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My appearance getting me down to the point I want to end my life :'(
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Reply 20
SixMinuteMile
Go to a doctor is the only advice you need.
Agree completely.
Reply 21
I have had the same problem, imagine your dad saying to you:
"I am not going to lead you on or anything, but the reality is - you look slow and girls know it" (after I was talking about my experiences with different girls with him)...Since that time I have kept facial hair, because I know why he said that and it is because my lower jaw droops downwards - this is apparent when I am clean shaven because there is nothing to hide it and my lower jaw looks as though it is 3 mm to the right along with my face being longated.
Saying that, I have had my fair share of compliments too - but because my self-esteem is pretty low I can never take them seriously. (I need jaw treatment)
Now, when I talk to girls I don't rely on my looks at all, I rely on my charm with them and it works. I am a guy so sorry I can't help you out, but I could imagine for girls it is a bit more easier as you are not expected to make the first move.
In addition to make up for my imperfection, I concentrate on my style and put a lot of emphasize on other things such as my height, my bodyweight, my hair.
The way you style your hair, carry yourself, and dress can really change your apparence. Also, before I talk to any girl or I am in a social gathering, I make sure that I forget about all my insecurities, and think to myself they are only human and that the worse that could happen is that they could tell me to "***** off" - so it isn't that bad. It is their loss.
"I am not going to lead you on or anything, but the reality is - you look slow and girls know it" (after I was talking about my experiences with different girls with him)...Since that time I have kept facial hair, because I know why he said that and it is because my lower jaw droops downwards - this is apparent when I am clean shaven because there is nothing to hide it and my lower jaw looks as though it is 3 mm to the right along with my face being longated.
Saying that, I have had my fair share of compliments too - but because my self-esteem is pretty low I can never take them seriously. (I need jaw treatment)
Now, when I talk to girls I don't rely on my looks at all, I rely on my charm with them and it works. I am a guy so sorry I can't help you out, but I could imagine for girls it is a bit more easier as you are not expected to make the first move.
In addition to make up for my imperfection, I concentrate on my style and put a lot of emphasize on other things such as my height, my bodyweight, my hair.
The way you style your hair, carry yourself, and dress can really change your apparence. Also, before I talk to any girl or I am in a social gathering, I make sure that I forget about all my insecurities, and think to myself they are only human and that the worse that could happen is that they could tell me to "***** off" - so it isn't that bad. It is their loss.
Reply 22
I think most people could relate to some degree to what you are saying as I think society places such an emphasis on looks that it is is impossible to truly remain immune to the pressure to look good. I just think however, you have crossed the line and instead of taking an interest in your appearance, you have become obsessed with it and it has taken over your life. I think most obsessions are symptomatic of wider issues such as depression and low self esteem so I think you should recognise that instead of being "shallow", you are in fact only exhibiting the indicators of a more serious and certainly not superficial problem.
If you could try and not obsess quite so much over your appearance then I obviously think that this would help. I am perhaps a little skeptical however that such an easy cure can be found as you haven't chosen to be this conscious of your looks thus I doubt you can actually control this obsession enough to end it. I think maybe the best plan of action would be to seek professional help on the issue. I know you may feel silly sharing this seemingly trivial problem with others but if it is taking over your life and making you suicidal then I really think most people would recognise that there is something SERIOUSLY wrong. I doubt very much that you would live with any other illness that was blighting your life to such a degree so why should you just accept this one?
If you could try and not obsess quite so much over your appearance then I obviously think that this would help. I am perhaps a little skeptical however that such an easy cure can be found as you haven't chosen to be this conscious of your looks thus I doubt you can actually control this obsession enough to end it. I think maybe the best plan of action would be to seek professional help on the issue. I know you may feel silly sharing this seemingly trivial problem with others but if it is taking over your life and making you suicidal then I really think most people would recognise that there is something SERIOUSLY wrong. I doubt very much that you would live with any other illness that was blighting your life to such a degree so why should you just accept this one?
Reply 23
I agree with envious, that it is societies programming that makes us feel insecure by giving us fake ideals to live up to. This is also a cruel distraction from exploring your own life as everyone should.
Part of the solution is to never watch TV or pick up a glossy lifestyle magazine again. I dont' watch TV anymore, for different reasons though and I don't miss it one bit. To be honest when I come into a room where some trash TV is on, which is 98% of whats on, i am gobsmacked at the terrible garbage that is being pushed at people.
Part of the solution is to never watch TV or pick up a glossy lifestyle magazine again. I dont' watch TV anymore, for different reasons though and I don't miss it one bit. To be honest when I come into a room where some trash TV is on, which is 98% of whats on, i am gobsmacked at the terrible garbage that is being pushed at people.
