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Lack confidence, too shy need help
Hey guys
Im a 17 year old boy who lacks self confidence and is too scared socialise with strangers and especially girls. At many events i attend whether that would be at Events or parties i find im too scared to talk and introduce myself to strangers and girls. I dont have many friends who are girls and its kinda the sort of age where i should be socialising more with them and others, with Uni coming up soon. I feel my confidence has already let me down in secondary school and i wanna make a change in time for Uni. Ive never been bullied or anything like that but i am really really shy from a young age even at family events.
Anybody else go thru this or was in a similar situation please reply.
Im a 17 year old boy who lacks self confidence and is too scared socialise with strangers and especially girls. At many events i attend whether that would be at Events or parties i find im too scared to talk and introduce myself to strangers and girls. I dont have many friends who are girls and its kinda the sort of age where i should be socialising more with them and others, with Uni coming up soon. I feel my confidence has already let me down in secondary school and i wanna make a change in time for Uni. Ive never been bullied or anything like that but i am really really shy from a young age even at family events.
Anybody else go thru this or was in a similar situation please reply.
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welll im a girl but im also shy but i realized that being shy doesnt get anywhere so you hve 2 fight it and kinda get used 2 being around others u dont no
Try to look at Uni as a new start, if you act confident people will think you are and you will probably become confident
I was badly bullied at primary school and I saw comp as a new start and it worked, people don't know what you are like now so just look forward to it
I was badly bullied at primary school and I saw comp as a new start and it worked, people don't know what you are like now so just look forward to it
i really cant fight it. I really get nervous and look like im on edge like a crack addict. Im totally different around my mates and other people in skool.
Perhaps you could look into some counselling or something?
Pm me if you want to talk more
Pm me if you want to talk more
I was exactly the same as you back in secondary school (I'm nearly 20 now). I found it very hard socialising outside of people i didnt already know. Especially with girls.
Was the same for A levels, but then i started a whole new college after that with totally new people, no one i knew at all. So i guess i was forced to socialise for my own sanity.
Just throw your self at people. It's the only way, just get in a few words here or there. Show them you're funny, clever etc what ever your best trait is. Even if you only say something once in a while.
If new people you meet ask you if you want to go out clubing with them, just go. It's the best way to make friends and become more social.
That's waht happened for me anyway, and i feel alot better for it now.
Was the same for A levels, but then i started a whole new college after that with totally new people, no one i knew at all. So i guess i was forced to socialise for my own sanity.
Just throw your self at people. It's the only way, just get in a few words here or there. Show them you're funny, clever etc what ever your best trait is. Even if you only say something once in a while.
If new people you meet ask you if you want to go out clubing with them, just go. It's the best way to make friends and become more social.
That's waht happened for me anyway, and i feel alot better for it now.
Perhaps you could look into some counselling or something?
Pm me if you want to talk more
Pm me if you want to talk more
Maybe counselling is the answer. Ive been a very quiet person. I always think twice about doing something. And so i think my lack of confidence is down to the fact that i dont like to make a prat of myself. Thats why i find it so hard to talk to girls i dont know. I fear they will laugh in my face and literally tell me to p**s off. Thanks for the offer of help. Will try to use it but im really busy now with ASs so may contact u after that.
Megatronix ive tried and tried so hard to force my self to socialise but my mindset refuses. A mates party was at the weekend. I did not chat to or dance with one single girl there. There were about 30 of em. I really envy my mates who can chat up girls in literally 0.1 seconds.
Ok no problem
And girls don't tend to just tell people to "p**s" off
At least none I know
And girls don't tend to just tell people to "p**s" off
At least none I know
I think counselling is probably the answer here. Remember, girls arent some mythical godlike other species, theyre just people like you or me, and have similar problems and insecurities. People on the whole wont tell you to p**s off or anything like that, and if they do, so what theres millions more people in the world, something you'll realise if you go travelling or start a big uni i think. Treat people how you want to be treated, tag along with some mates and be flexable. Dont be so concerned about chatting up girls, feeling relaxed even in their presence is your first step. You're only 17, it will all come in time, but for now just relax and dont expect anything from conversations, take them for what they are at the moment. You went to the party, great, write that down, its a achievement. It will help you to write stuff like that down in a little book, and looking back you'll see actually you are making. progress.
Anonymous
Hey guys
Im a 17 year old boy who lacks self confidence and is too scared socialise with strangers and especially girls. At many events i attend whether that would be at Events or parties i find im too scared to talk and introduce myself to strangers and girls. I dont have many friends who are girls and its kinda the sort of age where i should be socialising more with them and others, with Uni coming up soon. I feel my confidence has already let me down in secondary school and i wanna make a change in time for Uni. Ive never been bullied or anything like that but i am really really shy from a young age even at family events.
