rumours :(

One of my "best friends" has just spread a bit of a rumour... she spread that I liked these 2 guys about 5mins after a conversation with her about how they might possibly like me and how I really didn't want to get involved with them.

Now, please bear in mind that for reasons that ellude me (if that's the right word) at least two other of my mates stopped talking to me a while back (I've tried a lot of things to get them back(?))... and of course we're all in the same friendship group and the silences between us are immense! I don't know if I can afford to lose another mate like that :s-smilie:

So, do I try and become friends with her again or just abandon her & know that there's another person in the common room to avoid?

Reply 1

ßlαcksωαn

17

Reply 2

LellyJelly

OP

mm welcome to my life - a nice little roller coaster

Reply 3

ßlαcksωαn

17

it's not that bad love

Reply 4

Nadinus

1

Whatever you do, don't stick with someone who is not worthy of you, even if it means starting again.
I'm not saying oh yeah anyone who does anything you should just ditch, but if the only reason you want to stay friends with her is to keep up numbers, then that's bascially using her, which is almost as bad.
I can't say whether you should be friends with her or not. If you think it's a one-off, and out of character, I would just get annoyed at her, show her that you're not happy about it, then move on and hopefully she'll get the message.
If she does that kind of thing on a regular basis and won't change whatever you say to her, I would say to get away from her.

Reply 5

LellyJelly

OP

mm good point .... il msn her now & see what happens...

watch this space

Reply 6

Vampyrcorn

14

*watches space*

Reply 7

LellyJelly

OP

damn shes gone

sorry space!

Reply 8

Vampyrcorn

14

disappointing. :frown:

Maybe you could continue to be friends, just not as good friends as you were before. So have her in your same friendship group and still hang out and have fun, just don't trust her with information as much as you used to so she can't upset you again and don't value her friendship as much, so if she messes up again you won't be hurt.

That's what I do when people lie to/about me. It beats avoiding them or having arguments anyway.

Reply 9

Angrybanana

11

Why are so many girls bitchy like this? (the friend not the OP) It's the worst characteristic of our sex, it really is.
Anyway, you could try and talk to her directly about it eg. ask her why she said it and as long as she's genuinely sorry forgive her but make it clear that if she does it again she will lose you as a friend. If it was done maliciously of course, and she's unrepentant then don't put up with her as that will give her the message that it's ok to treat you badly.

Reply 10

Ashes_to_Ashes

2

LellyJelly

One of my "best friends" has just spread a bit of a rumour... she spread that I liked these 2 guys about 5mins after a conversation with her about how they might possibly like me and how I really didn't want to get involved with them.

Now, please bear in mind that for reasons that ellude me (if that's the right word) at least two other of my mates stopped talking to me a while back (I've tried a lot of things to get them back(?))... and of course we're all in the same friendship group and the silences between us are immense! I don't know if I can afford to lose another mate like that :s-smilie:

So, do I try and become friends with her again or just abandon her & know that there's another person in the common room to avoid?

Why would you want to be friends with someone so horrible? Ask her why she did it, if her reason isn't good enough, ditch her.

I 'ditched' someone once, it wasn't nice, but she was a nasty piece of work and since she's gone, I've been a better person and we've been a better group.

People only learn from their mistakes if there are consequences...

:tsr2:

Reply 11

silverbolt

19

firslty contact these two blokes and put a stop to the rumour

secondly ditch her

Reply 12

Megatronix

Sounds pretty immature to me. The people you talk about need to grow up. Seriously i used to ignore people and not talk to them when i was in infants school and rumours are just as bad.

Reply 13

LellyJelly

OP

thanks guys I really like all your ideas!

*sighs* the only problem is that she's really quite permantly depressed so she's not/never been in her right mind.... shouldn't I therefore still respect and support her anyway? Maybe she got the wrong idea from all this... maybe she thought I wanted the guys in question to think that...?

also we're in a competition together, so surely if she was doing it to hurt me she wouldn't've asked me to do that with her a couple of weeks previously?

Reply 14

Nadinus

1

No. Her depression is not your problem, and if she is not showing loyalty to you, why should you to her?

Reply 15

username47781

20

Stop being friends with her, you don't need a friend who spreads false rumours.

Reply 16

LellyJelly

OP

im just worried that I might break up a friendship over a little misunderstanding

Reply 17

Vampyrcorn

14

LellyJelly

thanks guys I really like all your ideas!

*sighs* the only problem is that she's really quite permantly depressed so she's not/never been in her right mind.... shouldn't I therefore still respect and support her anyway? Maybe she got the wrong idea from all this... maybe she thought I wanted the guys in question to think that...?

also we're in a competition together, so surely if she was doing it to hurt me she wouldn't've asked me to do that with her a couple of weeks previously?

Um.. having depression isn't a reason to respect someone and it's not an excuse for her to be nasty. There are plenty of depressed people who don't do that.

But yeah, you should definately consider the possibility that she genuinely thought you liked the guys. That still doesn't mean it was ok for her to tell everyone though!

Reply 18

LellyJelly

OP

Well im not quite sure what went on & what she thinks bout it... maybe shes sorry & she cant bring herself to say it? but we're going to forget the whole thing & go back to being mates.

I guess I just won't disclose that kinda stuff to her again.

Reply 19

Laursy

10

don't speak to people who spread rumours, and don't start any about her,

just avoid her and show you are the bigger person in this and show you aren;t bothered! you don;t need people like that!!

rumours :(

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