I know stuff like this gets posted a lot..

I know a lot of threads similar/related to this subject are written, but I just need to write down a few feelings that I feel I can't talk to my friends about.

I'm about to start my second year of university and I've just moved into a house with 5 of my friends and I don't know what's wrong with me. For the past 3 or 4 weeks I've had a lot of problems with companies trying to sort everything out for the house and health wise that has taken it's toll on me. I became ill and am still on the antibiotics to get rid of a chest infection which has now nearly passed.

Everything's been sorted but I'm still feeling really low, and I don't know why. I've gone down from a size 14 to a size 10 and I want to eat but can't and I physically don't know why, I'm just not hungry. At the moment I'm living on a couple of bowls of pasta and even then I have to force myself to eat. My sleeping patterns have become disorientated, I'm probably getting about 5 hours a night, although I am having small naps in the day. && i've cried myself to sleep more times than I should have these past few weeks.

I can't remember the last time I smiled and I don't know what to do anymore. When I wake up all I want to do is pull the duvet back over my head and disappear. I work weekends at a clothes shop and these past 2 weeks I've rung in sick, just because I couldn't face going in.

At first I thought it was missing home so last week I went home but didn't feel any better. In fact, I think it made it worse because all I thought about was the house here and want needs sorting. When most people post saying they're depressed I usually reply with it's more likely the face you're feeling blue, it'll probably pass in a couple of days and for years when i've felt a bit down I've put it down as that and felt better a few days later, by doing stuff that makes me happy, but this has been 3 or 4 weeks and I'm still not feeling better. All the things that made me happy aren't working anymore and I don't know what to do anymore. I hate feeling like this but everyday is a challenge to get through.

I've been out a couple of times with my friends and left the club each time after a couple of hours. I just can't be bothered with anything but I don't want to feel like this when uni starts.

I just want any advice from anybody. What do you think I should do? Do you think these feeling's are going to pass?

Reply 1

htid

Hey there,

First of all I want to say I find it very good that you posted this here, I think it is always good to tell anyone, no matter who, about whatever concerns you.
Maybe sorting all these things you said out has just been too much on you and you're just too stressed to cope with it all on your own. So maybe you will feel better at some point, when it's all settled down. However, I think when you feel bad you shouldn't just wait for things to change, you should do something about it. You could try ringing a help line thing, they're often for free and you can just talk about things and stay anonymous. Or you could talk to your family about it, if you have to sort that many things out and were ill as well, they'd surely want to help you.
Make sure you keep your head up like you have been doing, try to go through every day and find something nice until it gets better. If you eat that little I'd suggest you to eat some vegetables or fruits besides pasta, to make sure you get enough nutrients. If your body isn't strong enough you'll hardly feel strong either.
I guess to solve the problem you need to find out the reason for it, so talk to more people about it, people who know what they're talking about in particular. Other people can often help you find out what's wrong, maybe you just don't see the problem.

Hope you're better again soon! :smile:

Keep your head up!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Thank you. That's really good advice :smile:

And I'm the only person conscious of how much electricity we're wasting. Like I don't use the dryer, have my laptop plugged in all day or leave my light on and everyone else does, so i'm always feeling like the bad guy telling people not to do it.

I got back from home last night and I've been at work all day today and when I got back to the house one of my housemates said "ooh, you've got no tally" because they've set up a tally thing for if you do all the washing up you get a tally thing. And she said "you best get one soon or you'll have to do all the washing up for a week"

And i know she only said it/meant in a jokingly way but it made me cry so now I'm sat in my room crying, whilst everyone else is in the living room.

I think you're right about the stress thing though. Like we've still not had any info through about water yet and we've been living here 2 months and we've not had a gas/electric bill and I think that's going to be huge so I am worrying about that and you're right I think it's just taking it's toll.

Hmm. I think I might speak to one of my mates from home. See how they're coping.

Thank you for your advice :smile:

Reply 3

htid

No problem, I'm happy to help :smile:

. I know what depressing situations can be like.

Well, the energy thing... I know that problem from my bf. At uni, he shared a house with three mates, and one of them was an extensive energy waster, he even left his pc on standby when he went home for a weekend! Fortunately, the guy who took care of bills and stuff realised that it was a bit unfair and made him pay more, without his knowledge though....but I think it's jsut fair, fine if they dont care about wasting precious energy resources, but it's very mean to make those pay the same amount who use a lot less! You should really try and talk to them about it sensibly and ask if they could maybe pay more! I don't know how successfull that can be since you're one against I dunno how many people, but I think it's definitely worth a try if you're not a millionaire!!

I can very much relate to that situation about doing the washing up. Well, not the same situation but your reaction to it! My boyfriend always says I'm sometimes a bit over-emotional. I think you will agree that crying in that situation is a bit odd, yet you should take it seriously because there can be sth serious behind it and not put it down as a phase! I haven't quite figured out yet why I sometimes cry in situations which don't really need crying or anything like that, but I'm trying to work on.

Yes, I think it would be great seeing how your friends are doing! Tell them how stressed you are because of the bills etc. This way, you dont need to tell them your full story if you dont dare or don't want to, but you can still get rid of the pressure a bit! Maybe they have ideas about how to cope with the energy thing or sth!

If it happens rather often to you that you sometimes cry or are really sad for no specific reason, I think it would be good to talk to tell someone every time! At least as long as you dont know why it happens or as long as you cant talk to a counsellor or sth (maybe your uni has one?). It helps me a lot at least, I always tell my bf and he can just tell me it's fine, it's gonna be over soon and show me that the situation is not as bad as I make it. Then I can see situations from a not-so-bad point of view and it doesn't get down on me too much!

So get yourself a trustworthy person to talk to! :smile:

If you want to, you can talk to me, PM me if you feel like it :smile:

. Even people online can help more than not talking about it at all, I think. And you can stay a bit more anonymous if you prefer that!

Keep your head up :smile:

Reply 4

fairy spangles

I can so relate to all of this stuff.
In my first year of uni i had to live in a house with 3 people i didnt know that well. When the bills were due me and my friend would pay our share and then we had to chase the others for days on end for their share but they wouldnt give us our share. Then we had threatening letters from companies. We eventually got it sorted but me and my friend ended up paying the lot. Remember at the end of the day its only money and its not worth risking ur health over. I know what it was like to be careful - but at the end of the day ur health is at risk. Take care.