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How do I get over my ex? watch

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    My boyfriend of 18 months dumped me last week when I was completely alone. My family were 700 miles away and I couldn't see any of my friends because they all live miles away and none of us have cars. (Oh, and the public transport around here consists of one bus every 2 hours if you're lucky, and ends at half past five.)

    Anyway, we've both had a really difficult year. He's just done his first year at uni and I've just done my A-levels. The long distance was actually ok. We missed each other a lot obviously, but we managed to see each other about once every 3 weeks, and when we were together it was amazing. He says the last time he felt happy was easter, which isn't really surprising because after easter his sister got ill and didn't take any of her GCSEs, his grandfather had a stroke, I had loads of family problems, and then he had his first year exams (which do actually count towards his final degree) and after that I had my A-levels.

    Basically we were both really stressed for the whole term, but I got through it by thinking about this summer and how great it was going to be. But then as soon as he got back, he said it wasn't working. We tried for about a month, and then he broke up with me, just saying he didn't love me anymore.

    He's my best friend and has been for 3 years. We still see each other quite a lot and I don't want to lose him completely. But the problem is, I love him so much and every time I see him I just want to be back with him. I'm a complete wreck, I cry all the time and I don't even care about my results. (I'm one of those people who was freaking out about them months ago and could always say how many weeks it was until August 19th, so this is a big thing.)

    I also think it was better when he was at uni because his uni friends like and accept me, whereas his friends and family at home all hate me. I know there is a chance we could get back together, but it's only a small one and I'm so depressed and upset right now. Also, I'm having a gap year. In September, I start an admin job in a company where everyone else will be 35+. All my friends will be going to uni in different parts of the country and meeting loads of new people. I'm going to be so lonely.

    Please help me. I don't know what to do.
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    Get under somebody else. *cough*
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    accept that its over and move on. it sounds harsh but you need friends your own age and although its really crap now the hurt will stop and things will be fine. and you never no in a few years from now youl get back together and itl work but your just going to have to move on for now
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    (Original post by Zapsta)
    Get under somebody else. *cough*
    :eek: :rolleyes:

    Very helpful. If anyone could give me some proper advice, that'd be great.


    PS - you have no idea how difficult it is for me to meet people around here. I live in the middle of nowhere, I have no transport and I don't go to college anymore.

    (Original post by i am trigger)
    accept that its over and move on. it sounds harsh but you need friends your own age and although its really crap now the hurt will stop and things will be fine. and you never no in a few years from now youl get back together and itl work but your just going to have to move on for now

    I know I need friends my own age. He is my own age. (I don't consider 18 and 19 to be that different.)

    No one my own age will be here next year! I will not meet people my own age.
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    (Original post by Airport Fairy)
    I know I need friends my own age. He is my own age. (I don't consider 18 and 19 to be that different.)

    No one my own age will be here next year! I will not meet people my own age.
    there has to be some transport!
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    Go out, find a hobby. The gym is a good place to meet people.

    Sounds to me like you need some downtime, the pain does go away eventually, I think you should have a good few months concentrating on making your self happy (i.e. stay single), get some new clothes, pamper yourself, spend time with friends and family, when you're happy you'll find it a lot easier to meet someone. I had a long-term (and oft long distance) relationship which broke up last november and I stayed single for about six months, took stock, had a good time, and eventually met my current girlfriend through a common hobby.
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    (Original post by Airport Fairy)
    Very helpful. If anyone could give me some proper advice, that'd be great.


    PS - you have no idea how difficult it is for me to meet people around here. I live in the middle of nowhere, I have no transport and I don't go to college anymore.
    I'm sorry, that has to be quite hard but it seems the only way you'll cope is by gritting and moving on. It's tough.
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    Wow, I watched this topic on the Jerry Springer show last night! :eek:
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    (Original post by Swing)
    Wow, I watched this topic on the Jerry Springer show last night! :eek:
    i thought it was about a lesbien love triangle? (i never miss a show)
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    (Original post by Airport Fairy)
    Very helpful. If anyone could give me some proper advice, that'd be great.


