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    Please can I get some advice on this situation.

    My best friend gets her results tomorrow and wants a load of us to meet up to celebrate with her.

    The people who are going are her bf, her 3 times x, me and a mate from work who knows her through gigs the three of us have attended.

    The trouble is that i cant stand being with her and her bf. On their own they are great but together as they get drunker they get more and more affectionate and I cannot stand public affection between couples. It is this i have a problem with.

    I fell for this girl really badly last summer. They then got together because of me and I have resented it since. When ever we are out as a group which is not too often and when we are 1 on 1 they always seem to be rubbing the fact they are happy in my face. It made me feel really upset and consequently did not help in the fact that i became depressed, self harmed and suicidal (not just because of this) earlier this year.

    Recently it has not been getting me upset as i have got over the girl but it has instead started to sour my relationship with both of them because they refuse to stop rubbing it in my face. They claim they are not doing anything wrong.

    Am I over reacting? Is it because as she says that I cant understand their situation because of the fact I have never had a relationship.
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    [QUOTE=SciFi25]Please can I get some advice on this situation.

    aw hunny! havnt you got another group to go out with or maybe you could concentrate o nthe other people wh oare out with you? maybe you are just paronid coz you liked this girl and everything that they do you assume they are doing on purpose? just concentrate on having a good time and ignore the other two
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    I don't think you're overreacting. I have m8s who intended to bring all their partners along when a load of us were going to meet tonight. But most of us who are single thought that, this isn't really our group! And secondly you're right about the affection, it's inevitable and it's none of our business (unless they're trying to prove something, and even so). Tonight doesn't look like it's going ahead and just as well. I'm sure there are a trillion counter-arguments but I don't think they're strong.
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    (Original post by SciFi25)
    Please can I get some advice on this situation.

    My best friend gets her results tomorrow and wants a load of us to meet up to celebrate with her.

    The people who are going are her bf, her 3 times x, me and a mate from work who knows her through gigs the three of us have attended.

    The trouble is that i cant stand being with her and her bf. On their own they are great but together as they get drunker they get more and more affectionate and I cannot stand public affection between couples. It is this i have a problem with.

    I fell for this girl really badly last summer. They then got together because of me and I have resented it since. When ever we are out as a group which is not too often and when we are 1 on 1 they always seem to be rubbing the fact they are happy in my face. It made me feel really upset and consequently did not help in the fact that i became depressed, self harmed and suicidal (not just because of this) earlier this year.

    Recently it has not been getting me upset as i have got over the girl but it has instead started to sour my relationship with both of them because they refuse to stop rubbing it in my face. They claim they are not doing anything wrong.

    Am I over reacting? Is it because as she says that I cant understand their situation because of the fact I have never had a relationship.
    well since you are still going with other friends, it's surely ok. And keep in mind LOADSA people from your year are going out, so u can easily walk away from that girl and her b/f and go chat to other people you know. It'll be great fun. Just remember have a good time with the other people, and make sure the place/pub you are going to is the one 'everyone' are going to to celebrate.

    Edit: Are you talking about going out tomorrow or today?
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    (Original post by SciFi25)
    Please can I get some advice on this situation.

    My best friend gets her results tomorrow and wants a load of us to meet up to celebrate with her.
    She says she wants to celebrate with all of you - so if she goes off with her boyfriend you have every right to be annoyed. Make a joke of it and say how pornographic they're being in public! Or bet them a tenner each that they can't keep their hands off each other for the whole evening, they're bound to want to prove you wrong...

    PS - I think you still like her
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    [QUOTE=trigger]
    (Original post by SciFi25)
    Please can I get some advice on this situation.

