Boyfriend has just found out he's HIV positive. I've had unprotected sex with him
I'm so so scared.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Anonymous
a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
ye maybe. It weakens your immune system so you're more likely to catch other things.
The treatment for HIV is pretty good now so you can carry on living a normal life if you have it.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm so so scared.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
It's possible that it could have transmitted by unprotected sex, you can visit a sexual health clinic for a test or this site could help you find somewhere to get a home test kit https://www.test.hiv/ . I presume he's spoken to healthcare professionals since his diagnosis, there's many treatments out there now to help people live full lives with the virus, so he could have a decent life.
Go and see your GP as soon as. 
Original post by bex.anne
I'm sorry to hear this but I don't think a student forum is where you should be asking this because none of us will be experienced enough to tell you if you have contracted it or not. Go to a doctor
but you don;t need to be a HCP to suggest very strongly that someone needs to go to the sexual health clinic or their GP to get tested .
Original post by Anonymous
I'm so so scared.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
If it was only two weeks ago, you may not be able to tell - it can take three months or more for the virus to be detectable. Even so, you should go to a doctor or hospital asap for advice, a test. If it were within 72 hours you could have been put on PEP which can help prevent you contracting the virus. But still, as others say, please go to a hospital or drs asap for the correct advice and guidance.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm so so scared.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
You need Perp(?)
It stops the infection. Both go to a STD Clinic
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
I'm so so scared.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
Did you experience the flu symptoms around 2-4 weeks post sexual encounter? Most people newly infected will get 'the worst flu ever' within this time frame. Have you noticed a rash on your upper body? It is too late to take PEP I assume (must be started within days).
Get tested ASAP! As others have said HIV+ people can live a healthy life on drugs. I know what the scare feels like, I was in a similar situation just over a year ago, but I am straight.
There is not much else I can say, just pray to god your not poz.
Original post by SMEGGGY
There are two types, Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) taken before sex and post exposure prophylaxis (PEP), though it is probably too late to take PEP.
so you've had unprotected sex with him 3 or times since infection?
if that's all the exposure you had then statistically you are unlikely to have it .......but since you have history with the guy and may have have been having unprotected sex with him before he was diagnosed ...this raises your chances significantly.
tbh, it might have been you who gave it to him [but have not experienced any symptoms yet so didn't go to the doctor]
I think you should go to the doctor asap and get it checked out.
good luck.
and you should report your bf to the relevant authorities. It is despicable to knowingly have sex with an uninformed person if you have hiv, and also illegal!
if that's all the exposure you had then statistically you are unlikely to have it .......but since you have history with the guy and may have have been having unprotected sex with him before he was diagnosed ...this raises your chances significantly.
tbh, it might have been you who gave it to him [but have not experienced any symptoms yet so didn't go to the doctor]
I think you should go to the doctor asap and get it checked out.
good luck.
and you should report your bf to the relevant authorities. It is despicable to knowingly have sex with an uninformed person if you have hiv, and also illegal!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm so so scared.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we broke up for three months, 8 months ago. In February my boyfriend (we are both gay men aged 24) became very withdrawn and during foreplay asked to use a condom for sex.
I didn't know why as we're both faithful but I agreed.
Then he refused sex altogether and refused completely since that day. I got really angry and upset about this but he just kept saying please just give me space and I promise I still love you.
So we went to a wedding and he got really drunk. I didn't but at the hotel I encouraged him into unprotected sex. He's my long term partner so I didn't see it as wrong.
Now he's sat me down this evening and told me he's HIV positive! I'm absolutely devastated. He has no idea about the unprotected sex and we had sex two weeks ago and once in the late evening and again early morning. He doesn't even remember it he was so drunk.
He's the 'top' so more chance of me having been infected.
I am angry/terrified/upset. I know nothing about HIV.
If he ejaculated twice but we only had sex one day the last few months how likely am I to have contracted the virus?
Can I have got it the time we used a condom?
He's been infect with HIV for 8 months roughly.
I've had a terrible cold/virus and I completely lost my voice and was diagnosed with swollen lymph nodes. Could this have been the start of the infection? It went away.
I love him so much and want to stay with him. What now? Will he have a decent life? I wish I could take this from him.
Please see your GP/Sexual Health clinic ASAP about this. Unfortunately, there is a very real chance that you could have been infected with HIV given the circumstances you outline.
I had really bad flu two weeks after. I was bedridden. I couldn't get out of bed.
I think I've got it.
I've an appointment booked with my GP. I'm so scared and angry :-(
I think I've got it.
I've an appointment booked with my GP. I'm so scared and angry :-(
We were both HIV negative last year and I've only ever had any sexual contact with him in my entire
Life.
So it can't be from me.
What an idiot he is.
To be fair he was so drunk he didn't know what he was doing. I was the one in the wrong getting him to have sex in the first place. I'm such an idiot too but how was I to know.
It's going to be so difficult waiting for the doctors appointment and also waiting for test results.
Life.
So it can't be from me.
What an idiot he is.
To be fair he was so drunk he didn't know what he was doing. I was the one in the wrong getting him to have sex in the first place. I'm such an idiot too but how was I to know.
It's going to be so difficult waiting for the doctors appointment and also waiting for test results.
So so sorry about this pal 
I did my work experience in a HIV clinic and one things for certain the support system is amazing. Become an awareness speaker, find people in the same situation, and don't smoke/drink/eat red meat if worst comes to the worst
Yup I second this, that's completely illegal as he knew yet still had sex with you. I guess its harder if you love him
I did my work experience in a HIV clinic and one things for certain the support system is amazing. Become an awareness speaker, find people in the same situation, and don't smoke/drink/eat red meat if worst comes to the worst
Original post by ANM775
and you should report your bf to the relevant authorities. It is despicable to knowingly have sex with an uninformed person if you have hiv, and also illegal!
and you should report your bf to the relevant authorities. It is despicable to knowingly have sex with an uninformed person if you have hiv, and also illegal!
Yup I second this, that's completely illegal as he knew yet still had sex with you. I guess its harder if you love him
He's got an undetectable viral load and is on HIV medication so he's been told it's highly unlikely he could pass he virus on.
Original post by Anonymous
He's got an undetectable viral load and is on HIV medication so he's been told it's highly unlikely he could pass he virus on.
I was just thinking about that, so there is a chance. I know someone HIV+ but her load is so tiny her boyf isn't scared about sex with her as long as they use a condom
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