

I'd never hit a girl. I've been punched in the face in the past, it didn't really hurt but was not pleasant either and I didn't fight back or anything nor would I under any circumstances. Probably take a weapon out of her hands if she had one but I wouldn't physically assault her.

I also generally help girls out more. There is a girl on my building who is pretty skinny and I've helped her a couple of times to move some stuff in (I'm not attracted to her or anything). Plenty of dudes I see carrying stuff but I don't get that urge. Again, not for anything sexual, I am not interested in most of those girls.

I've had girls who treated my guy friends pretty badly but I never had the urge to go up to them and be like "*****, IF YOU EVER HURT MY FRIEND LIKE THAT, I'LL RIP YOUR ****ING HEAD OFF".

But one of my best friends who's a gir, when her ex-bf cheated on her, she was crying over the phone and I really did feel like that. I went to confront him and he could've probably killed me (he was fairly large) if his sister wasn't there to tell him to chill out.

I don't know why I think like that, I know very well some girls are just ****ing insane psycho monsters but I still think of them as non-threatening, little things. I know it's demeaning and patronising but that's my confession.
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username1837067
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#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
It's your perspective. It's not really a perspective that's harming anyone in a serious way, but you should probably consider a few things logically and empirically to broaden that perspective.

There are a lot of women out there who can and have had to literally fight men off them - I can testament to that as I have done so successfully. There are also a lot of women who are incredibly skilled in martial arts and could readily take on men in that field. Obviously there are biological differences between men and women and much research suggests that naturally men are, for example, more physically forceful, but you have to view the situation with the nuance it deserves. A very strong woman who has honed her skills in martial arts could easily take down a less powerful man. Even for women without those skills in martial arts, it is still possible for a woman to take down a scrawnier male, as I have said, I can testament to it. By the way, I mean I was fighting him off as he was attacking me, not just doing it for the hell of it. I don't endorse violence unless in a martial arts environment or similar.

Emotionally, it simply isn't true that men are stronger than women. It is an interesting question but I always come to the conclusion that it is also a void question. Let's depart from the idea that we have notions, constructs, of gender very deeply engrained within us, these notions of what makes us man, or what makes us woman have constantly been reinforced since we were born. Within society we have, unfortunately, been essentially instructed to perform very specific and different roles, given instructions to have certain kinds of experiences. Of course we can revolt against that and question those roles construct new notions of gender, which is increasingly happening now, but still, unfortunately, various set-in-stone ideas of the 'female' and 'masculine' experience persist. There is absolutely no way you can measure up the emotional experience of being male with the emotional experience of being female.

For example, in many societies, male emotion is suppressed, men feel they have to play out the 'strong male' who isn't 'sissy', which many gender psychologists link to the strong rate of severe depression that is seen in males when they can't live up to that, and all the emotion they have bottled up inside, or drunk away, comes back to haunt them. One saying I like is: when the container is full, the container needs to be emptied. Men might do that through aggression, or they might turn in on themselves through depression, if they haven't been allowed to acknowledge the fact that they too are vulnerable, and that's okay, that's part of being human. I do firmly believe that men experience as broad a spectrum of emotions too and are equally vulnerable. We just don't recognise men as emotional and vulnerable beings as much, which personally I find highly damaging and unhealthy. The notion of the 'strong man' vs 'emotionally vulnerable' woman is just one of another negative stereotypes that needs to be addressed.

Though it is, as I said, very difficult to weigh up the two currently socially distinct ideas of female emotional experience versus male emotional experience, I'd say it's definitely not the case that women are more vulnerable than men.
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YaliaV
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#3
Report 1 year ago
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I think we are taught to view women as harmless creatures and men as potential abusers. Women are much more likely to be emotionally abusive and manipulative in my experience and they are better at it. If a woman hits a man,the vast majority of the time the man will not go to the police, even if the attack was quite brutal. Excuses will probably be made for the woman by society - she was provoked by the man, she was in a difficult place etc. If a man lays a finger on a woman, then he's demonised forever.
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Danny the Geezer
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#4
Report 1 year ago
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You're a nice guy and you WILL finish last.
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