We like eachother but nothing can happen :(

7

Hey everyone, basically ive liked this guy for around 2.5 years and people have said he has a thing for me also. We've never actually got together because both of us are very shy. I gave up on anything happening between us and briefly dated one of his friends several months ago. Recently, me and the guy have started flirting, we hang around with some of the same friends, and last night we were texting and he said 'you know i liked you a while ago' to which i replied 'i like you'. He asked me in what way and i said 'more than friends'. He then went on to admit that he had feelings for me aswell but that he had to do what was right for his friendship (with my ex) and nothing could come of it. He said he was sorry if he lead me on etc etc. Now, i completely understand that he should put his friendship first but when he said he liked me before, i thought it was a sign he was interested :s-smilie:

i feel really confused, upset as i really like him, embarassed and i know i wont be able to act around the same around him now :frown:

Im sorry if that was a little confusing, im not sure what im looking for, perhaps just your views on the situation, thanks xxx

Reply 1

EvilSheep

;console;

The fact that he told you - he wanted you to know - that he liked you, is a good sign IMO.. My best advice is to just stay friends with him, try getting closer to him as a friend, so that eventually he'll see what he's missing out on!! Also, if you could talk to your ex about it (if that's at all possible.. ), like asking him whether he'd be ok with it and all..

Reply 2

punktopia

3

If you liked him, why did you date his friend?

Reply 3

DodgyTrousers

7

I don't see why nothing can happen from what you've said. Plenty of times things happen when they really, really shouldn't. You get people who 'hated' each other 2 hours ago ending up in bed, and it's not like you're that opposed is it?

If you want something to happen, make it obvious. Don't play games and tease him with code that he probably doesn't get. Kiss the man. If he doesn't respond, laugh it off and go back to being friends.

If you're interested in plausible deniability, get slightly sloshed first and blame the drink. I've never held people making passes at me against them, I don't see why he would.

Reply 4

20083

2

Little_Button

... he said 'you know i liked you a while ago'... ...what was right for his friendship (with my ex) and nothing could come of it.

So why did he even tell you he liked you? Sounds like he is playing games.

Reply 5

Little_Button

OP

7

Thank you all for your advice so far, i appreciate it!

Evil sheep – i will try to stay friends however i think i will feel embarrassed when he’s around, also although i’m not on bad terms with my ex, i still find it awkward talking to him.

Punktopia – i really thought there was no chance of me and the guy ever getting together, i got closer to the friend when we both went to the same uni, i developed a little crush on him, he asked me out and i accepted.

Dodgytrousers – i thought i had made it pretty obvious, i flirted lots with him and if i’m honest i thought he was flirting back, i’d love something to happen but he’s said it cant because of his friend so i have to respect that.

Nessyfencer – i don’t know, that’s what’s got me really confused! When he said about having liked me before, i thought he was steering the conversation towards our feelings towards eachother, as it was sort of out of the blue, and took it as encouragement to tell him i liked him! It surprised me when he said about not wanting anything to happen, because i’d have thought that he would just not mention it at all!

I'd be really grateful for any more of your opinions :redface:

xxx

Reply 6

20083

2

Little_Button

Nessyfencer – i don’t know, that’s what’s got me really confused! When he said about having liked me before, i thought he was steering the conversation towards our feelings towards eachother, as it was sort of out of the blue, and took it as encouragement to tell him i liked him! It surprised me when he said about not wanting anything to happen, because i’d have thought that he would just not mention it at all!

I think he was trying to steer the conversation there. I also think that he knew where you would then take and he also knew how it would end. He is playing games with you and it isn't fair on you. Do not allow him to treat you like this.

Reply 7

Little_Button

OP

7

He text me again last night saying 'i'm sorry if i upset you' :s-smilie:

Reply 8

Ashes_to_Ashes

2

he sounds really nice, it's a shame. Just don't let it get you down, afterall, if nothing ends up happening he does seem like a good friend! :smile:

Reply 9

20083

2

jess_17_07

he sounds really nice, it's a shame. Just don't let it get you down, afterall, if nothing ends up happening he does seem like a good friend! :smile:

How do you work that out? He seems like the opposite to me. He has baited her into saying what he wanted and dropped an anvil on her when she did it.

Read the bit where he said he liked her, she returned it and he asked "in what way."

That "sorry" to me reads that he wants to bring the whole thing up again.

Reply 10

qubog

12

Sounds to me like he is attention seeking and wants you to boost his ego.

Reply 11

Ashes_to_Ashes

2

Nessyfencer

How do you work that out? He seems like the opposite to me. He has baited her into saying what he wanted and dropped an anvil on her when she did it.

Read the bit where he said he liked her, she returned it and he asked "in what way."

That "sorry" to me reads that he wants to bring the whole thing up again.

hmmm, I duno... I suppose it's hard for any of us to make judgements seeing as we don't know him.

Reply 12

20083

2

jess_17_07

hmmm, I duno... I suppose it's hard for any of us to make judgements seeing as we don't know him.

Yeah, of course it is, but as long as the OP realises this then our opinions can be taken in the correct way. We can only go with the information given, and depending on our own experiences will probably read it differently.

Reply 13

Little_Button

OP

7

Thanks again for the replies :smile:

I've been thinking about the situation quite a bit and i really don't want to give up on him, although i'm worried that if i continue to show an interest i will come across as desperate or pushy :s-smilie:

i absolutely cannot understand why he would mention about liking me if he was adamant that he would not jeopardise his friendship! When i first admitted to liking him, he was rather inquisitive about it and was saying 'how you could have an interest in me is hard to grasp' and 'okay i never would've guessed that, anything you want to know since i'm annoyingly stupid?' :s-smilie:

Urgh i really am so confused, do u guys think i should give him more time? Or is there any point because i don't want to wait around for something that isn't going to happen! Sorry for rambling again xxx

Reply 14

Jimmy_Wong

Just tell him you want to go out with him, it doesn't matter what his friend thinks. If he's his real friend he'll want to see your man happy. If he kicks up a fuss and starts moaning he must be quite immature:- you said you only went out with the friend for a wee while so it can't have been very serious.
Just tell him how feel you 1 on 1 and see what he says, what have you got to lose?

Reply 15

Little_Button

OP

7

I have already told him how i feel though :s-smilie:

Reply 16

Angelil

19

Jimmy_Wong

Just tell him you want to go out with him, it doesn't matter what his friend thinks. If he's his real friend he'll want to see your man happy. If he kicks up a fuss and starts moaning he must be quite immature:- you said you only went out with the friend for a wee while so it can't have been very serious.
Just tell him how feel you 1 on 1 and see what he says, what have you got to lose?

It's frankly not really your ex's business who his mate chooses to go out with, even if that does happen to be his ex-girlfriend. If he's your ex I assume you and he have the right to move on now?

Reply 17

20083

2

Angelil

It's frankly not really your ex's business who his mate chooses to go out with, even if that does happen to be his ex-girlfriend. If he's your ex I assume you and he have the right to move on now?

Guys don't work like that though. You never, ever go near your mate's sister or X.

Reply 18

Music Is My Boyfriend

9

I reckon he's brickin it about what your ex will say...hence mentioning he used to like you...so he's wants you to be the one OK-ing it woth your ex...IMO

We like eachother but nothing can happen :(

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