My flatmate won't leave me alone

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Mary1708
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#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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Hello, I am an MA student and I have been living in a flat (with 9 other people, all of them are students) for 7 months. There were 8 guys and 2 girls (including me). There is this PhD guy who really annoys me. Soon after we met the first time, he called me (on the phone) almost everyday. Because I was not even close to him, I ignored him but then he was angry. I told him that I was not used to being called. He did ask me out (to walk in the park or to grab drinks) but I didn't really respond because I am not interested in hanging out with all my flatmates. After a while, it seemed that he would leave me alone so I thought everything was fine. We only talked when we met in the kitchen. But recently he added me on Facebook and I accepted his request (now I regret it). He messaged me and complained why I was busy, and I told him about the deadlines I have. He then said that he would take me out to get some drinks after I finish all. He didn't add other flatmates on Facebook though. And FYI, he is married. Do you think he is just friendly or should I be scared?
Additional info:
I am actually scared because lately my food in the fridge was gone and almost all the flatmates left for holiday (only he and I one other guy stayed in the flat). Honestly I suspect that the PhD guy stole it; it's happened three times.
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Amefish
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(Original post by Mary1708)
I am actually scared because lately my food in the fridge was gone and almost all the flatmates left for holiday (only he and I one other guy stayed in the flat). Honestly I suspect that the PhD guy stole it; it's happened three times.
Why are you scared because he ate your food? :laugh: for real though just confront him about everything. If you think he's being creepy then just tell his partner
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Mary1708
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(Original post by Amefish)
Why are you scared because he ate your food? :laugh: for real though just confront him about everything. If you think he's being creepy then just tell his partner
Because if he is angry, next time i put my food in the fridge he might put something in the food that can harm me(?) I know I am thinking too much but he makes me feel so inconvenient by calling me and getting out of the room at the same time as I go out of my room. He lives next to my room so he knows the sound of my door.
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Amefish
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(Original post by Mary1708)
Because if he is angry, next time i put my food in the fridge he might put something in the food that can harm me(?) I know I am thinking too much but he makes me feel so inconvenient by calling me and getting out of the room at the same time as I go out of my room. He lives next to my room so he knows the sound of my door.
Do you have any reason to believe he will do that or are you just being paranoid?
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Mary1708
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(Original post by Amefish)
Do you have any reason to believe he will do that or are you just being paranoid?
Well I am just uncomfortable because of his calling me, texting me and messaging me even if I don't respond (he is married so why is he bothering me? why doesn't he ask the others out?). He has ever been angry with me; he kind of ignored me when we were in the kitchen when he was angry.
And the fact that he might have stolen my food makes me even more uncomfortable staying in my room any longer. I want to prolong my contract, which ends in 2 months, but because of this I don't know if I will do it. Apart from him being creepy, I kind of like this flat and the rent's cheap as well.
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doodle_333
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I don't think you need to feel scared, especially because he stole some food. That's pretty normal flatmate behaviour. TBH I'd confront this guy about the food, given his behaviour towards you he might be apologetic/replace it. Right now it sounds like you haven't been very blunt with him, the next time he asks you out I would just say 'I have no interest in socialising outside the flat with you now or at any point in the future please stop messaging/asking me'. If he continues to follow you into the kitchen just be very short with him or even go into the kitchen with headphones in and ignore him 'I'm listening to an audio book and need to concentrate'. Providing he doesn't persist after you being very blunt I wouldn't worry - some people just don't understand social norms.
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Trinculo
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(Original post by Mary1708)
Well I am just uncomfortable because of his calling me, texting me and messaging me even if I don't respond (he is married so why is he bothering me? why doesn't he ask the others out?). He has ever been angry with me; he kind of ignored me when we were in the kitchen when he was angry.
And the fact that he might have stolen my food makes me even more uncomfortable staying in my room any longer. I want to prolong my contract, which ends in 2 months, but because of this I don't know if I will do it. Apart from him being creepy, I kind of like this flat and the rent's cheap as well.
Wait, what. Is his wife one of your other flatmates?
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Mary1708
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(Original post by Trinculo)
Wait, what. Is his wife one of your other flatmates?
No his wife is in his home country Nigeria.
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Meany Pie
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Are you adults or bloody children?
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username2926188
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Just tell him, you don't like him? cause you clearly don't like speaking to him. Tell him straight up, you seem to be annoyed by everything he does. I mean you can be annoyed but at least tell him
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velocity6
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(Original post by Mary1708)
No his wife is in his home country Nigeria.
XD Run
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anniebernie
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(Original post by Mary1708)
Because if he is angry, next time i put my food in the fridge he might put something in the food that can harm me(?) I know I am thinking too much but he makes me feel so inconvenient by calling me and getting out of the room at the same time as I go out of my room. He lives next to my room so he knows the sound of my door.
Just get one of these!! http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Refrigerat...item8509dc0a12
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