The Student Room Group

Friends walking all over you?

I was wondering how many people have experienced this? What you would class as walking all over someone? Please keep this anon because it mentions a person I know.
I think I am experiencing something similar, it isn't a hugggee thing, and I'm not even angry, just slightly annoyed. A few months ago I started up a class in my free time, it is on my own rather than a group. It took quite a bit of organising, etc. One of my friends, who isn't one of my close friends, but is more than an acqaintence, wanted to do it with me so I said okay, because I thought, even though I like doing it on my own, we get along, so it shouldnt be a problem. The thing that's annoying me is that she hasn't thanked me once for letting her come with me. All she does is just turn up. It seems quite rude. Usually when people do me a favour I make some kind of effort to show thanks, but it seems she is doing the complete opposite.
This is sooo not a big deal, but I just wondered if I should be annoyed or not and if there's anything I can do about it.
Reply 1
I too have had people walk all over me - we all know the type - those who ask favours repeatedly without thanking you or doing anything in return, those who cancel on you at the last minute again and again. I don't really have any advice because it seems to happen to me a lot but perhaps you could mention something to her in an off hand manner whilst not making a big deal of it or tell her something another friend did for you and remark how nice it is when people do things for you and that you would do anything for anyone as long as they were grateful etc
Reply 2
Just do the same to her when the opportunity arises. That usually gets the point across wonderfully :smile:
Reply 3
When I was younger and far more naive I had someone who I believed to be a very good mate cancel on me at the last minute etc quite a lot. I soon got sick of that and nowadays if people treat me like that I do the exact same thing in return, and if they have a problem they can take it up with me. So don't just sit back and take people walking all over you, it's not a good way to be in my opinion.
They might not mean to be rude, they might just be really absent-minded.
Reply 5
Just do the same to her when the opportunity arises. That usually gets the point across wonderfully :smile:

well put. sometimes, two wrongs do make a right. it's fun getting them back, you feel this huge weight being lifted off your shoulders and you find you can breathe easier.
I dont know if you would classify this as being walked over, but I have a friend who would consistantly break off arrangements often at the last minute, and always with lame excuses, make promises she never intended to keep, generally mess me around, and tell me lies. She stooped so low as to say things like 'I just found out my dog has cancer' 'I cant come out my dad has been rushed to hospital' and she would never mention them again.
She lied so much infact that she often forgot what she had lied about and denied all knowledge of it as if I were the stupid one and I had imagined it all :rolleyes:
Like she would tell me she had got a new job, and was starting the next wednesday, and then Id get a text saying 'do you want to go out' and Id be like 'Arnt you starting your new job today' and shed reply like 'no, I dont have a new job? what are you on about' Just an attention seeking psycho basically.
A couple of weeks ago it all came to a head and I broke off all contact with her and have ignored her ever since. Cant be botheres for her crap anymore:smile:
I dont think it was necessarily being walked over though as I was always well aware of what was happening and took anything she said with a pinch of salt.

I dont think the situation you describe is being walked over though, she asked if she could come with you and you said it was ok. Perhaps a thanks would have been nice, but I dont personally think its the kind of thing that you should be annoyed about, even if only slightly. Friends help each other out, please and thank you isnt always required although is often appreciated :smile:
Reply 7
Friends help each other out, please and thank you isnt always required although is often appreciated :smile:

I agree, but as I said, we aren't close, and we are still 'polite' to each other.
If she was one of my close/best friends I would be fine with no thank-you but she's not.
Reply 8
Next time she asks a favour say no, or make an excuse, taking you for a ride once, fool on her, twice, fool on you!