is it worth me taking antidepressants Watch
If you are worried about it, you could freeze your sperm so if anything does happen you could still have a child in the future?
is it worth me taking meds to deal with depression and suicidal feelings if it means theres a chance of it making me infertile? because right now the only thing that i want is to find a wife and produce a child, i feel like having someone to really love and take care of is the purpose of my life
There is obviously also the option of not taking ADs and just having therapy.
Whatever you choose to do I suggest you also have therapy. It helps to solidify improvements, prevent relapse etc.
Personally I would seriously consider the ADs (maybe try just therapy first) on the grounds that suicidal thoughts etc won't exactly put you in the best position to have kids, but with more stable mental health you would be in a much better position, even if it meant adopting or using frozen sperm.
Good luck making the decision and with your mh
That said, treatment is really important. Have you considered therapy? You should definitely try it, but you need to be able to engage with it. If you don't feel up to that, ask your GP about antidepressants that have less effect on sex drive. Bupropion (Wellbutrin) is one, but I don't know if they prescribe that for depression, and if they do it will need to be by a psychiatrist. Ask your GP for a referral to a psych, but keep in mind that it can take months.
In the mean time you could look into using a supplement. There's some evidence that 5-HTP and St John's Wort (you can get them from Amazon or Holland and Barrett) can help.