    PS - you have no idea how difficult it is for me to meet people around here. I live in the middle of nowhere, I have no transport and I don't go to college anymore.
    To be honest i dont think you can, you just have to put up with it, It took me a year to get over a girl that i fell badly for. It is difficult for me to meet people as well so i know how bad and lonely it can be.
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    (Original post by i am trigger)
    i thought it was about a lesbien love triangle? (i never miss a show)
    I was watching it at around 1am because I was bored, and the topic was, "get over me already!"
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    (Original post by Swing)
    I was watching it at around 1am because I was bored, and the topic was, "get over me already!"
    yep that was it!!!!!!!!!

    (Original post by SciFi25)
    To be honest i dont think you can, you just have to put up with it, It took me a year to get over a girl that i fell badly for. It is difficult for me to meet people as well so i know how bad and lonely it can be.

    :mad:

    I'm going to go insane.



    I literally have no way of getting anywhere. Although I am learning to drive at the moment, it's only really so I don't have to learn when I'm older, as I won't have access to a car, and the public transport really is that bad. I have one girlfriend who is also staying here next year, so I can see myself spending a lot of time with her, but that's it really. I can't even get to a gym! If I could, I would have been going for years now, but instead I just go running outside.

    Short of going to visit a different college friend at their uni each weekend, I don't know how I'll cope. And unless Mr Right happens to move in next door to me, I will not be meeting anyone. I hate where I live.
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    (Original post by Airport Fairy)
    :mad:

    I'm going to go insane.



    I literally have no way of getting anywhere. Although I am learning to drive at the moment, it's only really so I don't have to learn when I'm older, as I won't have access to a car, and the public transport really is that bad. I have one girlfriend who is also staying here next year, so I can see myself spending a lot of time with her, but that's it really. I can't even get to a gym! If I could, I would have been going for years now, but instead I just go running outside.

    Short of going to visit a different college friend at their uni each weekend, I don't know how I'll cope. And unless Mr Right happens to move in next door to me, I will not be meeting anyone. I hate where I live.
    It is a real problem if you live in the middle of nowhere. I dont but there are very few people my age around and they all seem to be chavs. Its not exactly the same but the effects are similar. To be honest I have no idea how i have got through this past year or so. I am so looking forward to uni for the very reason that finally i will have people to talk to. I wouldn't be surprised if i have not spoken more than a million words in the past year.

    Yeah, everyone my age goes to uni. It's that kind of place. And the people that take gap years spend them in Thailand or Mexico........places like that. Maybe I should try and make friends with people a year younger than me, seeing as most people will be a year younger when I get to uni. It will be difficult not being at college though. I vaguely know someone who had to repeat a year, maybe he could introduce me to people. :confused:
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    I really do feel for you. Break-ups are horrible. I wish there were some magic way you could get over him, but it really is only time that heals. A close friend of mine was in a similar situation a year ago when a long-term boyfriend she was deeply in love with broke up with her because he was going away to uni. It's only in the past month or two she's started saying "no" when I've asked her if she'd get back together with him if he turned up on her doorstep with a bunch of flowers. It's been a really gradual thing to get to this point though, but over time, the pain has lessened, and she now has a new boyfriend who she's very happy with. Although it doesn't seem like it now, you'll feel the same way down the line.

    You must feel like you're trapped at the moment though. The only things I can think of to help you through the next few months are:
    - Go and visit your friends at uni as much as possible. It needn't be prohibitively expensive if you get a Young Person's Railcard, get the train up and stay for a few days/nights. Being somewhere new can help take your mind off things - and your mates can introduce you to all their new friends, so you'll get to spend some concentrated time with people your own age.
    - Are you going travelling at all during your gap year? It's a wonderful way to get things into perspective and discover a bit more about yourself - as well as meeting tons and tons of people, particularly if you go to a backpackers' hotspot like Australia. Even if it's only for a couple of weeks, it might provide the boost you need and give you something to look forward to.
    - Have you thought about a part-time job (even just one shift a week) in a pub/bar? When I've done bar work the other staff tend to be students or on gap years and it's a pretty good way to make friends, as well as being a very sociable job. As they tend to want you to work in the evenings, it's also a good way to pass time and take your mind off your ex - and you do get nice men chatting to you and buying you a drink which can be a confidence boost too

    Whatever you do, throw yourself into it, make the most of your independence and focus on your happiness. Even if you feel like you're doing nothing but killing time, sooner or later it'll hit you that it's getting easier. This is the worst bit right now, so it can only get better. Good luck.
 
 
 
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