Hey everyone,
I'm pretty ashamed to write this, but here it goes - I think I am not a shallow person in any other way but this, but this is my one dealbreaker when it comes to the appearance of guys I date:
I, personally, cannot stand it when a guy that I'm dating puts on a lot of weight from when I first met him (with the exception of there being a medical reason of course). I wish this wasn't the case, but I physically find I cannot be attracted to him anymore when he becomes overweight. It's a personal thing which I just can't overcome, however much I've tried to.
I've started dating this wonderful, wonderful person, but he used to be overweight (he was thin during school and at the beginning of uni, but apparently packed it on during university, which he openly told me). He recently lost a lot of weight and I met him after he lost it, but now very recently he's started to put it back on. He's assured me multiple times that he is focused on staying in shape and doesn't want to go back to being overweight again, but his actions don't seem to be following up on his words. He doesn't seem to go to the gym ever, and he eats relatively unhealthily as far as I can see. I've also insinuated multiple times that a guy being overweight is unfortunately a dealbreaker in terms of attraction for me, so he is aware of that fact.
My ex and I broke up for a multitude of reasons, but one small reason was that he had become overweight and had basically proven to me that he didn't have the motivation to lose it at all, I basically had to bully him into exercising, and so I just couldn't be physically attracted to him anymore. I'm terrified that this wonderful guy I'm now dating will go the same way, and basically destroy my initial attraction to him.
Should I let him know more firmly that I cannot be in a relationship with someone who can't take care of their body? Has anyone got any ideas about what to do in this situation?
Thank you so much, any answers greatly appreciated!