This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

My appearance getting me down to the point I want to end my life :'(

Idk if some of you know or are aware about my depression going on for a long time now.
Sometimes I feel normal about my appearance sometimes I feel like the most ugliest beast in this world.
I stand in front of the mirror just looking at why god created me or whoever created me for the matter.
Furthur on I have been feeling so bad lately about my appearance especially when I have started university, it is like no matter how much I try to improve my appearance there is always going to be something to bring my self esteem down and this hurts me a lot to the point that I want to end my life.
:'(
i left my lecture early today because I was so so so depressed about my appearance. It really gets me down.
I also plan not to go to my lecture tommorow as well because I feel really really depressed & terrible about my appearance it really breaks my heart.
I am really sucidal about this as i have been going through this problem for more 4 years and its taking over my life !
:frown:

the thing is I need to be constantly told that I am "pretty" or something nice about me so I can feel re-assured ...I know this might sound a bit of attention , but I like to get attention and its a problem for me, the thing is at work loads of people tell me im "beautiful" "pretty" etc and I get the compliemnts so i feel fine for the day , but next day i want more more more, however at school i never get compliments, and not even at uni....these girls were taling about beauty and told my new friend thats shes pretty and yes she is but i couldnt help but feel ugly ....its pathetic, its discusting and this jealousy or low self esteem should never be there at all! its driving me insane and its killing me inside to the pont I am considering taking over my life...its like to the young people im not attractive and to the slightly older people than me find me attractive! everything is all over the place i just dont know what to do and its really getting me down...its got so bad i constantly buy myself clothes to make myself feel good in them but it always ruins , and i feel bad in the clothes so i return them...i wear heels all the time, my feet are filled with pain and blisters but yet i cope and wak on to make myself feel simply happy....its all killing me in the long run ...and i feel like ending my life...
to some of u it might mean nothing but to others that can understand might know where im comming from ...and it doesnt help when my parents are constantly making me feel miserable about my appearance...my dad told me once "your not all that so stop dressing so much" and that hurt me so bad, and i started to self harm...and i am considering self harming again as its continiously killing me .... :frown:

someone help me!

and please be serious about this , as its hurting me so bad... :frown:

Reply 1

vector

15

I have an idea of where you are coming from. My advice is that it is amazing what difference a little bit of extra effort can make. Go out and get a new outfit that looks amazing, get your hair styled or get a makeover. Do something just completely for yourself :smile:

Your Dad is bound to say things like that - parents always do. Maybe he's just jealous of your youth :wink:

Overall, get out there, talk to new people and forget about what they think. Once you do you'll be amazed how many people disagree with your opinion on your appearance :wink:

All the best :smile:

Reply 2

Angelic_19

2

I know you've probably heard this before.......
I think you should learn to LOVE yourself more and your confidence will become stronger. Looks don't last forever anyway. There's no point having good looks with a crap personality.

You need to look inside yourself and realise what a wonderful person you are and build up confidence that way. Smile and be happy :smile:

To be honest...put things into perspective. In the grand scheme of things...does having good looks really matter??? Just be glad that you've got a face with a pair of eyes, nose,ears and mouth...and a body with legs and arms.....and a healthy body. Some people don't even have that........

I know you're probably thinking 'yeh whatever..thats doesn't help me'...but HONESTLY you should think of things that way.

Atleast your healthy and not physically disabled, which can actually cause problems for yourself and your family.

Reply 3

FoeGeddaBowDeet

Go to a doctor is the only advice you need.

Reply 4

bipolar_clown

I used to hate the way I look so much that I didn't want to go out because I felt bad for inflicting my ugliness on the world. The thing is, the more you focus on the bad the more it takes you over. At least, that's what happened with me. One negative thought would inspire others and it would go on. Every day, try and find one positive thing about your appearance, and everyday it must be a different thing. I'm sure you'll find something :smile:

If you have positive thoughts it will help.

Reply 5

Angrybanana

11

This sounds like a psychological issue rather than a physical one.
Does this sound like you?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/bodydysmorphia1.shtml

Reply 6

Speedbird2008

3

Hmm, I suggest you go to a rural African village, where all the kids have no water or food, and think to yourself what you do have, rather what you don't.

Depression is horrible, but I suggest you do some excercise (it makes you feel SOO much better) and try and have a nice healthy lifestyle, maybe take up a few new hobbies.

Or visit Scotland or Wales and go to somewhere really rural, camping etc, all alone, with no-on else, and try to get to the bottom of the issue.

Failing that, go and see your GP, he/she will help. :smile:

xx

Reply 7

Jim-ie

14

If you post a picture am sure people here would be willing to give you advice on what you can do to make yourself look a lot better, making yourself feel a lot better in the end. I will too.

Reply 8

Nadinus

1

Angelic_19

I know you've probably heard this before.......
I think you should learn to LOVE yourself more and your confidence will become stronger. Looks don't last forever anyway. There's no point having good looks with a crap personality.

You need to look inside yourself and realise what a wonderful person you are and build up confidence that way. Smile and be happy :smile:

To be honest...put things into perspective. In the grand scheme of things...does having good looks really matter??? Just be glad that you've got a face with a pair of eyes, nose,ears and mouth...and a body with legs and arms.....and a healthy body. Some people don't even have that........

I know you're probably thinking 'yeh whatever..thats doesn't help me'...but HONESTLY you should think of things that way.

Atleast your healthy and not physically disabled, which can actually cause problems for yourself and your family.

I agree with this completely.

