Not sure of keeping the friendship going or not. Opinions?

Right so,
I've had this friend for 10 years and we've been through a lot together, but more and more I'm realising she just never makes time for me, and I mean never. Never calls or texts me to arrange things, but she see's her other friends and just never bothers with me.

I'm getting to the age now (nearly 22) that I'm starting to grow up a little bit, and I'm not massively into the whole going out and getting wasted in a nightclub type of thing anymore. It seems stupid to me.
Also because it just costs way too much having to pay for hotels and travel. I don't live near the major city we go out in usually.

But when I try and see her to do other things like go for a meal, go for drinks, go cinema, anything she blows it out of control and asks me why I'm being a dick? She does these things with her other friends but won't with me? is this her taking a strop because she isn't getting her own way? I physically cannot afford anymore :dolphin:

nights out, I don't see why I should. It would be far better to actually talk and go for food and cocktails, and not be stupid with money.

Also another thing is, she seems to talk about me behind my back when I say no calling me boring or saying I'm being a :dolphin:

......
Rant over

Reply 1

SleepingLion3

13

Doesn't sound like a friend to me. No point making an effort for someone who won't do the same for you.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Bump

Reply 3

username2926188

21

Same thing happened to me. Is there any point of staying in this friendship? If she wanted to make an effort she would and she's not. And it's even worse how she's not even trying to hid the fact that she's being a shitey friend when she's making time for other people and not you too. You've clearly seen it on her social networks so I don't know man.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 4

EmmaCx

13

Original post by Anonymous

Right so,
I've had this friend for 10 years and we've been through a lot together, but more and more I'm realising she just never makes time for me, and I mean never. Never calls or texts me to arrange things, but she see's her other friends and just never bothers with me.

I'm getting to the age now (nearly 22) that I'm starting to grow up a little bit, and I'm not massively into the whole going out and getting wasted in a nightclub type of thing anymore. It seems stupid to me.
Also because it just costs way too much having to pay for hotels and travel. I don't live near the major city we go out in usually.

But when I try and see her to do other things like go for a meal, go for drinks, go cinema, anything she blows it out of control and asks me why I'm being a dick? She does these things with her other friends but won't with me? is this her taking a strop because she isn't getting her own way? I physically cannot afford anymore :dolphin:

nights out, I don't see why I should. It would be far better to actually talk and go for food and cocktails, and not be stupid with money.

Also another thing is, she seems to talk about me behind my back when I say no calling me boring or saying I'm being a :dolphin:

......
Rant over

I think you've answered your own question - no you shouldn't be friends with her. In fact, it sounds like you're not actually friends at all. Unfortunately, you're just going to have to move on and focus on your other friends. She obviously doesn't respect you, and respect is a big part of friendships. If she valued you as a person, she would not be doing those things. You don't even need to confront her about it, if she never puts the effort in with you, then you can just stop putting the effort in as well. No point trying to cling to something that isn't there. I have friends that don't like to go out, and I respect that because I value them as people. I can spend time doing other things with them, and enjoy their company.

Reply 5

Potato456

19

I know that I'm not much help but it may make you feel better that I'm going through a very, very similar experience! It's just getting me down - I know that I need to do the break but it's hard after being friends with them for so long

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6

CompSciEngineer

8

It's usually better to keep friends rather than to abandon them. If you feel you are no longer compatible then distance yourself for the time being, take a break from going out / contact 'naturally' as it happens in most cases - again - 'naturally'.

I have probably tens of friends like this. Some I know are still my friends and I could hypothetically really on them (hopefully I'll never have to) even though we have not been out for like 3 years, since the end of college.

It's a natural process - you go through life and find new people who are more compatible with you - at this stage in your life - but in general in most cases I do not 'abandon' my old friends completely, despite of lack of contact

Hopefully this makes sense :biggrin:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Potato456

I know that I'm not much help but it may make you feel better that I'm going through a very, very similar experience! It's just getting me down - I know that I need to do the break but it's hard after being friends with them for so long

Posted from TSR Mobile

I guess it just happens :/
But she tries to guilt trip me all the time when I confront her about it, her never making an effort
"It's not my fault I'm ignorant" "I didn't mean to"

If it's not your fault then who in the :dolphin:

ing hells fault is it ??! Hahahah

Not sure of keeping the friendship going or not. Opinions?

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you