Reply 24
Angelic_19
To be honest...put things into perspective. In the grand scheme of things...does having good looks really matter??? Just be glad that you've got a face with a pair of eyes, nose,ears and mouth...and a body with legs and arms.....and a healthy body. Some people don't even have that........
Atleast your healthy and not physically disabled, which can actually cause problems for yourself and your family.
To be honest...put things into perspective. In the grand scheme of things...does having good looks really matter??? Just be glad that you've got a face with a pair of eyes, nose,ears and mouth...and a body with legs and arms.....and a healthy body. Some people don't even have that........
Atleast your healthy and not physically disabled, which can actually cause problems for yourself and your family.
I don't think it's very helpful to suggest those types of sentiments. You're basically suggesting that people who are disabled have inherently lower quality of life and able-bodied people have inherently better quality of life. It's insulting to everyone because it suggest the able-bodied should feel guilty and that disabled people should expect less from their lives and expectations of achievement and happiness. The OP is not disabled as far as we know and when you have no experience of it, how on earth are you supposed to feel grateful for not being 'afflicted' by it?
It's not enough in life to wake up each morning and go skipping down the road shooting rainbows out your ass because you don't have cancer and some kids don't have clean drinking water like you do. You have to sort your own life out to be happy. If the OP is unhappy because she's comparing herself to others then what part of trying to make herself feel better by comparing herself to others is a healthy thing to do?
Reply 25
Speedbird2006
Hmm, I suggest you go to a rural African village, where all the kids have no water or food, and think to yourself what you do have, rather what you don't.
Why would that make YOU think about what YOU did have? Unless you're totally sick and twisted that should make you think about what THEY don't have. Seeing kids starving should not be a way to make yourself feel better about your life, that's such a patronising and sickening suggestion I can't even believe it.
Reply 26
I think it's unnessacary (and pointless) to take the "don't be so shallow" tone. Fine, it's a valid opinion, but it's not going to make the OP feel any better. If they hate the way they look a comment about kids in Africa isn't going to make them have a change of outlook. I suggest you talk to your doctor about cognitive behavioural therapy when you talk about how you feel. It might help you change the way you think about yourself.
Reply 27
15
To speedbird or whatever, why would you come in here and say that? What exactly have you achieved?
Reply 28
puppy
I don't think it's very helpful to suggest those types of sentiments. You're basically suggesting that people who are disabled have inherently lower quality of life and able-bodied people have inherently better quality of life. It's insulting to everyone because it suggest the able-bodied should feel guilty and that disabled people should expect less from their lives and expectations of achievement and happiness. The OP is not disabled as far as we know and when you have no experience of it, how on earth are you supposed to feel grateful for not being 'afflicted' by it?
It's not enough in life to wake up each morning and go skipping down the road shooting rainbows out your ass because you don't have cancer and some kids don't have clean drinking water like you do. You have to sort your own life out to be happy. If the OP is unhappy because she's comparing herself to others then what part of trying to make herself feel better by comparing herself to others is a healthy thing to do?
It's not enough in life to wake up each morning and go skipping down the road shooting rainbows out your ass because you don't have cancer and some kids don't have clean drinking water like you do. You have to sort your own life out to be happy. If the OP is unhappy because she's comparing herself to others then what part of trying to make herself feel better by comparing herself to others is a healthy thing to do?
I don't mean it in a deragatory way. I would never mean that. But yeh some disabled people do live a lower quality of life. I have an aunt that is mentally and physically disabled. I've seen the pain she has to go through due to certain matters.All i was saying that seeing the position she is in, it makes me grateful that i am healthy.
Money,looks and other things just become so insignificant when you realise that there are people facing real problems out there....
Being goodlooking shouldn't be priority in someone's life.
I dunno thats just a perspective on things. ..
Reply 29
puppy
I don't think it's very helpful to suggest those types of sentiments. You're basically suggesting that people who are disabled have inherently lower quality of life and able-bodied people have inherently better quality of life. It's insulting to everyone because it suggest the able-bodied should feel guilty and that disabled people should expect less from their lives and expectations of achievement and happiness. The OP is not disabled as far as we know and when you have no experience of it, how on earth are you supposed to feel grateful for not being 'afflicted' by it?
It's not enough in life to wake up each morning and go skipping down the road shooting rainbows out your ass because you don't have cancer and some kids don't have clean drinking water like you do. You have to sort your own life out to be happy. If the OP is unhappy because she's comparing herself to others then what part of trying to make herself feel better by comparing herself to others is a healthy thing to do?
It's not enough in life to wake up each morning and go skipping down the road shooting rainbows out your ass because you don't have cancer and some kids don't have clean drinking water like you do. You have to sort your own life out to be happy. If the OP is unhappy because she's comparing herself to others then what part of trying to make herself feel better by comparing herself to others is a healthy thing to do?