    aw hunny! havnt you got another group to go out with or maybe you could concentrate o nthe other people wh oare out with you? maybe you are just paronid coz you liked this girl and everything that they do you assume they are doing on purpose? just concentrate on having a good time and ignore the other two
    I never really liked her in that way. Maybe for the first few times i saw her, but she's worth more to me as a friend. I have no one else to go out with. These are basically my circle of friends. Might just have to max the credit card and get completely paralytic. It doesn't help that whenever i try to talk to her about it now she tells me 'to get over it already' and he just ignores me.
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    (Original post by SciFi25)
    I never really liked her in that way. Maybe for the first few times i saw her, but she's worth more to me as a friend. I have no one else to go out with. These are basically my circle of friends. Might just have to max the credit card and get completely paralytic. It doesn't help that whenever i try to talk to her about it now she tells me 'to get over it already' and he just ignores me.
    well dont make yourself ill over it just ignore it or if you cant handle it dont go out full stop
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    (Original post by Amb1)
    She says she wants to celebrate with all of you - so if she goes off with her boyfriend you have every right to be annoyed. Make a joke of it and say how pornographic they're being in public! Or bet them a tenner each that they can't keep their hands off each other for the whole evening, they're bound to want to prove you wrong...

    PS - I think you still like her
    It was a different girl I fell for last year. I just put that in because I think that if it wasn't for that I would not be in the situation I am asking for help with.
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    (Original post by ResidentEvil)
    well since you are still going with other friends, it's surely ok. And keep in mind LOADSA people from your year are going out, so u can easily walk away from that girl and her b/f and go chat to other people you know. It'll be great fun. Just remember have a good time with the other people, and make sure the place/pub you are going to is the one 'everyone' are going to to celebrate.

    Edit: Are you talking about going out tomorrow or today?
    I am a year older than her, i got my a levels last year and have been hangng around working before going off to uni. It is only us going there to celebrate. She lives miles away from her school and is not really friends with any of her year.
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    (Original post by trigger)
    well dont make yourself ill over it just ignore it or if you cant handle it dont go out full stop
    I have to go, i need to give her stuff for V festival, and I promised a while back I would go. I cannot break my promise as she already does not believe my word means anything. I desperately want her to not think that as I really want her as a friend. I have never met anyone like her. She is very intrigueing.
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    (Original post by SciFi25)
    I have to go, i need to give her stuff for V festival, and I promised a while back I would go. I cannot break my promise as she already does not believe my word means anything. I desperately want her to not think that as I really want her as a friend. I have never met anyone like her. She is very intrigueing.
    i thought you didnt like her in that way???? you a very confused young man arent you?
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    (Original post by trigger)
    i thought you didnt like her in that way???? you a very confused young man arent you?
    I dont like her in that way. In that I am not confused. She is my best mate and as I have never had very many friends I don't want to lose a single one.
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    Basically mate, sounds like you are the one with the problem here. Your friend has every right to celebrate her success with her boyfriend and you have no right to stop her. I think it is only natural that she would want to celebrate with everyone she cares about/is friends with. luvvy duvvy couples just something you have to put up with when you are single, why? Because when you are in a couple you do it too and you don't even realise it.

    Clearly you are upset at not having a relationship, but that is your issue and it is unfair to transfer this onto your friend and try and blame her, she is right she is doing nothing wrong. It is a great shame you have mentioned this to your friend because she is now bound to think less of you because of it.

    My advice is get a grip, get yourself a shirt and a smile and party down. There will be lots of tipsy single ladies celebrating, why not have some fun?

    Actually, I know how you feel. I was with my boyfriend for 18 months until he dumped me last week. In February I got a group of friends together for my 18th birthday and 2 of my friends met and got together the following week. Since then I cannot see them separately, and every time we meet up as a group they are stuck together like glue and always rubbing it in everyone else's face. From September to June my relationship with my boyfriend was long-distance, and my friend knew how much I missed my boyfriend, and also that things weren't going so well, but still she kept on rubbing it in. It's spoiled our friendship. Tell her how you feel in no uncertain terms. It's not normal, and not everyone in couples does it. Some people are mature enough and respectful enough to control themselves in public.
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    (Original post by Airport Fairy)
    Actually, I know how you feel. I was with my boyfriend for 18 months until he dumped me last week. In February I got a group of friends together for my 18th birthday and 2 of my friends met and got together the following week. Since then I cannot see them separately, and every time we meet up as a group they are stuck together like glue and always rubbing it in everyone else's face. From September to June my relationship with my boyfriend was long-distance, and my friend knew how much I missed my boyfriend, and also that things weren't going so well, but still she kept on rubbing it in. It's spoiled our friendship. Tell her how you feel in no uncertain terms. It's not normal, and not everyone in couples does it. Some people are mature enough and respectful enough to control themselves in public.
    Rubbish, it's just your perception, because you are feeling down about your current relationship situation. It is normal for couples to display affection, espcially at 18. Unless your "friend" really actually hates you I doubt she thinks she is doing anything wrong and she probably isn't. Your friend probably does know how you feel, but she is obviously very happy and it is hard to truely empathise with such a disparate emotional state. You probably want your friend to be giving you more support and you are angry that she is not, but she is not in a position to do that and she should not have to change her way of life to suit you.

