Oxford Brookes to become collegiate Watch
"The Brookes colleigiate system will include residential, pastoral and educational support for all students, and will in many ways mirror the collegiate system of Oxford, but in keeping with the ethos of Brookes, there will be some innovations where we believe that improvements can be made for a dynamic and inclusive system going forward"
It is understood that initially six colleges will be formed, St. Pauls College, on the Headington campus, St Georges College, also in Headington, St Johns College based in Wheatley and St Ringo in Harcourt Hill. Escariot College will share the Harcourt Hill campus, and a state-of-the-art Professions Allied to Medicine College , partly sponsored by Irish fashion chain Primark, will open at the Swindon Campus. Whilst colloquially known as "Primark College", it is expected that the name of this college will be voted on by faculty students in the first semester of 2018 when it is due to be officially opened by celebrity Graham Norton, who is due to receive an honorary degree. Early suggestions from the student body include Harambe College, Gordon Ramsay College, and Kardashian College. The Vice Chancellor has insisted that any name would be in keeping with the status and dignity of the academic departments."
The OP's story, obviously, is a wind up.
Happily, this isn't happening. Otherwise, how could I possibly continue making the 'Brookes College, Oxford' joke?
Funny thing is even a lot of the people at top 10 universities are still just going to end up living back at home, just with an extra £30,000 of debt that they'll probably never pay back.