I think Angelic_19 does have a valid point. Without necessarily generalising, it's fair to say that many disabled people are faced with more permanent obstacles in life than a lot of fully healthy able bodied people and it would be silly, if politically correct to pretend otherwise. That's not to say that an able-bodied person's problem are less distressing to them, but there is no harm in being grateful for things that make you more fortunate, and having perspective on your problems.
EDIT: I'm not applying this to the OP though because her preoccupation with her looks is, as envious said, a manifestation of deeper underlying issues rather than a shallow obsession.
Reply 30
15
Hmmm, I'd say my quality of life is ironically lowered more by the fact most people think of me as being ugly (because that in turn drops my confidence to rock bottom) rather than the fact I have a disability (because that hasn't stopped me acheiving anything I wanted to.) Though you could say that my disability makes me wear glasses which make me ugly and hence having a disability does worsen my quality of life... 
Meh.
Meh.
Reply 31
vector
I have an idea of where you are coming from. My advice is that it is amazing what difference a little bit of extra effort can make. Go out and get a new outfit that looks amazing, get your hair styled or get a makeover. Do something just completely for yourself 
Your Dad is bound to say things like that - parents always do. Maybe he's just jealous of your youth 
Overall, get out there, talk to new people and forget about what they think. Once you do you'll be amazed how many people disagree with your opinion on your appearance
All the best
Your Dad is bound to say things like that - parents always do. Maybe he's just jealous of your youth Overall, get out there, talk to new people and forget about what they think. Once you do you'll be amazed how many people disagree with your opinion on your appearance
All the best
WTF. Dude you just basically told her that its all her fault because she doesn't try hard enough.
Reply 32
20
minimo
Hmmm, I'd say my quality of life is ironically lowered more by the fact most people think of me as being ugly (because that in turn drops my confidence to rock bottom) rather than the fact I have a disability (because that hasn't stopped me acheiving anything I wanted to.) Though you could say that my disability makes me wear glasses which make me ugly and hence having a disability does worsen my quality of life...
Meh.
Meh.
From hereon in I've just decided to proceed on the (somewhat plausible) assumption that I'm good-looking, because female opinion has run the gamut from "ugly as sin" to "absolutely gorgeous" and I've everything to gain by pandering to that 0.1%.
Reply 33
15
Music_Enthusiast
WTF. Dude you just basically told her that its all her fault because she doesn't try hard enough.
He's right in a way though, I look a lot better when I've made a decent effort, everyone does!
Reply 34
15
Profesh
From hereon in I've just decided to proceed on the (somewhat plausible) assumption that I'm good-looking, because female opinion has run the gamut from "ugly as sin" to "absolutely gorgeous" and I've everything to gain by pandering to that 0.1%.
Hmmm, maybe I should listen to my mum then
Reply 35
Anonymous.
Idk if some of you know or are aware about my depression going on for a long time now.
Sometimes I feel normal about my appearance sometimes I feel like the most ugliest beast in this world.
I stand in front of the mirror just looking at why god created me or whoever created me for the matter.
Furthur on I have been feeling so bad lately about my appearance especially when I have started university, it is like no matter how much I try to improve my appearance there is always going to be something to bring my self esteem down and this hurts me a lot to the point that I want to end my life.
:'(
i left my lecture early today because I was so so so depressed about my appearance. It really gets me down.
I also plan not to go to my lecture tommorow as well because I feel really really depressed & terrible about my appearance it really breaks my heart.
I am really sucidal about this as i have been going through this problem for more 4 years and its taking over my life !
the thing is I need to be constantly told that I am "pretty" or something nice about me so I can feel re-assured ...I know this might sound a bit of attention , but I like to get attention and its a problem for me, the thing is at work loads of people tell me im "beautiful" "pretty" etc and I get the compliemnts so i feel fine for the day , but next day i want more more more, however at school i never get compliments, and not even at uni....these girls were taling about beauty and told my new friend thats shes pretty and yes she is but i couldnt help but feel ugly ....its pathetic, its discusting and this jealousy or low self esteem should never be there at all! its driving me insane and its killing me inside to the pont I am considering taking over my life...its like to the young people im not attractive and to the slightly older people than me find me attractive! everything is all over the place i just dont know what to do and its really getting me down...its got so bad i constantly buy myself clothes to make myself feel good in them but it always ruins , and i feel bad in the clothes so i return them...i wear heels all the time, my feet are filled with pain and blisters but yet i cope and wak on to make myself feel simply happy....its all killing me in the long run ...and i feel like ending my life...
to some of u it might mean nothing but to others that can understand might know where im comming from ...and it doesnt help when my parents are constantly making me feel miserable about my appearance...my dad told me once "your not all that so stop dressing so much" and that hurt me so bad, and i started to self harm...and i am considering self harming again as its continiously killing me .... someone help me!
and please be serious about this , as its hurting me so bad...
