Anxiety around girls...

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Sgt - Pepper
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#1
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I have quite bad anxiety around girl especially the girl I have a crush on. My anxiety is that bad that I haven't actually spoke to that girl in person, only through social media. I wouldn't say I was one of those dreamy good looking type of guys but I would go as far as saying that I am presentable in the sense that I have good personal hygiene, use aftershave and deodorant and wash my hair everyday. I also have clear complexion. The main reason that I am afraid of my crush is that I don't won't to go and bother her when she is talking to her sister (who she is always with) and her friends. Any advice on how I could get over this anxiety??
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NoPunInThisName
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If I ever want to approach a girl, my biggest concern is the context of why I'm approaching her to begin with. In theory and in practice (I've seen a friend do it), you CAN approach a girl you like, strike up a conversation and, if you decided to, ask for her number - sadly, we don't all possess that courage and confidence.

The best way to overcome the anxiety, in my opinion, is to have context with why you're talking to her. Yes you could just go up and chat, but I'm guessing you're not that confident, huh? Find some way to strike up a conversation if you can. Whether it's an observation about something or a mutual interest.

Besides, I'm sure she'd enjoy a change of company from her Sister
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Sgt - Pepper
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(Original post by NoPunInThisName)
If I ever want to approach a girl, my biggest concern is the context of why I'm approaching her to begin with. In theory and in practice (I've seen a friend do it), you CAN approach a girl you like, strike up a conversation and, if you decided to, ask for her number - sadly, we don't all possess that courage and confidence.

The best way to overcome the anxiety, in my opinion, is to have context with why you're talking to her. Yes you could just go up and chat, but I'm guessing you're not that confident, huh? Find some way to strike up a conversation if you can. Whether it's an observation about something or a mutual interest.

Besides, I'm sure she'd enjoy a change of company from her Sister
Thanks! Will I might get the chance to be with her alone but it would be next year at Sixth Form as we are both going to the same one. Her sisters and her friends are going to others but that might be leaving it too long.
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Sgt - Pepper
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Any other advice?
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DickMcBigDaddy
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(Original post by Sgt - Pepper)
Any other advice?
I'd say when you're alone with her ask her if she wants a shag

If she doesn't, chuck a 50 pence piece at her head and leave
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Sgt - Pepper
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(Original post by DickMcBigDaddy)
I'd say when you're alone with her ask her if she wants a shag

If she doesn't, chuck a 50 pence piece at her head and leave
She'd be a bit of a :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin: is she said yes to a shag the first time I spoke to her...
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Sgt - Pepper
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:dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin: What's with these dolphin things why not *?
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DickMcBigDaddy
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(Original post by Sgt - Pepper)
She'd be a bit of a :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin: is she said yes to a shag the first time I spoke to her...

Bet she'd be a bit of filth though. You wouldn't say no i bet.
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Anonymous #1
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Accept yourself, be proud of yourself and Looks don't matter.

Stop thinking, don't see her has this big beautiful women who intimidates you, lower the image in your edge and women want a man and you are a man.

Be relaxed, your man of value and you have a lot to offer.
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Sgt - Pepper
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Accept yourself, be proud of yourself and Looks don't matter.

Stop thinking, don't see her has this big beautiful women who intimidates you, lower the image in your edge and women want a man and you are a man.

Be relaxed, your man of value and you have a lot to offer.
Thanks! I put her on a pedestal too much!
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Anonymous #1
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Yeah, lower the image In your head*

She's just one female of a thousand females you could potentially be with.
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Sgt - Pepper
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah, lower the image In your head*

She's just one female of a thousand females you could potentially be with.
Thanks!
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#aspiring
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(Original post by Sgt - Pepper)
I have quite bad anxiety around girl especially the girl I have a crush on. My anxiety is that bad that I haven't actually spoke to that girl in person, only through social media. I wouldn't say I was one of those dreamy good looking type of guys but I would go as far as saying that I am presentable in the sense that I have good personal hygiene, use aftershave and deodorant and wash my hair everyday. I also have clear complexion. The main reason that I am afraid of my crush is that I don't won't to go and bother her when she is talking to her sister (who she is always with) and her friends. Any advice on how I could get over this anxiety??
Yeah man seriously, don't put girls on a 'pedestal' as it were. Don't big her up thinking that she's perfect before you even talk to her, cause this will just make you more nervous. Just be confident in yourself and if talking to her doesn't work out as you'd hoped then she's not right for you bro. You'll know when somebody's right cause it will just click my man.
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Sgt - Pepper
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(Original post by #aspiring)
Yeah man seriously, don't put girls on a 'pedestal' as it were. Don't big her up thinking that she's perfect before you even talk to her, cause this will just make you more nervous. Just be confident in yourself and if talking to her doesn't work out as you'd hoped then she's not right for you bro. You'll know when somebody's right cause it will just click my man.
I never looked at it that way! Thanks!
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Mr Optimist
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For guys like you, such anxiety is overcome by practising. It is like the people that get nervous in public speaking. They only start to manage that anxiety when they have given alot of speeches. Therefore my advice to you is simply start talking to more girls. Even if that involves random small chat. Girl are not a different species, they're humans. You don't get nervous talking to males, so why females?
When you're talking to a girl, don't assume you're being overly judged and that you have to try too hard. Yes people do judge consciously and subconsciously, but that should not effect you to the level of developing anxiety. It's all psychological. There is a very good saying " people shiver up in fear because they have an imagination, so don't imagine, and you'll be brave as hell".

Once you've started talking to more girls, you'll see improvement in your confidence. It's harder at the beginning, but even a single small chat in the beginning of a day can greatly improve your communication with females for the remainder of that day.
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Sgt - Pepper
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(Original post by Mr Optimist)
For guys like you, such anxiety is overcome by practising. It is like the people that get nervous in public speaking. They only start to manage that anxiety when they have given alot of speeches. Therefore my advice to you is simply start talking to more girls. Even if that involves random small chat. Girl are not a different species, they're humans. You don't get nervous talking to males, so why females?
When you're talking to a girl, don't assume you're being overly judged and that you have to try too hard. Yes people do judge consciously and subconsciously, but that should not effect you to the level of developing anxiety. It's all psychologically. There is a very good saying " people shiver up in fear because they have an imagination, so don't imagine, and you'll be brave as hell".

Once you've started talking to more girls, you'll see improvement in your confidence. It's harder at the beginning, but even a single small chat in the beginning of a day can greatly improve your communication with females for the remainder of that day.
Thanks!
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Sgt - Pepper
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Thanks!
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Sgt - Pepper
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...
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Sgt - Pepper
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#19
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Should I ask her out through Facebook? as I would be fine speaking to her on the date it is just I need to know if she actually wants me to talk to her.
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