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Guy I'm Dating Fetishizes my Race.. Watch

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    I'm white and he's East Asian. He was really nice and chill at the start and he still is but he suddenly dropped it on me out of the blue that he has a preference for "petite white girls". When I asked him more about it he said that he was really into "white porn" and had never been with a white girl before because they don't usually date East Asian guys.

    I told him Id rather not date him if he was with me bc of my race, bc to be honest he is hotter than me in alot of ways, tall, muscular face like Godfrey gao etc and legit hot but I'd rather date an unattractive boy like me who likes me for who I am. I thought it was weird to have like a 9/10 boy chasing me so hard when I am honestly a 5/10. I have a slim body but horse face I am not even being modest. Now I find out its just for my race

    And he also said, that he was "primarily sexually into" white girls although he started backtracking and saying it wasn't about race and basically giving a really weird muddled explanation.

    in b4 it isn't a fetish :rolleyes:
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    Abort mission. People liking you just because of your race (at most times) do not genuinely like you because of who you are.
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    Lol he is very weird, bail out :laugh:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Abort mission. People liking you just because of your race (at most times) do not genuinely like you because of who you are.
    thanks, yeah we do click on some other things but I still dont think he would be with me if I wasnt white. There are loads of prettier East Asian girls he could get I'm sure
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    people have preferences but they don't build relationships on them if he wanted a friend with benefits that's all you'd be . If you don't think yourself a looker and he does all the better for you. Truth is hes attracted to you but that isn't a bad thing after all you are attracted to him. I'd advise you not to throw this a way just yet because you could both be happy.
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    Self respect is key, he just sounds like he wants to make his fetish a reality but you want a genuine relationship
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    Nah book it mate. He will wear off quick after he gets his kick.

    I'd say the same thing if the OP was Asian and saying her white bf fetishised her :yy:
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    (Original post by Steljoy)
    Lol he is very weird, bail out :laugh:
    Yeah I thought he was just one of those big musculy goofy guys at first.. do you agree its weird though?

    (Original post by Thom the great)
    people have preferences but they don't build relationships on them if he wanted a friend with benefits that's all you'd be . If you don't think yourself a looker and he does all the better for you.
    Idk, I told him I can only do this short term or casual bc he is from Cardiff, only here for uni. But he does keep on going on about how it "makes a change" to click with a girl as much as he does me? Relationship type talk. And when I try sexy talk he goes cold but when he does it he expects me to back. Lol.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I thought he was just one of those big musculy goofy guys at first.. do you agree its weird though?



    Idk, I told him I can only do this short term or casual bc he is from Cardiff, only here for uni. But he does keep on going on about how it "makes a change" to click with a girl as much as he does me? Relationship type talk. And when I try sexy talk he goes cold but when he does it he expects me to back. Lol.
    maybe you need to work on your sexy talk it is an art not a science after all
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I thought he was just one of those big musculy goofy guys at first.. do you agree its weird though?

    Idk, I told him I can only do this short term or casual bc he is from Cardiff, only here for uni. But he does keep on going on about how it "makes a change" to click with a girl as much as he does me? Relationship type talk. And when I try sexy talk he goes cold but when he does it he expects me to back. Lol.
    Yeap, I do

    Everyone has their own fetish and likes, everyone! But that never has an effect on their love life(Normal people ofc). If he brings up all these sexual topics he might just be one of those ONS guys. Please don't let him use you
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    If he's just dating you because you're white then you should do the right thing and escape while you can.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm white and he's East Asian. He was really nice and chill at the start and he still is but he suddenly dropped it on me out of the blue that he has a preference for "petite white girls". When I asked him more about it he said that he was really into "white porn" and had never been with a white girl before because they don't usually date East Asian guys.

