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In too deep with my boss?! Watch

    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Background:

    Fancied my boss (should note that we are really good friends, not a big age gap and we work in a really small business) for quite a while now. Got it into my head that nothing would ever happen due to the situation of him being my boss. Then a month ago I was round at his with some of the other guys from work, they left, we got really drunk and we kissed. I panicked and left as I was quite shocked. Spoke to him a few days later to make sure we were okay then I went away for a couple of weeks. Came back to work and all of them knew (obviously he'd told them) and so it got a bit awkward but they were only joking. A few nights later and we got drunk again, but this time it was completely different. We had really deep conversation, like stuff that no one else knew, slept together and I stayed over at his. We decided that we should have a conversation sober to talk about what it all meant to us. This was about a week ago, we still haven't had this chat and I'm scared that we are just going to forget what happened and go back to normal?? What should I do?! We have both since mentioned the chat but I don't know how to bring it up again without it being awkward?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Background:

    Fancied my boss (should note that we are really good friends, not a big age gap and we work in a really small business) for quite a while now. Got it into my head that nothing would ever happen due to the situation of him being my boss. Then a month ago I was round at his with some of the other guys from work, they left, we got really drunk and we kissed. I panicked and left as I was quite shocked. Spoke to him a few days later to make sure we were okay then I went away for a couple of weeks. Came back to work and all of them knew (obviously he'd told them) and so it got a bit awkward but they were only joking. A few nights later and we got drunk again, but this time it was completely different. We had really deep conversation, like stuff that no one else knew, slept together and I stayed over at his. We decided that we should have a conversation sober to talk about what it all meant to us. This was about a week ago, we still haven't had this chat and I'm scared that we are just going to forget what happened and go back to normal?? What should I do?! We have both since mentioned the chat but I don't know how to bring it up again without it being awkward?
    TBF you could start with not getting into a relationship with your boss when drunk. you already know he talks so whether you are or are not sleeping together he is sure to tell all the office. Talk to him and see whether theres any prospects before you sleep with him again. Also when it all goes pear shaped what will you do when everyone knows? Always the danger of sleeping with people at work.

    Decide whether you want to stay at your job and any alternatives. Just talk to him and ask him whether he wants to talk or not. If not then thats fine and if yes, then name a time and place. I dont think you have anything to lose by getting the actual talk and then deciding what to do based on that. Gauge how he deals with it but be realistic.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    TBF you could start with not getting into a relationship with your boss when drunk. you already know he talks so whether you are or are not sleeping together he is sure to tell all the office. Talk to him and see whether theres any prospects before you sleep with him again. Also when it all goes pear shaped what will you do when everyone knows? Always the danger of sleeping with people at work.

    Decide whether you want to stay at your job and any alternatives. Just talk to him and ask him whether he wants to talk or not. If not then thats fine and if yes, then name a time and place. I dont think you have anything to lose by getting the actual talk and then deciding what to do based on that. Gauge how he deals with it but be realistic.
    Yeah I know it's not the best! Just worried that the response won't be what I want to hear I guess
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I know it's not the best! Just worried that the response won't be what I want to hear I guess
    That's how things go. You dont really know this person and for all you know hes done it before. He could also easily get cold feet because it reflects on him as a manager. Just be prepared for things to go pear shaped. There have been a few threads on TSR with this sort of thing ending badly and all the nice things the bosses said turned out to be just to get sex, plus there was a backlash. Just be realistic.
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    Considering he'd told everyone about you two kissing, I wouldn't be surprised if you soon became just someone to gossip about and had your sexual relationship splashed everywhere
 
 
 
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Updated: April 22, 2017
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