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froobi.doo's journey to stay alive Watch

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    I was inspired by a TSR friend, W. A. Mozart , to do this online blog, and the first thing you may say is " If this is a blog then why is it not in the blogs section?" that's because it will focus on my mental health (which is in near tatters at the minute) and my journey to coping with life and all the struggles it throws my way.


    Just to introduce myself I am 15 years old (nearly 16), and begin my GCSE exams on May 15th
    I will be sitting 19 exams in total, and they are:
    . English literature (2 of)
    .English language (2 of)
    . Maths (foundation, due to this I cant get my target, but 3 of these)
    . Science (2 of each science (biology, chemistry and physics) this includes my additional science exams aswell)
    .RE ( 2 of)
    .Sociology (2 of)
    .History ( 2 of)

    I am targeted 2 A's and the rest B's, but don't think I'll get these grades at the rate I'm going.

    I feel like a mess.

    And that's about it for what you need to know about me.

    Oh, and aside everything else but relating to when I mentioned mental health earlier I said that because I have Depression and other mental health inconsistencies which I need to sort out.

    I'll try doing daily updates here but you never know whether I'll continue with that, if I don't then I'll do at least every other day.
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    Posting to subscribe! Sorry to hear how difficult things are atm. I'm much older than you but I remember GCSEs feeling like a never-ending nightmare :sadnod:

    Cheering you on from here, and good luck with your exams and your blogging
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    I'm so glad to hear that I inspired you to make a blog.

    I'll be following along, best of luck!
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Posting to subscribe! Sorry to hear how difficult things are atm. I'm much older than you but I remember GCSEs feeling like a never-ending nightmare :sadnod:

    Cheering you on from here, and good luck with your exams and your blogging
    Thanks for that, I am a positivity cheerleader (in my way of using words) for many people I know who have their own issues but for more than a year now I could have done with someone doing for me like what I have done for them
    And thanks for the cheering me on, I can do with it.
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    (Original post by W. A. Mozart)
    I'm so glad to hear that I inspired you to make a blog.

    I'll be following along, best of luck!
    You inspired me and not many people do so be happy about that and remember it when you're having a not too good day
    And thanks
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    (Original post by froobi.doo)
    Thanks for that, I am a positivity cheerleader (in my way of using words) for many people I know who have their own issues but for more than a year now I could have done with someone doing for me like what I have done for them
    And thanks for the cheering me on, I can do with it.
    It can be draining when you're trying to support so many people but not getting any support in return :sadnod: Rest assured I will cheer you on as best as I can
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    DAY 1:
    Right so...
    Today was literally like nothing.
    I mean I went outside and I didn't get hardly any anxiety which is good.
    Thing is I feel like none of the people I associate with at school actually care about me because they seem to forget I exist at weekends as they don't ask me if I want to meet up with them and that upsets me as it makes me feel like I did 5 years ago (which was like I was a ghost because I would literally walk round my primary school playground by myself) but I try not to let this get to me too much because it always happens.
    My head feels like my heart has taken up residence where my brain should be, which would explain my terrible grades at the minute.

    So for today I would have to say about a 6/10 because of what I listed above.

    My favourite thing at the moment is my Spotify playlist which is a mix of Twenty One Pilots and Panic! At the Disco as well as a Fall Out Boy song.
    My honest favourite song at the moment is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qFF2v8VsaA due to the video being my favourite and it makes me happy to sing along to it.
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    It can be draining when you're trying to support so many people but not getting any support in return :sadnod: Rest assured I will cheer you on as best as I can
    Thanks for saying you'll do your best
    I only try to support others so they don't end up like me.
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    (Original post by froobi.doo)
    Thanks for saying you'll do your best
    I only try to support others so they don't end up like me.
    :console: :hugs:

    It sounds like your school'friends' are a bit :innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent: tbh. I'm sorry that they don't really contact you on weekends etc
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    :console: :hugs:

