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The "league" system

I'm sure everybody has heard of somebody saying "X is out of Y's league" or "he/she is out of my league" and this has led to my friends and I debating the subject of "leagues" as a whole. Basically there were quite a few disagreements and I would really appreciate it if people here would give their opinions about a few related issues.

Firstly do you believe that the system actually exists? This is obviously fundamental and I was quite suprised to learn some of my friends completely rejected the concept

Secondly what is it that actually defines leagues? Is it personality, looks or a combination of both? Even money was mentioned in our discussion :eek:

Also how rigid is the system? Does the fact that someone is rated in a league higher than you by most people deter you from even approaching them?

I would REALLY appreciate some of your perspectives on this issue as I had always thought that most people thought the same way as me but obviously not. :confused:

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Reply 1

generalebriety

No, I don't believe it exists outside people's heads. Some really attractive people will go for really ugly people.

Reply 2

Rainygal

I think that it exists too, but also think that people who are intimidated by other's looks/personality etc use it to hide behind sometimes as ot givesthem an excuse not to approach them

Reply 3

emzay

I think it exists too. I think it exists first on the basis of looks, so if you're at a party or in the street or something you decide right away whether they're "in your league". However, if you get to know them as friends first, then factors such as their personality and stuff come into it too. And I do think it stops people from approaching others.

Reply 4

Tyler Durden

There is nothing written in concrete about leagues. But of course there are elements of truth to the concept.

When people say "X is out of my league" (for example) they don't mean anything very specific by it; it's generally a quick way of saying that the chances of rejection outweigh the potential for success by a fairly hefty margin.

It's defeatist (and thus stupid). But... especially for girls (sorry, but it's true)... it's also often quite realistic. As has been frequently observed on these forums, it is fairly common to see an average looking guy with a stunning girl, but very rare to find an ugly girl with a good looking bloke. That said, most relationships seem to be between people fairly evenly matched in the looks department.

Me, personally, I like attractive girls. And the first thing that's gonna attract me to a girl is her looks (unless I happen to meet a writer I really like or something similar). Given that, I am gonna approach attractive girls and talk to them. Then if the girl is also attractive in terms of her manner and is interesting and we can hold a proper conversation I would try to take things further. The fact of the matter is that if I walked into a bar and saw Angelina Jolie I would try to hit on her (of course I'd make sure Brad was busy looking after the lil Cambodian kiddies because he'd totally give me a run for my money in a fight! :p:

). Now, she is "out of my league" - she is wealthy, stunning, famous, could have any guy in the world, married to someone considered to be the hottest bloke around, etc etc. But I would still do it. So there you go - leagues might 'exist' but they don't really matter (so to all intents and purposes they don't exist).

I think people (especially guys) will be happier if they act as though there are no leagues.

Reply 5

envious

generalebriety

No, I don't believe it exists outside people's heads. Some really attractive people will go for really ugly people.

But I always find that this is very rare and that it is much more common to see people of similar attractiveness levels with each other.

Reply 6

Boo_2

Ugh - its such total bull****!! The two guys I have been in relationships with both used words to that effect to say I'm out of their league... "I'm shooting way beyond my court" etc and it made me annoyed that they would even think such a thing... it suggested that I thought I was better than them, beyond them etc which made me look like I was vain, up myself whatever when in fact I was just as daunted as they were. Ugh I'm not putting myself across very well here but the whole thing just BUGS me!!

Reply 7

gbduo

I think it exists, but to a much greater extent at school than at uni and in life...

Reply 8

generalebriety

envious

But I always find that this is very rare and that it is much more common to see people of similar attractiveness levels with each other.

Yeah - it exists in people's heads, which causes people to act as if it exists, which produces results similar to as if it did exist. But it doesn't. Let's look at it statistically: if the average "attractive" girl doesn't fancy the average "ugly" guy, then the average "ugly" girl won't either; people's tastes don't change because of their own appearance. Everyone just thinks they do, which produces these results.

Reply 9

Tyler Durden

envious

But I always find that this is very rare and that it is much more common to see people of similar attractiveness levels with each other.