Also, I think the people who are saying "get over yourself" (or words to that effect) are being a bit harsh. It's pretty clear that your actual looks are not the root of your problem, it's a general self-esteem problem. It sounds to me like you're not acknowleging this fact, because it's so much easier to put the blame on to your exterior.
Like Angelic said, you need to find confidence inside yourself, have faith in who you are because - and I know this will sound so cliché - everyone is individual. Everyone has something to offer to the world, and don't let anyone crush you.
To be honest, I would say that getting compliments is making things worse, because you're thriving on something which really isn't important AT ALL (except to shallow guys). By getting a kick out of them, you're allowing this obsession to continue. You have to realise that it makes NO difference to who you are, or how people see you.

Reply 9

Lara C.

3

i know im obliged to give you sympathy here but if you think looks are that important you are one shallow person. if you are not as pretty as you would like to be (and 99.9% of people arent) then why make it the focus of your life? the best looking you can be is determined by your genes, which you cant change. so why not do something which you can change? focus on your personality or other acheivments. people respect achievement ALOT more than just good looks.

Reply 10

PinkMobilePhone

22

I can't help but think that you're being shallow aswell. I don't like the way I look, but I'm healthy and I have a family that loves me, food to eat, a roof over my head... THOSE things are the important things in life. So what if my stomach is saggy, my breasts sag, my nose is a tad too big, my butt has cellulite, and I'm covered in stretchmarks? These things suck, but my God there are far far worse things to be inflicted with!

I think you should start counting your blessings. Ever seen Pollyanna? (old Hayley Mills film). She plays a game called the glad game. For every negative thing you can think of, try and turn it into a positive.
(In the film she uses the example that she gets sent a pair of crutches instead of a doll by the missionaries - but she decides she's glad she doesn't have to use them :smile:

)

Reply 11

foss

i don't care what people look like! i care about how they act - that what rearlly matters! try to concentrate on the good things in life - not the bad!

Reply 12

MissHero

1

Ever heard of this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

What you're describing sounds like alot more than vanity or shallowness, I hope you can get some help.

Reply 13

Angrybanana

11

Jim-ie

If you post a picture am sure people here would be willing to give you advice on what you can do to make yourself look a lot better, making yourself feel a lot better in the end. I will too.

I wouldn't try to persuade the OP to do this. There are some cruel and stupid people on the net and if she's already so depressed about her looks then one nasty comment from an idiot could tip her over the edge.

Reply 14

at_amber

Speedbird2006

Hmm, I suggest you go to a rural African village, where all the kids have no water or food, and think to yourself what you do have, rather what you don't.

oh dont PATRONISE so

Reply 15

minimo

15

PinkMobilePhone

I can't help but think that you're being shallow aswell. I don't like the way I look, but I'm healthy and I have a family that loves me, food to eat, a roof over my head... THOSE things are the important things in life. So what if my stomach is saggy, my breasts sag, my nose is a tad too big, my butt has cellulite, and I'm covered in stretchmarks? These things suck, but my God there are far far worse things to be inflicted with!

I think you should start counting your blessings. Ever seen Pollyanna? (old Hayley Mills film). She plays a game called the glad game. For every negative thing you can think of, try and turn it into a positive.
(In the film she uses the example that she gets sent a pair of crutches instead of a doll by the missionaries - but she decides she's glad she doesn't have to use them :smile:

)

Fair enough, but trust me I know how the OP feels. And whilst I have a lot of things to be thankful for, it's human nature to feel bad about some things.

I've had my fair share of bullying, and oh, dear God, I normally do hate how I look. However, I've realised that attitude gets you nowhere in life. Now I make a point to dress nice/stylishly even if it's just to lectures. I do my hair as best I can and use makeup every day (pressed powder, blusher, illuminator and something for the lips). OP if you need to lose weight, do that, it helped my confidence loads.

As for myself, I'm hardly confident even now, BUT I'm determined to put myself out there. There are some pretty awful munters out there with successful relationships and/or careers etc. And there's nothing stopping me achieving that either.

Reply 16

minimo

15

Angrybanana

I wouldn't try to persuade the OP to do this. There are some cruel and stupid people on the net and if she's already so depressed about her looks then one nasty comment from an idiot could tip her over the edge.

Reply 17

Arteta

15

The way i see it, when i'm out and about and people look at me...it's a compliment. Especially in Nottingham there's so many hot people around, so i feel good when people turn their heads and look at me, i don't need to hear compliments...neither should you, because you get complimented more than you know.

Reply 18

Jim-ie

14

Angrybanana

I wouldn't try to persuade the OP to do this. There are some cruel and stupid people on the net and if she's already so depressed about her looks then one nasty comment from an idiot could tip her over the edge.

Suppose your right.

Reply 19

Jolae

Dac_10

i know im obliged to give you sympathy here but if you think looks are that important you are one shallow person. if you are not as pretty as you would like to be (and 99.9% of people arent) then why make it the focus of your life? the best looking you can be is determined by your genes, which you cant change. so why not do something which you can change? focus on your personality or other acheivments. people respect achievement ALOT more than just good looks.

It's like in poker, the guy who gets lucky is usually a bad player (genes), whereas the ones with the true skills are seen as good players (acheivments, personality) :suitc:

Relating real life to cards right there! Strangely enough, thats where i've got all my confidence from, accepting the fact that a game of chance requires an element of skill for one to be good and it is sooo true to real life! I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but i can accept that! I dont need to rely on a pretty face for anything, i have a wonderful girlfriend and all of this because i recognise and take preference for my acheivments, personality and skills.

Its funny but it seems your depression is all down to chance (given 99.9% of all people aren't happy with the way they look), and therefore giving way to a simple solution - focusing on your other positive attributes and accepting your looks for what you look like. Things like looking in the mirror everday and saying out loud, 'i am funny', 'i am intelligent', 'i love this shirt' etc.

My appearance getting me down to the point I want to end my life :'(

Related discussions

Articles for you