Feeling very homesick

Hi,
First off i've been diagnosed with aspergers which i think is important in the way i'm feeling.

I just feel lonely most of the time, even when i'm in a crowd i can often feel lonely and end up not being able to hold an interesting convo with someone and then the awkard silence etc... I also just feel sad and depressed a lot of the time, I miss home, I don't feel like i'm fully settling in which prompts other questions such as if i cant survive at uni how will I survive in the real world etc, which then leads on to, whats the point and i'm ashamed to say it but sometimes i can feel slightly suicidal because of it all, which isn't something i'm used to.
I just don't know what to do, I struggle to chat to people, unless i'm drunk, and just feel isolated and homesick.

I just feel like if I can't get over these feelings i'm not gonna be able to stay at uni for long, which won't go down with my family very well.

:frown:

Reply 1

nanananabatman

How long have you been at uni? Not everyone settles in immediately, it takes time, the contrast from home life to uni life can be very very sharp and affects everyone in different ways.

I know you've got Aspergers but you aren't the only one who's feeling rather unsettled and I hope that somehow comforts you that others may also be feeling the way you're feeling.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

its my 4th day today, i've had it on and off the past few days and it tends to come on at night i feel much better during the day. I feel like a right idiot if/when i start crying, I hate it.

Reply 3

nanananabatman

It's good to cry, even if you hate it. It lets out how you're feeling. If it's at night, is it because during the day you've got things to do that keep you busy? How has it been interacting with your hallmates? Perhaps you guys should do something together in the evening, stop you from thinking about how much you miss home and everything's so different. I don't know if you're a guy or a girl - you don't have to say - but it wouldn't be stupid to knock on someone's door in your halls and ask if they fancied a chat as it felt a bit quiet. They're probably wanting to do the same thing too but can't.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Well in the day i dont have an awful lot to do, but somehow the dynamic feels a bit different at night. I get on ok with all of my housemates, but I still for some reason start feeling sad in the evenings/nights. It's a mix of emotions though, I felt so proud walking to my intro lecture the other day, and walking around teh busy part of the uni in the day as i'm proud to be a student. It's just the social side of things which i'm not good at. Also I find it easier to chat to guys than girls (i'm a guy) which while i've met some nice guys, it just makes me even less successful with girls :frown:

I don't really want anyones sympothy in a way, someone asked me if i was ok cause I looked a bit distant perhaps and I said "yeh fine". I also havn't told my dad how I feel. In fact theres only one guy i've told and that guy is an online friend who i've never met (although known for years and years)!

Reply 5

Double Agent

I can really understand how you feel, lots of my family have it. Have you let your housemates know? If they understood what it is and why you may find it harder at times they find easier it might help. It really helps to let it out and tell people how youre feeling. I think you've done really well getting into uni and making the effort to be sociable, so keep it up, it will gradually get easier. Have a few questions/ topics lined upo to talk about with people, then theres not so much pressure on thinking things to say. I also suggest getting onto amazon and buying a couple of books. 1. Overcoming social anxiety and shyness. 2. How to talk to anyone. These have good techniques on how people think, what to dom in those awkward silences, changing how you think to make socail situations easier because i think it would help if you had a few 'rules' to follow, a way of doing things so you feel more in control. Could you speak to your family? I dont knoiw what your situation is but it would be good to let them know.

Reply 6

philgw

Don't worry, lots of people go through this. I got it at first but it's starting to go, and talking to some second years last night quite a few agreed that freshers week is unnatural and weird feeling, and that they'd been homesick and lonely at times. It's normal and hopefully will pass as we get more used to life at uni :smile: