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uni not for me? not even been a week..
having quite a bad start to uni
im an 18 year old lad and allways had quite a few mates back home, and quite confident etc
now im at uni im finding it so hard, cried a couple of times, someting i havnt done for years..
im meeting people etc etc
but in the day i just sit in my room and feel sad, I miss home so much and my mates
also dont talk to many people, well I do but only small talk, met loads of poeple but no where near as close as my mates back home
consdering moving home and getting a full time job, think thats where my heart lies, also not 100% into my course..
quite hard posting this.. sound like a right bender..
just dont know what to do
im an 18 year old lad and allways had quite a few mates back home, and quite confident etc
now im at uni im finding it so hard, cried a couple of times, someting i havnt done for years..
im meeting people etc etc
but in the day i just sit in my room and feel sad, I miss home so much and my mates
also dont talk to many people, well I do but only small talk, met loads of poeple but no where near as close as my mates back home
consdering moving home and getting a full time job, think thats where my heart lies, also not 100% into my course..
quite hard posting this.. sound like a right bender..
just dont know what to do
Don't worry, lots of people go through this. I've had the exact same situation but it's starting to go, and talking to some second years last night quite a few agreed that freshers week is unnatural and weird feeling, and that they'd been homesick and lonely at times. It's normal and hopefully will pass as we get more used to life at uni.
Here's what I tell myself, almost all of this applies to you too:
We're confident and social people at home so we aren't realistically going to have any problems making friends somewhere like uni which is full of young people.
Our friends at home are amazing, but we've known them for years and so can't expect similar fantastic friendships to spring up in a few weeks at uni. People have told me and I've read that the instant bonds people seem to develop in Freshers often don't last, and that the best friendships are made in the second semester at the earliest.
We've only been there a week or two. Changing your life so much (the people you hang around, where you eat and sleep, where in the country you are) is always going to be unsettling, this is what makes us miss the comfort of home and all our friends, it's what makes us depressed and upset, which is normal and fine.
I'm sure things will pick up soon. There have been times when I've been intimidated/not liked the look of my course too, and I've indulged in the thought of dropping out and doing something else, but I think it's far too early to realistically consider a drastic action like that.
Here's what I tell myself, almost all of this applies to you too:
We're confident and social people at home so we aren't realistically going to have any problems making friends somewhere like uni which is full of young people.
Our friends at home are amazing, but we've known them for years and so can't expect similar fantastic friendships to spring up in a few weeks at uni. People have told me and I've read that the instant bonds people seem to develop in Freshers often don't last, and that the best friendships are made in the second semester at the earliest.
We've only been there a week or two. Changing your life so much (the people you hang around, where you eat and sleep, where in the country you are) is always going to be unsettling, this is what makes us miss the comfort of home and all our friends, it's what makes us depressed and upset, which is normal and fine.
I'm sure things will pick up soon. There have been times when I've been intimidated/not liked the look of my course too, and I've indulged in the thought of dropping out and doing something else, but I think it's far too early to realistically consider a drastic action like that.
agreed it sounds like you have "freshers flu" dw it will pass
Stick it out a few more weeks, as hard as it is (and i know how difficult it is because i'm missing home alot and considered dropping out a few times) you might feel better once you're more settled and have formed closer friendships with people. Proper friendships take ages to form so don't worry that it's just small talk at the mo, everyone is in that situation. In the day try to get out and join clubs etc and invite flatmates out so you get to know them better.
Try to be strong and don't give up yet, imagine if you went home and hated it there and wanted to come back to uni, you'd be stuck for a year before you could reapply again. Good luck x
Try to be strong and don't give up yet, imagine if you went home and hated it there and wanted to come back to uni, you'd be stuck for a year before you could reapply again. Good luck x
Not as close as your friends at home? No ****. These things take time. Just chillout, seriously things'll fall into place!
id agree with stick at it
also your close freinds at home will still be your close freinds, going to uni doesnt mean you have to 'replace' them, which your post seems to imply. It sounds like you expected to go to uni and immediately have a group of close friends, that doesnt happen for months at uni.
i miss my friends from home when im at uni, but all that going to uni has meant is that i get to spend better time with them when im at home, if you havent seen them for several weeks, the nightsout you go on etc are even better than usual, as you have so much to talk about.
also once the lectures kick in you wont have as much time to sit about thinking about things, as you'll have work to do.
i also agree with the other poster that said many people who meet people in freshers week dont tend to stay friends with them in the longrun anyway, many of my uni friends now (im just going into year3) i met a few weeks later than freshers week.
also your close freinds at home will still be your close freinds, going to uni doesnt mean you have to 'replace' them, which your post seems to imply. It sounds like you expected to go to uni and immediately have a group of close friends, that doesnt happen for months at uni.
i miss my friends from home when im at uni, but all that going to uni has meant is that i get to spend better time with them when im at home, if you havent seen them for several weeks, the nightsout you go on etc are even better than usual, as you have so much to talk about.
also once the lectures kick in you wont have as much time to sit about thinking about things, as you'll have work to do.
i also agree with the other poster that said many people who meet people in freshers week dont tend to stay friends with them in the longrun anyway, many of my uni friends now (im just going into year3) i met a few weeks later than freshers week.
Even the best friends from home you miss so much were strangers to you at one point. Give people at uni a chance, you cant expect to feel at home right away and it may take some time. You've worked hard to get into uni, don't go throwing it all away because you feel a bit homesick-it won't be like that forever.
thanks for all thr advice 
of to the union in a bit so will make an extra effort and have more small talk lol
i have an interview soon and my course starts soon, will stick it out
just miss my mates like crazy and feeling so sad.. hopefully i will make some more mates out here though, just dont want to lose what I have at home..
thanks for all the replies
p.s sorry for sounding like a bender lol
of to the union in a bit so will make an extra effort and have more small talk lol
i have an interview soon and my course starts soon, will stick it out
just miss my mates like crazy and feeling so sad.. hopefully i will make some more mates out here though, just dont want to lose what I have at home..
thanks for all the replies
p.s sorry for sounding like a bender lol
iceman_jondoe
agreed it sounds like you have "freshers flu" dw it will pass
Haha or not. Haha freshers flu is a cold you get from being close proximity to a lot of new people, and while it might make you feel a bit down this is probably anxiety about losing friends, making new ones, missing home etc etc
Anonymous
thanks for all thr advice
of to the union in a bit so will make an extra effort and have more small talk lol
i have an interview soon and my course starts soon, will stick it out
just miss my mates like crazy and feeling so sad.. hopefully i will make some more mates out here though, just dont want to lose what I have at home..
thanks for all the replies
p.s sorry for sounding like a bender lol
of to the union in a bit so will make an extra effort and have more small talk lol
i have an interview soon and my course starts soon, will stick it out
just miss my mates like crazy and feeling so sad.. hopefully i will make some more mates out here though, just dont want to lose what I have at home..
thanks for all the replies
p.s sorry for sounding like a bender lol
what does a bender sound like?
im in a similar position except i just dont have any friends at all, im going to my local uni so its not even like i have friends back home.
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