Sometimes I feel normal about my appearance sometimes I feel like the most ugliest beast in this world.
I stand in front of the mirror just looking at why god created me or whoever created me for the matter.
Furthur on I have been feeling so bad lately about my appearance especially when I have started university, it is like no matter how much I try to improve my appearance there is always going to be something to bring my self esteem down and this hurts me a lot to the point that I want to end my life.
:'(
i left my lecture early today because I was so so so depressed about my appearance. It really gets me down.
I also plan not to go to my lecture tommorow as well because I feel really really depressed & terrible about my appearance it really breaks my heart.
I am really sucidal about this as i have been going through this problem for more 4 years and its taking over my life !
the thing is I need to be constantly told that I am "pretty" or something nice about me so I can feel re-assured ...I know this might sound a bit of attention , but I like to get attention and its a problem for me, the thing is at work loads of people tell me im "beautiful" "pretty" etc and I get the compliemnts so i feel fine for the day , but next day i want more more more, however at school i never get compliments, and not even at uni....these girls were taling about beauty and told my new friend thats shes pretty and yes she is but i couldnt help but feel ugly ....its pathetic, its discusting and this jealousy or low self esteem should never be there at all! its driving me insane and its killing me inside to the pont I am considering taking over my life...its like to the young people im not attractive and to the slightly older people than me find me attractive! everything is all over the place i just dont know what to do and its really getting me down...its got so bad i constantly buy myself clothes to make myself feel good in them but it always ruins , and i feel bad in the clothes so i return them...i wear heels all the time, my feet are filled with pain and blisters but yet i cope and wak on to make myself feel simply happy....its all killing me in the long run ...and i feel like ending my life...to some of u it might mean nothing but to others that can understand might know where im comming from ...and it doesnt help when my parents are constantly making me feel miserable about my appearance...my dad told me once "your not all that so stop dressing so much" and that hurt me so bad, and i started to self harm...and i am considering self harming again as its continiously killing me ....
someone help me!and please be serious about this , as its hurting me so bad...
please stop worrying. good looks are only on the outside and mean very little to anyone with any intelligence. you have your whole wonderful life ahead of you, most people dont make judgement
on looks anyway, as for the less inteligent people that do, is it really worth ending your life for. i had a relative who killed himself and that wasnt beautiful, it was really ugly. hang on in there , youll look back in years to come and think , well maybe I was a bit silly to think like this
Reply 36
15
Mikemaria
please stop worrying. good looks are only on the outside and mean very little to anyone with any intelligence. you have your whole wonderful life ahead of you, most people dont make judgement
on looks anyway, as for the less inteligent people that do, is it really worth ending your life for. i had a relative who killed himself and that wasnt beautiful, it was really ugly. hang on in there , youll look back in years to come and think , well maybe I was a bit silly to think like this
on looks anyway, as for the less inteligent people that do, is it really worth ending your life for. i had a relative who killed himself and that wasnt beautiful, it was really ugly. hang on in there , youll look back in years to come and think , well maybe I was a bit silly to think like this
Can you look me in the (e-)eye and say that you would honestly have a relationship with someone YOU considered (I agree, it doesn't matter what other people think) munter? It's a fact of life that men want mates they find attractive - procreation and all that! Good looks might not matter that much in terms of finding friends, but on the relationship-front it SO does.
Reply 37
My advice: Constantly look in the mirror and repeat the following: I am a confident and sexy woman who deserves a voice. Repeat this untill you are convinced.
Reply 38
20
Mikemaria
please stop worrying. good looks are only on the outside and mean very little to anyone with any intelligence. you have your whole wonderful life ahead of you, most people dont make judgement
on looks anyway, as for the less inteligent people that do, is it really worth ending your life for. i had a relative who killed himself and that wasnt beautiful, it was really ugly. hang on in there , youll look back in years to come and think , well maybe I was a bit silly to think like this
on looks anyway, as for the less inteligent people that do, is it really worth ending your life for. i had a relative who killed himself and that wasnt beautiful, it was really ugly. hang on in there , youll look back in years to come and think , well maybe I was a bit silly to think like this
Speaking as an intelligent person (at any rate, evidently more so than you are), I can attest that this is utter balls. Although far from being conventionally 'shallow', I nonetheless prefer my women curvaceous and well-proportioned; what's more, I have in the past felt a palpable physical revulsion towards women that are exceedingly overweight (i.e. beyond the optimal threshhold to the point of actual, effective disfigurement).
Reply 39
We are all created by God. All he does is exceptional.
You are expectional.
p.d: bless u
You are expectional.
p.d: bless u
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