social HELP with UNI

hi this is my first post here. :smile:

I THINK I need help. BAsically I have paid to go clubbing at my university tonight and this is the first time ever I will be staying out after 9/10ish. I have always concentrated on studying but today after failing to make any friends due to my shyness(which just agitated the hell out of me :mad:

),I just decided to throw myself at this,come whatever may.

I haven't really met anyone to go with, so I am going alone but I need to know what should I do if I want to have a good time there and make a few buddies? Also, is there any chance that I can may be meet some nice girls as well...............? any good advice will be repped :yy:

.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Strange question; but you're not at oxford, by any chance?

Reply 2

BIN_RAIDER

OP

ammmmmmm......why? and why are you anonymous? lol :p:

Anyways got any advice for me..........Please I am getting kind of edgy now and seriously considering whether to go or not. :redface:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Just because Oxford is the only university I know of which has it's freshers week this week, and there's a system whereby you can pay in advance to go clubbing. Plus I'm there - so might be better placed to give more specific advice!

Reply 4

BIN_RAIDER

OP

Anonymous

Just because Oxford is the only university I know of which has it's freshers week this week, and there's a system whereby you can pay in advance to go clubbing. Plus I'm there - so might be better placed to give more specific advice!

oh ok. I am not at oxford but may be you can still give me some general advice on what should I do and things may be....... :redface:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Ok, as regards actual advice, are you meeting in a bar (maybe college bar) with the other freshers before you go down? You could try to chat to some people there and then you'd have a group to dance with at the club. Are there any second years from your college's freshers' committee accompanying you - you could chat to them and explain that you're feeling shy - they're obliged to be nice! Also, it doesn't matter in a club if you're not that good at talking - the music's too loud for people to hear each other anyway. Also, you might feel more relaxed if you have something to drink? Good luck!

Reply 6

SingIt!

heyy..all you need to do is that even if you are shy or lacking confidence just ACT!! Smile and be approachable by going up to people..also a good tip is that people like to talk about themselves so ask question about THEM! for example "what courses are you taking? where do you come from? how are you finding everything etc" people dont like talking to grumpy or sad people...so be happy!
hope that helps!
xx

Reply 7

BIN_RAIDER

OP

Anonymous

Ok, as regards actual advice, are you meeting in a bar (maybe college bar) with the other freshers before you go down? You could try to chat to some people there and then you'd have a group to dance with at the club. Are there any second years from your college's freshers' committee accompanying you - you could chat to them and explain that you're feeling shy - they're obliged to be nice! Also, it doesn't matter in a club if you're not that good at talking - the music's too loud for people to hear each other anyway. Also, you might feel more relaxed if you have something to drink? Good luck!

If you weren't anonymous,I would've repped you for this. Thanks a million...........

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

Just because Oxford is the only university I know of which has it's freshers week this week, and there's a system whereby you can pay in advance to go clubbing. Plus I'm there - so might be better placed to give more specific advice!

LSE, Bristol, Cambridge and Warwick all have their freshers week this week (the ones i know). Are you in any of them OP?

Anyway, I suggest just going down to the bar, or social gathering point of your halls of residence (if you are in one), introduce yourself get past the small talk (where you from, course) and ask questions which require more thought (ie family, describe the place you live, any things/events you're gonig to do in the week).

It can be hard to go up to people and introduce yourself - but just go for it! If you find you're only seem to really click with one person don't sweat it! Making friends takes time!

Don't do what I'm doing now, i've only been here for 4 days and I'm already annoyed that I don't seem to know everyone because i feel i only "know" a certain groups people :mad:

Reply 9

BIN_RAIDER

OP

SingIt!

heyy..all you need to do is that even if you are shy or lacking confidence just ACT!! Smile and be approachable by going up to people..also a good tip is that people like to talk about themselves so ask question about THEM! for example "what courses are you taking? where do you come from? how are you finding everything etc" people dont like talking to grumpy or sad people...so be happy!
hope that helps!
xx

hehe....good advice sing it and Anon 2. :biggrin:

. Keep 'em coming..........

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

I'm at uni and my whole college seemed to go out to a nightclub tonight. We were meant to meet at 7pm in the bar and some second year students would take all the freshers down. I got there at 7pm, saw that the bar was practically empty (just 10/15 people around a table), freaked out, and went back to my room. I'm too anxious, scared and shy to deal with these kind of social situations - I keep feeling that people are staring at me or think I am some kind of freak for trying to join in with "their" group.

Then, at about 7.15pm, I saw everyone walking down to the club. By this time it was way too late for me to go and join them so I am now stuck in my room for the night completely alone and feeling like I want to go home. :frown:

Reply 11

kitty_koo

12

ive been down to the uni bar on my own more than once- mainly because most of my flat dont go out :s:

its nerve-wracking when i get there and cant see anyone i recognize, but i just order a drink have another look around and wait for someone i know to arrive :redface:

but ive also made new friends that way: just look for others who arent in a big group and go up to them and introduce yourself- they'll probably be glad to talk to someone as well :p:

Reply 12

BIN_RAIDER

OP

Anonymous

I'm at uni and my whole college seemed to go out to a nightclub tonight. We were meant to meet at 7pm in the bar and some second year students would take all the freshers down. I got there at 7pm, saw that the bar was practically empty (just 10/15 people around a table), freaked out, and went back to my room. I'm too anxious, scared and shy to deal with these kind of social situations - I keep feeling that people are staring at me or think I am some kind of freak for trying to join in with "their" group.

Then, at about 7.15pm, I saw everyone walking down to the club. By this time it was way too late for me to go and join them so I am now stuck in my room for the night completely alone and feeling like I want to go home. :frown:

OK. THAT would have been ME until last night! I can truely relate to your freaking out bit and let me tell you something,even the best advises in the world do not work when people freak out. Like me,what you need to do is just throw yourself at these social situations without thinking about it. I think the best of us think with our brain too much in that we think people are staring,talking about us which leads to the feeling of anxiousness,shyness and so on,stopping you from having a good time. Let me tell you something just do not think about others,it is about you so you should just go and have a good time.

I certainly got my reward by doing so and IT was freaking awesome I tell you.

By the way,I didn't go to the bar before I went to the club and still met tonnes of people. So rather than hindering, it actually helped me to meet people in half dark environment. You do not necessarily have to join big groups and once you are inside the nightclub for a while and people are drunk,you could just go and dance with anyone really. Some will be too pissed to even care

Next time,just GO TO IT. you will be fine :biggrin:

social HELP with UNI

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