memyselfandtime
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Hi everyone,

So I have been thinking about this for a while... I'm 20 years old (soon going on 21) and have been wearing my hijab since I was 12 (a long ass time!). Before I go into the taking off part let me start with why I decided to wear it in the first place... It was 100% my own decision to start wearing it since a lot of my friends wore it and I knew it would make my mom so proud. Keep in mind, at that age I didn't really care about looks or anything, so adding a hijab didn't really matter.

... or so I thought. At age 14-15 the taking off hijab syndrome started kicking in. I have been legit thinking about taking it off for over 5 years now. When I think about it, I havent even worn the hijab for religious reasons (while it should be), but more for the cultural aspect of it. I think that's why I started hating to wear it. It cant describe how much of a burden it is having to put it on every day. It's not me and it never has been. It feels like I am trapped every single day.

Now here's the problem. I am too damn scared to take it off for several reasons:

- My mom's & sisters reactions who are extremely devouted Muslims
- The fact that I have been wearing it for so long now, I dont want people to think I am going to become some sort of party girl (which I am NOT planning on, I will still love Islam as much as I do but I need a fresh start and when I do plan on wearing it again I want to do it for the RIGHT reasons)
- My friends' reactions, who most of them wear the hijab too
- People at uni / work etc

Also, one of my sisters ran away from home, always had issues with Islam and had drug problems, this is also a reason why I have been postponing to remove my hijab for so long, I am so scared my mom won't trust me again after I decide to take it off.

SO AFTER THIS LONG NOVEL MY QUESTION TO YOU (UNDERSTANDING LOVELY PEOPLE):

* How do I approach my mom on this matter? How should I explain it? I dont want her to think I am turning away from Islam... I know she will be so disappointed

* What should I tell my friends/ people at uni who ask me why I took it off? I dont want to burst out crying in front of people...

* Am I too old to take it off?

Anyways, thanks for reading this if you have come this far ^_^ please don't leave mean replies, it's really hard enough already
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Asha_19
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Report 3 years ago
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(Original post by memyselfandtime)
Hi everyone,

So I have been thinking about this for a while... I'm 20 years old (soon going on 21) and have been wearing my hijab since I was 12 (a long ass time!). Before I go into the taking off part let me start with why I decided to wear it in the first place... It was 100% my own decision to start wearing it since a lot of my friends wore it and I knew it would make my mom so proud. Keep in mind, at that age I didn't really care about looks or anything, so adding a hijab didn't really matter.

... or so I thought. At age 14-15 the taking off hijab syndrome started kicking in. I have been legit thinking about taking it off for over 5 years now. When I think about it, I havent even worn the hijab for religious reasons (while it should be), but more for the cultural aspect of it. I think that's why I started hating to wear it. It cant describe how much of a burden it is having to put it on every day. It's not me and it never has been. It feels like I am trapped every single day.

Now here's the problem. I am too damn scared to take it off for several reasons:

- My mom's & sisters reactions who are extremely devouted Muslims
- The fact that I have been wearing it for so long now, I dont want people to think I am going to become some sort of party girl (which I am NOT planning on, I will still love Islam as much as I do but I need a fresh start and when I do plan on wearing it again I want to do it for the RIGHT reasons)
- My friends' reactions, who most of them wear the hijab too
- People at uni / work etc

Also, one of my sisters ran away from home, always had issues with Islam and had drug problems, this is also a reason why I have been postponing to remove my hijab for so long, I am so scared my mom won't trust me again after I decide to take it off.

SO AFTER THIS LONG NOVEL MY QUESTION TO YOU (UNDERSTANDING LOVELY PEOPLE):

* How do I approach my mom on this matter? How should I explain it? I dont want her to think I am turning away from Islam... I know she will be so disappointed

* What should I tell my friends/ people at uni who ask me why I took it off? I dont want to burst out crying in front of people...

* Am I too old to take it off?

Anyways, thanks for reading this if you have come this far ^_^ please don't leave mean replies, it's really hard enough already
Hey Hun,

I know how it is. What to do is speak to your mother about this and tell her how you have felt over the years and remind her that you know what is right and also tell her that you're not going to become like your sister all she has to do is trust you (hopefully she does right now. However you said you're almost 21 and wearing a hijab was your choice ... In my opinion, I think it should be your choice of removing it and also you are in a position to make your own decisions.

