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Is better to have loved and lost or never to have loved at all?

Recently I've been through a really hard break up with the only person I have ever truly loved. So I was wondering what you thought - is it really better to have experienced just how great love is, but felt just how horrible losing that person is or is it better to have never loved at all? What do you think?

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Reply 1

e-lover

I would say it's better to have loved and lost. You learn from your mistakes and you grow wiser and bolder than someone who hasn't experienced love. Sorry to hear about your break-up. The only advice I can give you is: time will heal everything. :smile:

Reply 2

bunthulhu

I can't answer this. My last relationship was rough but I can't say where I'd be now if I hadn't gone through it, so I don't know whether it would have been better or not.

Reply 3

F1 fanatic

whichever category that the person being asked happens to fall into, the grass is always greener and all that. But yeah, it would be pretty dull to go through an entire life without love, so I guess the first is better.

Reply 4

Goodkat

I don't think I have ever loved someone I've been with in a relationship. When we have split up, yes it's not pleasant, but I mean it's never bothered me an undue amount. I find it very hard to make such emotional attachments easily. So I'm not sure, but it's probably better to have loved and lost than to have never experienced it in the first place.

Reply 5

Rainygal

Well, I've never loved at all and would love to experience it so I think I'll plump for saying it's better to have loved and lost

Reply 6

Vampyrcorn

I think if you lose someone through death then that sentiment is absolutely true.

But I don't know if it's through a break-up. Maybe not in that case. :/

Reply 7

s_k

In my case I am so grateful to that person for allowing me to experience what true love is - and I will always love them. But at the same time, it's ironic that the one person who has made me experience the greatest feelings in the world has made me experience the worst feelings as well. If you truly love someone then that end (particularly if its messy like mine was) is truly more painful than anything else I have experienced. So I am completely at a loss as to what I would choose.

Reply 8

louisedotcom

I think its better to have never loved personally.

The feeling of being in love is so amazing, and something I am so glad I have had the oppertunity to experience for the last 4 years, but I think the feeling of losing that, and the person I love would be so difficult, so distressing and traumatic that no good could ever come of it. I honestly belive that I would never get over it and a part of me would never be able to move on completely.

I would rather go through life not knowing what I was missing than living a life stricken with grief.

Reply 9

I_am_the_mob

Loved and lost
I wouldn't have written all my depressing poems otherwise

Reply 10

Teao the Cat

Loved and lost. Although avoid the 'lost' but if you can... but my depressing poems were about not having been loved... since then, i've been writing happy poems...

Reply 11

M.A.H

never to have loved

Reply 12

theredsox

Never loved at all.

Reply 13

lilac!!

To never have loved at all

Reply 14

wingerrr

This is such a chick topic its unbelievable.

Reply 15

kyletms

think of it this way: love is like a really good night out, the break up is the hangover afterwards - usually a really good night out warrants a hangover, but this hangover lasts forever and cripples you emotionally

Reply 16

Allthewayhome

loved and lost.

Reply 17

Overmars

Yeah, I think so.

If you overcome it, then you'll be a much stronger person for it. But on the other hand, there's always a chance you won't recover.

Reply 18

htid

Knowing what true love can be like (or at least believing that i know), I would definitely choose that experience over not knowing what it's like. I'm not a very social person, but when it comes down to it I feel very attached to my closest friends and my boyfriend. If there was no love in my life, I may as well not live. It makes things so much more beautiful, it makes life exciting and enjoyable. Even if I lost the person I love so much now, the time we have gone through together would probably give me enough strength to move on. And however bad the breaking up could be, there is no denying that the time before was (one of) the most beautiful one in my life.

....and missing someone is bad, but if it happens in an intact relationship, it is a good sign of how much you love each other, I think.

Reply 19

fairy spangles

Your taking ur a levels right - so ur what 17/18 i might be jumping to conclusions. Okay at 17/18 i thought i was completely in love with this bloke and it turns out that actually i wasnt. My next serious boyfriend i went out with for 4 ish years and that was so much better than i thought about the bloke i so called love. Your only young - it hurts now but maybe u will find out that this relationship wasnt all it seemed at the time.