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Please can I have your opinion on this boyfriend situation... watch

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    Ok, so last night my boyfriend was out at a band practise and I had said to him that I was going to try and meet up with a friend- see who was free etc...
    Anyway, turns out that my friend of about 3 years (a bloke) was free and it was nearly his birthday so i took his present over and then we went out for a drink and had a chat cos i hadn't seen him for about 7 months. I texted my bf to tell him this, no reply. Got home about 10.45 and texted him to say i was home and that i loved him, hope he had a good night etc....

    He then sent me a text saying " yeah whatever. i hope you had a nice drink with your man friend."
    i tried to phone him but he wouldn't answer then he turned his phone off. I left a message asking him to call me. He phoned me and said that i had really upset him and that i shouldn't be going for drinks with other men. He reacted as if i had cheated on him. I apologised for upsetting him and he hung up. I phoned him back and apologised again and we had a little talk which consisted of him making me feel really guilty by saying its not the done thing, I've let him down etc..that i didn't care about him.
    Then he sent me another message saying " get stuffed. how can you 'love me' so much and at the same time sod off 2 the pub with some loser who is blatantly gagging for it"

    He says he doesn't want to see me today but i think i will go round later to try and sort it out.

    Also put into the equation that he refuses to come out with any of my friends, and my bloke friend who i saw last night doesn't speak to any of my other friends.

    Opinions plesase, is my bf overreacting or not??

    Ruthie xx
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    Ok, so last night my boyfriend was out at a band practise and I had said to him that I was going to try and meet up with a friend- see who was free etc...
    Anyway, turns out that my friend of about 3 years (a bloke) was free and it was nearly his birthday so i took his present over and then we went out for a drink and had a chat cos i hadn't seen him for about 7 months. I texted my bf to tell him this, no reply. Got home about 10.45 and texted him to say i was home and that i loved him, hope he had a good night etc....

    He then sent me a text saying " yeah whatever. i hope you had a nice drink with your man friend."
    i tried to phone him but he wouldn't answer then he turned his phone off. I left a message asking him to call me. He phoned me and said that i had really upset him and that i shouldn't be going for drinks with other men. He reacted as if i had cheated on him. I apologised for upsetting him and he hung up. I phoned him back and apologised again and we had a little talk which consisted of him making me feel really guilty by saying its not the done thing, I've let him down etc..that i didn't care about him.
    Then he sent me another message saying " get stuffed. how can you 'love me' so much and at the same time sod off 2 the pub with some loser who is blatantly gagging for it"

    He says he doesn't want to see me today but i think i will go round later to try and sort it out.

    Also put into the equation that he refuses to come out with any of my friends, and my bloke friend who i saw last night doesn't speak to any of my other friends.

    Opinions plesase, is my bf overreacting or not??



    Ruthie xx
    he's overreacting majorly. perhaps he's jealous because he doesn't have many female friends who he can be like this with? in any case it's a case of insecurity. tell him to wake up and smell the coffee
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    (Original post by priya)
    he's overreacting majorly. perhaps he's jealous because he doesn't have many female friends who he can be like this with? in any case it's a case of insecurity. tell him to wake up and smell the coffee
    he went on about how would i like it if he did the same thing....

    well firstly, I would be happy to go out with him and his friends, he just doesn't like me to. And also, if it was someone he hadn't seen for ages I would trust him and i may say to him that i was unconfortable with it but i would be his choice- he thinks that it would upset me too.

    How else am i supposed to keep in contact with my friend though, as my bf won't come out with me, and my friend has fallen out with my other friends so can't go out in a group. Also have met up with him on a sunday afternoon for a drink b4 and my bf knew and was fine with it- he now says he doesn't remember that.....

    What should i do?
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    Sorry to say it be he sounds like a bit of a ******.....maybe this other guys better?
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    (Original post by [email protected])
    Sorry to say it be he sounds like a bit of a ******.....maybe this other guys better?
    the other guy is just a friend and is interested in someone else and i could never see him like that...
    i have been with my bf for 4.5 years.....
    my bf said to me that if i asked anyone, they would say it was inappropriate..... :confused:
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    I can understand how he feels slightly but he is bein a complete tool
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    he went on about how would i like it if he did the same thing....

    well firstly, I would be happy to go out with him and his friends, he just doesn't like me to. And also, if it was someone he hadn't seen for ages I would trust him and i may say to him that i was unconfortable with it but i would be his choice- he thinks that it would upset me too.

    How else am i supposed to keep in contact with my friend though, as my bf won't come out with me, and my friend has fallen out with my other friends so can't go out in a group. Also have met up with him on a sunday afternoon for a drink b4 and my bf knew and was fine with it- he now says he doesn't remember that.....

    What should i do?
    make your boyfriend come out to meet your male friend, make him see there's nothing to be worried about? if he refuses to then it's his loss, he should hvae trust in you though. if he was meeting up with a female friend you would have compete trust in him
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    i might react the same as ur bf... u shud have asked im about this before u went so none of this would have happened...
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    Ok, so last night my boyfriend was out at a band practise and I had said to him that I was going to try and meet up with a friend- see who was free etc...
    Anyway, turns out that my friend of about 3 years (a bloke) was free and it was nearly his birthday so i took his present over and then we went out for a drink and had a chat cos i hadn't seen him for about 7 months. I texted my bf to tell him this, no reply. Got home about 10.45 and texted him to say i was home and that i loved him, hope he had a good night etc....

