thpeu
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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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Hi people,

I'm taking the IELTS academic test in two weeks time, and would really like some feedback on my writing. I have to get band C which is 7.0 overall but with 6.5 in writing.

Would you mind reading my example text and let me know what you think? just be brutally honest, I really want to know what to improve to get the score I need!

Task: "In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they like. To what extent should children have to follow rules?"

How people raise their children usually differs from country to country as different cultures have diverse outlooks on parenting. Some have strict rules, others tend to have a more casual approach. It is in my opinion extremely important to teach children certain rules of behaviour to make sure they are well mannered, polite, and able to socialise well with other kids and adults.

Rules and regulations are an excellent way of teaching children how to behave in all aspects of everyday life. They bring order and structure into what can sometimes be a hectic schedule for a lot of families. Some studies show that children who are raised under the freedom with responsibility principle grow up to become more determined and mature adults.

However, being brought up with too many strict rules can be disastrous for some children. The lack of independence and free will can cause children to rebel against their parents or school, and might lead to making foolish decisions that can affect the kid’s life on longer terms. On the other end of the spectrum, the lack of rules might make it difficult for them to apply under the structural of modern society.

In conclusion, I believe children should be brought up learning the importance of appropriate social conduct from an early age. Freedom with responsibility is possibly the happy medium to ensure that ones’ children will grow up to be respectful, disciplined and responsible for their actions.


Thanks so much
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