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Need some help on what to say to people

Im 22 and find it so hard to make friends, im currently unemployed and just studying so I can never think of anything to say my life is boring, any ideas of stuff to talk about (until I get a job) to people at my judo club (for some strange reason they don't talk about judo much)? My dad says im sad but I actually want to go out and enjoy life but there are 2 things in my way, I have panic attacks and have no friends at all.

Also I think people I know click on that im like this as they ask 'do you drink', 'do you go out' etc. I do appear very inconfident but why would they ask this if they hadn't clicked on that im friendless?

Reply 1

Angrybanana

11

Why do you have panic attacks?

Reply 2

=nuke=

11

When I meet new people I want to know about their interests and their favourite bands and things like that... you don't have to be a superhero for people to find you interesting.

;oldtimer;

Reply 3

lea164

just ask them about themselves, their interests etc. and the attention will be away from you and more on them which might give you more confidence.

Reply 4

Notepadmed

Angrybanana

Why do you have panic attacks?

Stress , Shyness could well be the cause of this!

Reply 5

fairy spangles

1

Chill out relax and go with the flo dont stres taklk about anything even if it seems so completely utterly stupid.

Reply 6

dazmanultra

1

Think about taking up some new, interesting hobbies. It's a great way to meet people and enrich your life with new things.

Also, consider reading more. Classical literature, modern prize winners, pop fiction, biographies of people you admire. Reading books is a great way to expand your mind.

Finally, travel as much as you can to new places.

Doing interesting things gives you interesting stories and portrays you as an interesting person. People become interested in interesting people. :wink:

Typically though, people like talking about themselves. This doesn't mean you should interview them (where do you live, what do you do etc) but it does mean that if you are genuinely interested in finding out about this other person, you should ask them open-ended questions that might take them a couple of seconds to think about. Things like "What did you really want to do when you grew up when you were at school?" or "What's the most adventurous thing you've ever done?" or "So what are you really passionate about?". Hope that helps.

Reply 7

qubog

12

People become interested in people who are like them. So talk about things that everyone enjoys e.g. "did you watch Hollyoaks yesterday?" (doesn't have to be Hollyoaks) "are you going out tonight?" "what should I have for dinner tonight?". TV, going out and food are three topics the people in my halls could talk about for hours.

Also, if you ask "are you going out tonight" and they say no, you can say "we should all go to the cinema as a group", all go out together and get to know each other then you'll have endless things to talk about once you start doing things together.

Then there is the fail-safe ice-breaker..."i'm so hungover". Particularly useful in early lectures :smile:

Reply 8

ßlαcksωαn

17

Anonymous

Im 22 and find it so hard to make friends, im currently unemployed and just studying so I can never think of anything to say my life is boring, any ideas of stuff to talk about (until I get a job) to people at my judo club (for some strange reason they don't talk about judo much)? My dad says im sad but I actually want to go out and enjoy life but there are 2 things in my way, I have panic attacks and have no friends at all.

Also I think people I know click on that im like this as they ask 'do you drink', 'do you go out' etc. I do appear very inconfident but why would they ask this if they hadn't clicked on that im friendless?

that's sad

Need some help on what to say to people

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