    I told him Id rather not date him if he was with me bc of my race, bc to be honest he is hotter than me in alot of ways, tall, muscular face like Godfrey gao etc and legit hot but I'd rather date an unattractive boy like me who likes me for who I am. I thought it was weird to have like a 9/10 boy chasing me so hard when I am honestly a 5/10. I have a slim body but horse face I am not even being modest. Now I find out its just for my race

    And he also said, that he was "primarily sexually into" white girls although he started backtracking and saying it wasn't about race and basically giving a really weird muddled explanation.

    in b4 it isn't a fetish :rolleyes:
    I mean I don't think that is really fetishing your race? He just finds white people attractive... I personally find black/asian guys more attractive than white guys, that doesn't mean they are a fetish. It's just what you find attractive. I think this is more about your insecurities than anything... don't call yourself a 5/10 and him a 9/10, if he's with you he clearly finds you attractive inside and out, so don't compare yourself to him.
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    Its like RITALIN it's another form.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks, yeah we do click on some other things but I still dont think he would be with me if I wasnt white. There are loads of prettier East Asian girls he could get I'm sure
    tbh I think this is pretty rude! why are you basically insinuating that he has to stick to his own race?
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    (Original post by Moura)
    tbh I think this is pretty rude! why are you basically insinuating that he has to stick to his own race?
    Thats not what i mean at all! but if he'd rather date an average (at best) white girl over pretty east asian girls (his friends are stunning, like michelle phan looks) and has told me he prefers white girls then race is a pretty big factor no?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I thought that too. But then why would he be shutting me down when I try to initiate it, but go on about wanting to dominate me when HE wants to sext me.

    We still havent had sex yet btw
    Hmm, kinda confusing now that you mentioned the shutting down part

    Personally I am a much more romance driven person rather than sex. I mean I still enjoy sex of course but I never enjoy sexting or conversations about "How I would dominate my partner during a sex" If that makes sense?

    So I guess you have to decide whether you want a romantic partner or sex driven partner?

    I personally would avoid a girl who has a high sex drive But that is just me
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    (Original post by Steljoy)
    Hmm, kinda confusing now that you mentioned the shutting down part

    Personally I am a much more romance driven person rather than sex. I mean I still enjoy sex of course but I never enjoy sexting or conversations about "How I would dominate my partner during a sex" If that makes sense?

    So I guess you have to decide whether you want a romantic partner or sex driven partner?

    I personally would avoid a girl who has a high sex drive But that is just me
    Yeah this would all make more sense if he was just a horny ONS type guy. But then we can only sext, when HE wants it.

    He uses BDSM type language when we're sexting too. Like referring to himself as a dom and me and a sub and telling me how he likes to prove his dominance. Its kinda cringe lol.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    If he's just dating you because you're white then you should do the right thing and escape while you can.
    do you think he is? It seems to me like he is but idk if Im overreacting.

    Race is definitely a factor bc he admitted it. Then again we do click on other weird things like both liking motorbikes.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Abort mission. People liking you just because of your race (at most times) do not genuinely like you because of who you are.
    Advice was so bad you had to hide your name :>
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    (Original post by Aloneinthedark)
    Self respect is key, he just sounds like he wants to make his fetish a reality but you want a genuine relationship
    Yeah.. I do actually want something casual ish, not like FWB necessarily but short term because he's only here for uni and is from Cardiff which is like miles away. But then HE is the one who sweet talks me like sayin that he's never connected with a girl as much as he has me and cherishes how petite I am, while I'm the one who sexts him more but then he shuts it down.

    So confusing :grumble:

    (Original post by 0to100)
    Nah book it mate. He will wear off quick after he gets his kick.

    I'd say the same thing if the OP was Asian and saying her white bf fetishised her :yy:
    You always post such sense thanks .

    You reckon he's just trying to :innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent: a white girl then? :yep:

    The weird thing is I don't think he just wants to sleep with me but like dominate me in a BDSM type sense? I know it sounds crazy. But I know this is only short term so I have tried to initiate sex before and he shuts it down which he wouldn't do if he just wanted ONS. However like I posted above:

    But then we can only sext, when HE wants it.

    He uses BDSM type language when we're sexting too. Like referring to himself as a dom and me and a sub and telling me how he likes to prove his dominance. Its kinda cringe lol.
 
 
 
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