QUESTION TO MEDICS/DOCTORS - how busy are you? (dating advice)
Hey, I've been dating an F2 doc for about 3 months now and am kind of unhappy with the amount of time he spends with me. I'd just like to know how busy F2 are? I don't know whether he's exaggerating and just using me as a booty call or if he is actually that busy... like he barely texts me before/after his shifts, I can understand if he's drained but part of me thinks he's using it as an excuse not to commit?
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Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I've been dating an F2 doc for about 3 months now and am kind of unhappy with the amount of time he spends with me. I'd just like to know how busy F2 are? I don't know whether he's exaggerating and just using me as a booty call or if he is actually that busy... like he barely texts me before/after his shifts, I can understand if he's drained but part of me thinks he's using it as an excuse not to commit?
I think it's going to be like that for the rest of his life. Drs work around 40hrs a week. It's physically and mentally exhausting! You have to understand the nature of his work, it comes along with a lot of stress and responsibilities and he is saving lives. I understand your worries as you don't work in the healthcare setting but don't take it personally if he doesn't make alot of time for you. I think you should still talk to him and let him know how you feel, discuss future plans and see where you lie. If he is serious about you he will need to put in abit of an effort no matter what, a text only takes a few seconds. Communicate with him.
There's a reason most doctors only end up dating other doctors...
Original post by RosyPearl
I think it's going to be like that for the rest of his life. Drs work around 40hrs a week. It's physically and mentally exhausting! You have to understand the nature of his work, it comes along with a lot of stress and responsibilities and he is saving lives. I understand your worries as you don't work in the healthcare setting but don't take it personally if he doesn't make alot of time for you. I think you should still talk to him and let him know how you feel, discuss future plans and see where you lie. If he is serious about you he will need to put in abit of an effort no matter what, a text only takes a few seconds. Communicate with him.
Original post by SunlethSky
There's a reason most doctors only end up dating other doctors...
I'm honestly really understanding, I'm pretty laid back and haven't mentioned this to him because I don't want to add unnecessary stress... but like I'm still a person with feelings and it's been 3 months now and I still find it hard to get a simple reply from him! It's really not hard to reply to a text, but then again I don't know if it's just because he's drained after work he doesn't have the mental energy.
How is a girlfriend like a laxative?
They both irritate the
out of you.
They both irritate the
out of you.Original post by RosyPearl
Drs work around 40hrs a week
More like 60-70, at FY2, if I gather correctly. 48 of those are officially logged but the actual working hours are much longer.
What does @Friar Chris think about this?
But surely neither of them would have any time at all then. It would be better to date someone with fewer hours or even self-employed.
Original post by SunlethSky
There's a reason most doctors only end up dating other doctors...
But surely neither of them would have any time at all then. It would be better to date someone with fewer hours or even self-employed.
Original post by littlenorthernlass
But surely neither of them would have any time at all then. It would be better to date someone with fewer hours or even self-employed.
Neither would have much time, but they'd also understand exactly the struggle. There's been a few studies into 'medical marriages' because of things like that really.
It would be better for OP to date someone like that though, aye.
Original post by SunlethSky
Neither would have much time, but they'd also understand exactly the struggle. There's been a few studies into 'medical marriages' because of things like that really.
It would be better for OP to date someone like that though, aye.
It would be better for OP to date someone like that though, aye.
I think it just depends how much one is willing to sacrifice.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I've been dating an F2 doc for about 3 months now and am kind of unhappy with the amount of time he spends with me. I'd just like to know how busy F2 are? I don't know whether he's exaggerating and just using me as a booty call or if he is actually that busy... like he barely texts me before/after his shifts, I can understand if he's drained but part of me thinks he's using it as an excuse not to commit?
Most days would be 8-5 with occasional late finishes, but there are times when he would be on call for the week where he does 12.5hr shifts either day or night. I can imagine during these weeks you just wouldn't see or hear from him. Ditto if he is doing a 10 or 12 day stretch.
The rest of the time it allows you to be freely available. Exception probably being A&E when the shifts are far more antisocial.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I've been dating an F2 doc for about 3 months now and am kind of unhappy with the amount of time he spends with me. I'd just like to know how busy F2 are? I don't know whether he's exaggerating and just using me as a booty call or if he is actually that busy... like he barely texts me before/after his shifts, I can understand if he's drained but part of me thinks he's using it as an excuse not to commit?
Depends what specialty he's in. I did an F2 job in GP that was 9-5.30, Mon-Fri, and was pretty relaxed. I also did an A&E job which involved lots of 10-12 hour shifts, a week of nights every month and working 2 in 3 weekends. I lived with my boyfriend at the time (now husband) and we could go days without seeing each other. I barely saw any of my friends during that rotation.
However, it's not necessarily an excuse to be crap at communicating! Lots of doctors marry other doctors/HCPs, so clearly plenty of people do have time for a relationship, and plenty, including myself, have partners outside of medicine. We do have one of the highest divorce rates of any profession though.
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