Anybody else go thru this or was in a similar situation please reply.
Im a 17 year old boy who lacks self confidence and is too scared socialise with strangers and especially girls. At many events i attend whether that would be at Events or parties i find im too scared to talk and introduce myself to strangers and girls. I dont have many friends who are girls and its kinda the sort of age where i should be socialising more with them and others, with Uni coming up soon. I feel my confidence has already let me down in secondary school and i wanna make a change in time for Uni. Ive never been bullied or anything like that but i am really really shy from a young age even at family events.
Anybody else go thru this or was in a similar situation please reply.
I was always shy, even at family stuff like yourself. I got over it when I was about 15 when I lost a load of weight and started going out, meeting new people and forming relationships.
This may sound silly, but alcohol can be a social tool if used sensibly
Anonymous
i really cant fight it. I really get nervous and look like im on edge like a crack addict. Im totally different around my mates and other people in skool.
You have one life, I know what's it's like being shy, but it gets you no-where, so you just have to gulp and go for it.
yeah I'm shy, always have been. Around my mates I am not though.
Whats your underlying problem. It's obvously girl related...are you scared of rejection? self conscious? what is it?
and work on that.
Whats your underlying problem. It's obvously girl related...are you scared of rejection? self conscious? what is it?
and work on that.
well i have a strange problem also, i'm really confident and try to be as soical and bubbly as poss, but i find it really intimidating when placed in a situation with strong characters. i just feel totally undermined and my presence isnt felt because i cant speak up because their is already somebody in the limelight. i'm applying for a drama degree but i'm so terrified that the people i'm with are really strong confident ppl who will sort of ignore me or something. yeh it sounds silly but thats jus my lil issue.
anywho, the main point- smile a lot and chat about harry potter (it really does work! and i dont even like harry potter!)
anywho, the main point- smile a lot and chat about harry potter (it really does work! and i dont even like harry potter!)
Anonymous
well i have a strange problem also, i'm really confident and try to be as soical and bubbly as poss, but i find it really intimidating when placed in a situation with strong characters. i just feel totally undermined and my presence isnt felt because i cant speak up because their is already somebody in the limelight. i'm applying for a drama degree but i'm so terrified that the people i'm with are really strong confident ppl who will sort of ignore me or something. yeh it sounds silly but thats jus my lil issue.
anywho, the main point- smile a lot and chat about harry potter (it really does work! and i dont even like harry potter!)
anywho, the main point- smile a lot and chat about harry potter (it really does work! and i dont even like harry potter!)
yeh am like that too. i get nervous and shy around really strong characters, even tho i'm quite confident myself. anyone else like this?
Anonymous
well i have a strange problem also, i'm really confident and try to be as soical and bubbly as poss, but i find it really intimidating when placed in a situation with strong characters. i just feel totally undermined and my presence isnt felt because i cant speak up because their is already somebody in the limelight. i'm applying for a drama degree but i'm so terrified that the people i'm with are really strong confident ppl who will sort of ignore me or something. yeh it sounds silly but thats jus my lil issue.
anywho, the main point- smile a lot and chat about harry potter (it really does work! and i dont even like harry potter!)
anywho, the main point- smile a lot and chat about harry potter (it really does work! and i dont even like harry potter!)
I sympathise. You just have to understand that you'll click better with some people than others. I recently had a drink with three other lads a bit older, and although more is expected of me socially, I felt my head shrinking into my body, just couldn't say anything. Part of the reason is I can't stand to have a random kind of conversation where there's not much coherence-I only really say what I think or mean so there isn't much to say.
trinkets
I'm a bit like that too francescarella and Anon. If I see someone else looking nervous/shy I'll suddenly be more confident but if I'm the shy one and everyone else looks confident I'll totally go into my shell. It's ****e...
I'm exactly the same! If I am in a group of 2/3 people and the others are quite quiet or if they are friends of mine, then I am fine and like to speak up and participate fully. However, if I don't know them or find that they are confident and outgoing I get freaked out and stay silent because I am too scared that I will make a fool out of myself. It's so annyoing.
Anonymous
I'm exactly the same! If I am in a group of 2/3 people and the others are quite quiet or if they are friends of mine, then I am fine and like to speak up and participate fully. However, if I don't know them or find that they are confident and outgoing I get freaked out and stay silent because I am too scared that I will make a fool out of myself. It's so annyoing.
Nice to know I'm not the only one! I'm just trying to act more confident around all people (not just the shy/quiet ones) but sometimes it's so hard to overcome your nerves
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