    It sounds like your school'friends' are a bit :innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent: tbh. I'm sorry that they don't really contact you on weekends etc
    As sad as it may seem I'm used to it happening because it always has and I presume it always will.
    I'm always the first to start a conversation by message and if I don't bother then I can days without hearing from anyone.
    It's been this way for years
    I don't really class people as friends anymore, just associates, because those who I have called friends and have given my trust to have betrayed that and I really struggle to make friends anyway.
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    (Original post by froobi.doo)
    As sad as it may seem I'm used to it happening because it always has and I presume it always will.
    I'm always the first to start a conversation by message and if I don't bother then I can days without hearing from anyone.
    It's been this way for years
    I don't really class people as friends anymore, just associates, because those who I have called friends and have given my trust to have betrayed that and I really struggle to make friends anyway.
    I would hope that you would one day be able to find better people who you could truly call your friends :yep: I can see why you're not optimistic about that though, if this is how you've been treated thus far in life
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    I would hope that you would one day be able to find better people who you could truly call your friends :yep: I can see why you're not optimistic about that though, if this is how you've been treated thus far in life
    Yeah, one day I hope to have some friends I can trust
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    DAY 2:
    So...
    Today was actually great.
    Went out and was in the sun all day, so I was getting my vitamin D
    I was also taking part in my own form of therapy, which for me is Photography. And taking 100+ pictures, some of which will end up in a magazine, makes me feel alot better.
    So for today I would have to say it has been a 8/10.
    Hope everyone else is alright? If not then inbox me if you want someone to talk to.
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    Glad you've had a good day, and that you find photography helpful for your mood! Good stuff
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    Day 3:
    Well today wasn't good.
    I was at school, which didn't help.
    I didn't have my glasses as they were in the opticians getting new lenses
    I felt ugly without them, not that I'm any better with them.
    I just felt in a bad mood.
    I don't even know why
    I had to resit a test after school and the only good ting about that was I got given 2 mini packs of haribo's by my teacher
    I went to my counselling appointment and that was ok except I was sweaty afterwards because the sun was shining straight onto me.

    I would have to say today has been a 5/10

    My song for today would have to be Polarize by Twenty One Pilots.
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    Sorry to hear you've been in a bad mood today. Well done for going to counselling regardless of that though
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    Hey Following this blog :thumbsup:

    Sorry to hear that today wasn't a great day for you :console: Hope tommorrow goes better!

    Good luck with your GCSE's tho
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Sorry to hear you've been in a bad mood today. Well done for going to counselling regardless of that though
    thanks, I go each week because I think it helps me

    (Original post by IKEAPanda37)
    Hey Following this blog :thumbsup:

    Sorry to hear that today wasn't a great day for you :console: Hope tommorrow goes better!

    Good luck with your GCSE's tho
    today hasn't been too good, hope your day has been better than mine has so far
    and thanks for following my blog
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    Day 4:
    Well today has been about average ish I guess.
    I was at school again, such is the life of a teenager.
    I had my glasses back today which made me feel a bit better.
    I felt I looked alright today. Well alright for me because I usually feel I look like a potato.
    I just wasn't able to work in class today, I didn't even do the bare minimum. The most I wrote was in sociology when I was copying notes off the board.
    I tried doing some revision earlier but it didn't work out because I just gave up, which I think is partly to do with my lack of motivation

    So I think today would have been a 6/10.

    And my song for today will have to be a tie between Fall Out Boy's Uma Thurman (a new one for my list) and a re-appearance from Emperor's New Clothes by Panic! At the Disco, but as I'm only allowed to post one video I'll put the link to Emperors New clothes below the Uma Thurman vid.



    Emperor's New Clothes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qFF2v8VsaA

    I like these songs for the beat and the lyrics, as to me they are soothing.
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    Sorry to read you weren't able to do much work today. And that you are so down about your appearance too

    Have a hug! :jumphug:
 
 
 
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