You know what, I was speaking to one of my female friends (who for the record is stupidly beautiful, intelligent and self-aware) the other day and she said something that surprised me big time. To paraphrase:

Her: I would be more receptive to being chatted up by an average looking guy than by a really beautiful man.

Me: Whaaat? :confused:

Yeah right!

Her: Seriously. The hot guy is more likely to want to sleep around and make me another notch on his bed post. The average looking guy will, of course, have to make me laugh and be confident and hold himself well... but I am more likely to give a guy like that the time of day.

Me: So two guys, one HOT and one average, approach you with identical mannerisms and conversation and you'd be more receptive to the average one?

Her: Yep, essentially.

Me: Ok, but you'll quite often talk with your friends about so and so (a guy) being so beautiful... what's that about?

Her: There's a big difference between finding a man beautiful and finding him attractive.

Me: So stunning good looks will almost be a detriment to a guy trying to get with you?

Her: Yes.

I was gobsmacked. But then, thinking about it it actually begins to make sense. It's unfair on (us! :biggrin:

) seriously good looking blokes... but hey!

So, there ya go!

Reply 10

Pixie_256

they do exist but only as an excuse not to be rejected or to hide someone's insecurities :rolleyes:

Reply 11

Psychos

I think something like it exists but not a league system because over time I've seen a lot of relationships form with people who, from an outside perspective, people would never have considered to be in the same league at all.

Its hard to say what it is though...

Reply 12

Innuendo_anonymous

This is a really good thread idea.
I've been wondering about this for some time.

Personally. I think the "system" exists but it takes on different forms, probably because different groups of friends. But i think the three main forms are:

A. League table (Number1, number2, number3...)

B. Casual table (Where you and your friends will have like one person that you all find number1-ish, and then if you see someone you like you'd say something like "Is she hotter than 'number1'?" and rate it like that)

and

C. Comparison table (You ask a friend whether or not you stand a chance with _______ and ask how high they are out of 10. Then ask them whether you stand a chance with them and what they think you probably are out of 10)

There'll probably be a few other league styles but these are the two i know of lol. And like the OP, some of my friends dont believe there is league sytem sort of thing.

As for what defines a league. I'd say it is initially bad on looks but after someone has been on the league for a while (say number1 has been at that position for a few weeks/months or longer) and then you found out that they were a complete jackass/bit*h. They would then probably go down in the league in correspondance to how much of a jackass/bit*h they were.

I don't really use a league system and just ask a mate whether they think i stand a chance with whoever i like.

I'll probably add to this reply later, just feel a bit tired atm lol.

Reply 13

la fille danse

I have no idea what "league" I'm in so, no, I don't follow the "system."

Reply 14

Saffie

Sehnsucht

I was gobsmacked. But then, thinking about it it actually begins to make sense. It's unfair on (us! :biggrin:

) seriously good looking blokes... but hey!

So, there ya go!

yeah i agree with her. sometimes it's a tough call but you have to choose the slightly less 'beautiful' guy because they're more likely to take you seriously.

I think the idea of leagues is put into practise a lot, sometimes too much. But then I remember really beautiful guys are tossers, and all's well :biggrin:

Reply 15

envious

Sehnsucht

I was gobsmacked. But then, thinking about it it actually begins to make sense. It's unfair on (us! :biggrin:

) seriously good looking blokes... but hey!

Thanks Sehnsucht that was very insightful and yes I guess it does make some sense although (and I don't mean to be a complete cynic :redface:

) I do wonder whether she would actually choose the more average guy in reality. I mean I can totally see how a more average guy with an amazing personality could be far superior to a dull beautiful guy but still if they both shared the same personality and had the same chat up lines/charisma why would you choose the less goodlooking person? Perhaps she has had bad experiences with goodlooking people before and thus her "leagues" differ from conventional leagues. Argh this whole system is VERY complicated and confusing :confused:

.

By the way thanks to everyone who has replied so far :tsr2:

(Innuendo anonymous your theories sound really interesting, I hope you do go on to expand them further)

Reply 16

kyletms

heres a question:
what league do you believe you're in?
lets use football as a measure - premier league is beautiful going down to championship, league 1, league 2 and conference being absolutley pug ugly