On to telling people no matter who the person is you don't have to describe yourself to them because you are you. No matter how many people in the world know you whther they are nice or not they will chat shiit but thats people for you .

Lastly your never too old to make your own decision you do what you want as it's your life.
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AlwaysBroke.
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#3
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#3
(Original post by memyselfandtime)
Hi everyone,

So I have been thinking about this for a while... I'm 20 years old (soon going on 21) and have been wearing my hijab since I was 12 (a long ass time!). Before I go into the taking off part let me start with why I decided to wear it in the first place... It was 100% my own decision to start wearing it since a lot of my friends wore it and I knew it would make my mom so proud. Keep in mind, at that age I didn't really care about looks or anything, so adding a hijab didn't really matter.

... or so I thought. At age 14-15 the taking off hijab syndrome started kicking in. I have been legit thinking about taking it off for over 5 years now. When I think about it, I havent even worn the hijab for religious reasons (while it should be), but more for the cultural aspect of it. I think that's why I started hating to wear it. It cant describe how much of a burden it is having to put it on every day. It's not me and it never has been. It feels like I am trapped every single day.

Now here's the problem. I am too damn scared to take it off for several reasons:

- My mom's & sisters reactions who are extremely devouted Muslims
- The fact that I have been wearing it for so long now, I dont want people to think I am going to become some sort of party girl (which I am NOT planning on, I will still love Islam as much as I do but I need a fresh start and when I do plan on wearing it again I want to do it for the RIGHT reasons)
- My friends' reactions, who most of them wear the hijab too
- People at uni / work etc

Also, one of my sisters ran away from home, always had issues with Islam and had drug problems, this is also a reason why I have been postponing to remove my hijab for so long, I am so scared my mom won't trust me again after I decide to take it off.

SO AFTER THIS LONG NOVEL MY QUESTION TO YOU (UNDERSTANDING LOVELY PEOPLE):

* How do I approach my mom on this matter? How should I explain it? I dont want her to think I am turning away from Islam... I know she will be so disappointed

* What should I tell my friends/ people at uni who ask me why I took it off? I dont want to burst out crying in front of people...

* Am I too old to take it off?

Anyways, thanks for reading this if you have come this far ^_^ please don't leave mean replies, it's really hard enough already
My sister is currently in her final year in accounting and also quit the hijab. She wears modest clothing and although my parents too, are serious Muslims, but in the end they understood her and accepted her as she still reads Namaaz

My sister did the persuasion because again, she was a practising and smart Muslim who is currently making my dad proud. She showed proof she dressed appropriately. Every Ramadan she comes home and reads Qur'an in front of Mum; after all this all could be just a front but once my parents knew she was a good Muslim and a good hearted person they didn't mind.

The whole point of the Hijab is (to put it really basic) to cover up the breasts which you probably know. Whether how you interpret it, we know for a fact that Allah is doing it for your safety. Im sure as long as you cover up you will be fine and if you can explain it like that to your Mum it should be ok? If she's really that strict, try offer alternatives such as trousers only (idk lol)

If you show your a good person, and people respect you, they will understand. Im sure you know someone who is such a good hearted person; everyone (or at least a lot) know this guy and no one judges him/her. Honestly, no one will judge you if you are a good person and a good Muslim so theirs no need to be scared. Its all good

I think you should tell your friends the truth, I'm sure they will understand and age doesn't really matter. Some jobs and countries require you to take them off. Your still young so I think your friends won't mind as the new generation have sort of moved onto modern day society and sort of moved past tradition which I'm sure you friends have (forgive me if these assumptions are wrong).

Lastly, I think you should trust your own instincts in this one. What I usually do in these scenarios is write everything down. How is your relationship with your mother right now? Is it Rocky or gooood? What about your friends? Is the Hijab really that much of an annoyance? I say trust your instincts, and whatever you do, evaluate that situation and figure out what to do next.

Good Luck!
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l'etranger
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Faith is not a switch but rather a slider. If you don't feel it's what is right for you right now then take it off and maybe you will come to miss it and put it back on later. Forcing it won't help you.
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