Sorry. This is going to be a very ranting and long post. My parents are always giving me lectures on how I am not a good enough Muslim. They don't like the way I dress even though I dress very modestly. I just don't wear a hijab. They don't like my university friends either and they don't like the fact that I don't pray. They basically hate who I really am.
They also emotionally blackmail me by stating all of the things they've done and sacrificed for me. My mum likes to mention a lot how she has financially supported me through university. My dad also says that it hurts him everyday to see what I've become. Statements like this makes me feel guilty and makes me hate myself for being a bad daughter. When they start guilt-tripping me like this I feel like a terrible person for accepting money from them. I have bipolar as well so when they do stuff like this it makes things ten times worse.
They also like to control every single facet of my life. They control my haircut, my clothing, the time I go to sleep, want to know where I'm going and then set a time when I'm meant to be home. They even want to control who I will marry (I don't even want to get
ing married).
I love my parents but I sometimes question whether they love me. If they loved me they would care what I want. They would respect that I don't want to pray 5 times a day or fast in ramadan or that I don't want to wear a hijab.
I want to move out but I'm not financially stable to move out yet. I still have one more year of university left before I can graduate, get a job, and then move out. Even then I'm not sure if I'll be strong enough to be able to withstand the emotional blackmail they'll use to get me to stay and continue being controlled by them.
How do I try and cope with them for another year?