No mates at Uni

I've just started uni and i can't live in halls coz if I move out I will loose my house. I haven't made any friends or anything. I don't know what to do I am really shy. Everyone in my class already has friendship groups. I am the only on that sits on my own and no one sits next to me or talks to me. Im really quite upset.

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Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I really must have a problem even people online seem to ignore me :frown:

Reply 2

HereFishyFishy

If it has just started, give it time. I know it's really horrible, but when you're settled and the freshers hype dies down it will get better. What are your hobbies? Can't you go to any society meets? Get involved with some activities. Good luck. :hugs:

Reply 3

Jenii

It is really hard when you're not in halls. Just try and talk to people...if you see someone else alone or just in a 2 then go and make conversation!

Reply 4

alextcostello

take it easy! join a club or a sport be it chess yoga or football it will help!

Reply 5

Vampyrcorn

How can they already have friends if you've only just started there? I'm sure they don't, I'm sure they're just sitting with whoever said 'hello? am I at the right lecture room?' to them first.

Your best bet is to try to make friends through your course since you aren't living in halls. If it makes you feel any better I made my best uni friends through my course and that was nothing to do with where I live - I met them in seminars.

Be patient. Friends will come, but these things always take time. :smile:

Reply 6

AngryJellyfish

Chat Forum Helper, Entertainment Forum Helper

Societies are a great way to meet people, you should go and see if any of them interest you. I was in the same boat last year, but once I found people with similar interests I opened up a bit and am a lot less shy now.

Reply 7

randomgirl

Just start talking to people. Yes it may be rather scary and daunting at first but you can do it! Just be friendly. And yes, joining socs is a good way to meet like minded people :smile:

Reply 8

justinliu

just be patient. im sure people will start talking to you eventually. remember everyone is in the same position at some time.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Ive joined the CivSoc (Civil Engineering Society), as thats what I am studying. Havent joined any sports though its way too expensive. I might be able to be on a CivDoc team though. I will try and talk to some people.

Reply 10

HereFishyFishy

Yeah, but what about fun stuff?? Hobbies? You need to get involved with those. It doesn't cost to join all societies/a team of some sort. I think you need to try a little harder.

Reply 11

lea164

in class if you see someone with an empty seat next to them, ask is this seat taken then get chatting about the course etc. What others have said is true, try and join a club so you can meet people with similar interests. These things can take time, so just relax and don't worry :smile:

Reply 12

Wangers

Be more reasonable in what you're expecting, if you're the normal person then you don't have animal magnetism. Don't be too keen either, you don't want to have someone growing on your ass, nor do you want to be remembered as the tit that managed to....

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Well I don't live in Halls, I been partying it up from sunday to thursday (taking a break from friday) and yeah I think I've met some pretty cool people and I guess reasonably well off already but still though you know, I'm starting to feel socially worn out, aswell as physically (alot of drink) and while I've got to know a lot of people, I find myself so bored talking about the same stuff, and how 'messed i got the night before' or 'how i need a sleep!' and just boring drug talk, which is what I wanted to get away from, but unfortunately the whole getting mashed thing at parties Is what I do and the rest of my interest are far too deep to be involved with small talk. I just lack the motivation and energy and really I have no idea what real questions they are, I've resulted in being slightly bitchy to avoid awkward silences...

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

OP, what uni are you at?

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

craig b

OP, what uni are you at?

The university of nottingham.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

im just so crap at making friends i was at nottingham last year but on a different course and didnt make an friends, sure i know peoples names and they know mine and we talk sometimes but thats as far as it ever goes.

Reply 17

N_n_N

you NEED to make a start or else you'll end up this way most probably.

Reply 18

mr man

Anonymous

The university of nottingham.

That unis pretty big and has lots of students. You should have a look at the societies and perhaps clubs for your course, e.t.c

Also try the nottingham sub forum on here.

Reply 19

Anthony Arundel

Anonymous

I really must have a problem even people online seem to ignore me :frown:

I don't want to play the psychologist, but, whether or not it was light hearted, this comment may indicate a defeatist, low self-confidence attitude, which may be at the heart of your problem. I know you said you're shy, which is wrapped up with it, but you posted anonymous - people aren't avoiding you. If you post anon, nobody has any clue who you are, why ever would they choose to ignore you online? There was only an hour's gap between this post and the original one. Don't panic! There's no need for that kind of low self-esteem. Perhaps you'd do well to relax and feel more comfortable with yourself around other people, and they'll warm to you in kind. Those who turn out to like you will become your friends.

I'm not presuming to tell you what you're like, but just trying to suggest what may be causing your loneliness. Of course, real friends always take their time to come along, and I agree with what everyone else has written (pretty much). A prescription of chill pills might not go amiss. :smile:

Just a thought.