Boyfriend Trying To Control Me

Hi,

Ive been with my boyfriend for 7 months now really happy. He always tells me how goood i look, good i am in bed, how he 'so lucky'.

But over the last week my boyfriend has got really arrogant and moody. Like he said something in the pub like 'i know how to control you, i put things in your mind, i say certain words' which really freaked me out.

And tonight. VIA TEXTING:

I said 'oh whats going o, heard anything. no sure what im doing'

He said 'going out with family. You can come'
I said ' are already said id go out with people. wish i could!'

then he goes 'Mmm k, let me know wen i cn next c u'
I said 'free tomorrow. maybe see you then? gimme a call. enjoy your night'

than (weid text as he didnt need to reply from ym last one) says 'if your free, call me, speak soon'
i said back 'i just told you im free tomorrow'

then he goes 'k, ill see you tomorrow then, have a good night'

do you think he went all moody cause he wanted to see me tonight, and im busy.
Also, you think he sent the text messgage 'if your free call me, speak soon' - to get me to say 'im free tomorrow'.

I DONT UNDERSTAND THE WEIRDNESS OF IT!

Reply 1

dh00001

erm i think hes just saying that if you are free and want to see him tomorrow then ring him :s-smilie:

i think youre reading into it too much personally

Reply 2

username47781

A controlling relationship like this is a turn off, you need to stand your ground and tell him you will not stand for this. You cannot let even your own boyfriend dictate to you how you should live your life.

He needs to realise you are with him because you love him, it does seem he is insecure.

After all everyone needs a bit of social life outside of a relationship, you are perfectly allowed to have friends.

Talk to him about it, tell him you don't like his controlling ways, if he refuses to accept it or change then I would start wondering why you are with him.

Feel free to PM me if you need anymore advice.

Reply 3

*Joanna*

dh00001

erm i think hes just saying that if you are free and want to see him tomorrow then ring him :s-smilie:

i think youre reading into it too much personally

I think you're reading too much into it too. He might have misread one of your texts, or sometimes things just don't come across well in a text. Though I agree what he said in the pub sounds a bit freaky.

Reply 4

Goodkat

The pub thing is a bit weird, but the text thing sounds normal. I don't get why you are trying to analyse it, looks like he just wants to talk to you.

Reply 5

skinnyblackjeans

I know, but why's he all like:

call me when your free, when i told him im free saturday??

Now, do i call him tomoorw, or wait for him to call me???
I just feel so stressed. He pisses me off. Cuase I know he means it in a moody way!

L x

Reply 6

Poica

As others have said - you seem to be reading "moody" into a normal text message with no evident emotion whatsoever.
However, if you're assuming he's moody from that, maybe you're unhappy in the relationship. Think about it - are you reading moodiness and controlling behaviour into his normal actions because you need to find a way out?

The compliments you mentioned that he's paying you sound shallow at best and creepy at worst. Maybe you're happier than you sound, but you're not coming across that way.

Reply 7

skinnyblackjeans

Ive just got alot of family issus plus eating probelms, and i feel out of control and at cross roads. Im just . . o i dont know. He just told me he was out wiht the lads saturday night, so i didnt uderstand why he's saying tell me when your free, because he said he was busy tomorrow?!!?

Reply 8

dh00001

for what its worth if it was me that sent the message i would have mean- ring me at the time when youre free and want to do something.

Reply 9

Triplet1

dh00001

erm i think hes just saying that if you are free and want to see him tomorrow then ring him :s-smilie:

i think youre reading into it too much personally

Although the pub bit is strange.

Your reading wayyy to much into it i think. :smile:

Reply 10

Nadinus

Hm.
Looks like you're picking up something more than what he said in his texts, because I really wouldn't worry about that on its own.
As for the controlling part...It might just be that he feels that he doens't quite have you under his wing (if that's the right expression) and by telling you that he can control you is a way of showing that your still "his". Very few genuinely controlling people would brag about it...Whatever you don't, if you feel any sign that he's is controlling you, do something about it straight away, because it's so easy to get in to a habit of it, and then things spiral and...well I'm sure it won't get to that, I'm sure it's nothing anyway.