    I had a long distance relationship for over 2 years and at first I felt the same about my friends, until I realised that it was my problem, not their's. Don't try and put the spoilers on your mate having a good time just because you are unhappy, that's not what friends do.
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    (Original post by Airport Fairy)
    Actually, I know how you feel. I was with my boyfriend for 18 months until he dumped me last week. In February I got a group of friends together for my 18th birthday and 2 of my friends met and got together the following week. Since then I cannot see them separately, and every time we meet up as a group they are stuck together like glue and always rubbing it in everyone else's face. From September to June my relationship with my boyfriend was long-distance, and my friend knew how much I missed my boyfriend, and also that things weren't going so well, but still she kept on rubbing it in. It's spoiled our friendship. Tell her how you feel in no uncertain terms. It's not normal, and not everyone in couples does it. Some people are mature enough and respectful enough to control themselves in public.
    I manage to control myself even when drunk so like you i cannot see why its such a problem for them. I have told her how i feel but she does not bother to listen she just tells me to get over it, as if I am upset she is with him.
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    (Original post by SciFi25)
    I manage to control myself even when drunk so like you i cannot see why its such a problem for them. I have told her how i feel but she does not bother to listen she just tells me to get over it, as if I am upset she is with him.
    Don't you understand that that is exactly what it sounds like? Please do get over it - it is your problem that you are so uptight about people displaying affection in public, it is not illegal!!!! Don't judge other people by your own standards, especially when their behaviour is within the realms of normalcy, be more tolerant it's the route to happiness.
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    (Original post by ChemistBoy)
    Basically mate, sounds like you are the one with the problem here. Your friend has every right to celebrate her success with her boyfriend and you have no right to stop her. I think it is only natural that she would want to celebrate with everyone she cares about/is friends with. luvvy duvvy couples just something you have to put up with when you are single, why? Because when you are in a couple you do it too and you don't even realise it.

    Clearly you are upset at not having a relationship, but that is your issue and it is unfair to transfer this onto your friend and try and blame her, she is right she is doing nothing wrong. It is a great shame you have mentioned this to your friend because she is now bound to think less of you because of it.

    My advice is get a grip, get yourself a shirt and a smile and party down. There will be lots of tipsy single ladies celebrating, why not have some fun?
    I am not blaming her, i am just asking her to tone down her behaviour. I have never been in a 'couple' however I have been with a girl and when we were together (it lasted 5 nights, so was not a relationship) we did not do anything more extreme than a peck in public. If I can contol myself surely she should be able to as well.

    I will be trying to find some single ladies and I am not trying to stop her being with her bf, otherwise i would not have bought a load of stuff for her to take to V with him and paid for half her Reading ticket so she could go to both V and Reading.
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    (Original post by SciFi25)
    Please can I get some advice on this situation.
    The trouble is that i cant stand being with her and her bf. On their own they are great but together as they get drunker they get more and more affectionate and I cannot stand public affection between couples. It is this i have a problem with.
    I cannot stand it when people do that either though I don't really know why. Perhaps I feel its inapropriate in public places.
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    (Original post by ChemistBoy)
    Don't you understand that that is exactly what it sounds like? Please do get over it - it is your problem that you are so uptight about people displaying affection in public, it is not illegal!!!! Don't judge other people by your own standards, especially when their behaviour is within the realms of normalcy, be more tolerant it's the route to happiness.
    So I am asking them to tone down their behaviour in public, is there anything wrong with that? Perhaps if I tell you that we have actually been kicked out of pubs because of their behaviour it might go someway to explain how bad they get. Kissing is one thing, but snogging for 10's of minutes is unacceptable.
 
 
 
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