    He then sent me a text saying " yeah whatever. i hope you had a nice drink with your man friend."
    i tried to phone him but he wouldn't answer then he turned his phone off. I left a message asking him to call me. He phoned me and said that i had really upset him and that i shouldn't be going for drinks with other men. He reacted as if i had cheated on him. I apologised for upsetting him and he hung up. I phoned him back and apologised again and we had a little talk which consisted of him making me feel really guilty by saying its not the done thing, I've let him down etc..that i didn't care about him.
    Then he sent me another message saying " get stuffed. how can you 'love me' so much and at the same time sod off 2 the pub with some loser who is blatantly gagging for it"

    He says he doesn't want to see me today but i think i will go round later to try and sort it out.

    Also put into the equation that he refuses to come out with any of my friends, and my bloke friend who i saw last night doesn't speak to any of my other friends.

    Opinions plesase, is my bf overreacting or not??

    Ruthie xx
    woah, just a tad. But it must mean he really cares for you.
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    the other guy is just a friend and is interested in someone else and i could never see him like that...
    i have been with my bf for 4.5 years.....
    my bf said to me that if i asked anyone, they would say it was inappropriate..... :confused:
    I think it is a bit inappropriate. However, I have never had a relationship in my life. I would be upset about it if I didn't know the guy. But I suppose I would trust 'my gf' to behave.
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    (Original post by priya)
    make your boyfriend come out to meet your male friend, make him see there's nothing to be worried about? if he refuses to then it's his loss, he should hvae trust in you though. if he was meeting up with a female friend you would have compete trust in him
    he won't meet my friend....
    but should i be apologising to him??
    i apologised for upsetting him last night.

    ok- so it bothered him. fair enough. Wouldn't it have been better to say- "it made me uncomfortable so in future could you try to just meet up in a group" and i would say "thats fine- i'm sorry it made you uncomfortable" but he has made it into a HUGE deal......
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    He is being an idiot. You have to tell him that it is your right t have friends and if he has a problem with that then he has to sort it out, not you.

    MB
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    (Original post by IntegralNeo)
    i might react the same as ur bf... u shud have asked im about this before u went so none of this would have happened...
    but i have met up with my friend b4 and my bf knew and he was fine- but now he says he doesn't remember that time...

    how else am i supposed to stay in contact with my friend?
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    he won't meet my friend....
    but should i be apologising to him??
    i apologised for upsetting him last night.

    ok- so it bothered him. fair enough. Wouldn't it have been better to say- "it made me uncomfortable so in future could you try to just meet up in a group" and i would say "thats fine- i'm sorry it made you uncomfortable" but he has made it into a HUGE deal......
    No, you shouldn't have to apologise for meeting a friend.

    MB
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    Your boyfriend obviously doesn't believe in "just good friends". He's over-reacting slightly but I can see his point. If this other guy is just a mate why can't you all go out together? Why do you wait until your bf can't be there and then go out on your own with another blokie? It would've been better if you and you bf had had the conversation about it before you went out with the other guy.

    It can be sorted out but you both have to make an effort. I had this when my bf was still friends with his ex - she had some family probs that only he knew about, and he still wanted to be there for her. I hated this because I wasn't included. Even though I totally trusted him I didn't trust her and had no way of knowing what they were talking about. So we've had many discussions and arguements about it! I've explained how it makes me feel, he's explained how unattractive jealousy is (!) and now we've both just let it go. It did take a while though. I can see your bf's point of view but he should try to discuss it with you and tell you why he's pd off, rather than just going in a mard.
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    Hes a loser, ditch him.
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    I may have reacted a bit like your bf. But if it was the other way round, I'd see it as perfectly ok... I guess I'm a total hypocrite...
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    (Original post by SciFi25)
    I think it is a bit inappropriate. However, I have never had a relationship in my life. I would be upset about it if I didn't know the guy. But I suppose I would trust 'my gf' to behave.
    we have been going out for 4.5 years so surely he should know that i wouldn't cheat on him- or even think about it...
    surely i wouldn't have told him about it if it was dodgy???
    i have told him that in future i won't meet up with a bloke on their own, but try and organise a group outing and have apologised for upsetting him, what more can i do? i can't undo the drink with my friend
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    (Original post by Amb1)
    Your boyfriend obviously doesn't believe in "just good friends". He's over-reacting slightly but I can see his point. If this other guy is just a mate why can't you all go out together? Why do you wait until your bf can't be there and then go out on your own with another blokie? It would've been better if you and you bf had had the conversation about it before you went out with the other guy.

    It can be sorted out but you both have to make an effort. I had this when my bf was still friends with his ex - she had some family probs that only he knew about, and he still wanted to be there for her. I hated this because I wasn't included. Even though I totally trusted him I didn't trust her and had no way of knowing what they were talking about. So we've had many discussions and arguements about it! I've explained how it makes me feel, he's explained how unattractive jealousy is (!) and now we've both just let it go. It did take a while though. I can see your bf's point of view but he should try to discuss it with you and tell you why he's pd off, rather than just going in a mard.
    i would prefer it if my bf was there- but he refuses to come out with me and my friends, any of them, and doesn't like me coming out with his- thats the only reason it was when he wasn't free- cos thats the agreement that we have, we will see our friends when the other is busy so when we are both free we can spend time together
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    he refuses to come out with me and my friends, any of them, and doesn't like me coming out with his
    You need to tell him that this is horrible for you.

    MB
 
 
 
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