I don't know how to act in front of guys

My parents are so strict about me being around boys. I've been in an all-girls school since I was 11, and haven't had any real contact with boys since then.

As a result, I find it very awkward communicating with them :mad:

I don't have any brothers, and I'm not allowed to hang out with my male cousins anymore (because I'm a girl). And I can't stay over at my friends' houses if they have brothers.

So I have no experience in interacting normally with guys.
This really worries me because I'm going to uni next year, and I'm really inexperienced! I can't even give guys eye contact (shop assistants, teachers, random people on the street, etc.) I sometimes approached by guys when I'm out and about (saying I'm pretty, or asking for directions, etc.) and I honestly don't know how to act and I feel PATHETIC.

Is there anything I can do to get myself out of this rut? I would really appreciate people's opinions and advice on this.

I'm almost 18, by the way...

Reply 1

Mos Def

Imagine their a girl...?

Reply 2

PirateGirl

Well first off even though they are males they are still human (kind of) so there's no need to act any different with them than you do with anyone else. Just be relaxed and easy going!
Then when you get more confident about talking to guys about normal things maybe try a bit of flirting

when you get used to it you'll see there's no need to worry about it at all and that most boys are relatively easy to get along with, more so than girls i find...

Reply 3

Sarahl89

whattttt? they wont let you see your male cousins?? seriously?? at 18 thats ridiculous! acutally at any age!! whats their reasons for it? :s-smilie:

and i was in all girls school until my first year of college, since i was 11, (then insisted on leaving.. 5 years was quite long enough..) so now im at a state college, & im not the most outgoing of people anyway, but i just found it quite normal really. theyre only boys not aliens or anything :P just treat them like you would anyone else :smile:

after a while, especially if you're living in mixed halls im sure it'll become quite normal to you x

Reply 4

Chumbaniya

laurenftw

Well first off even though they are males they are still human (kind of)

That's fairly debatable. Men are notorious for being a bit crap compared to women in general.

I do find the attitude the OP's family takes entirely ridiculous. If they think that completely preventing contact with males is good for you, they're entirely wrong; if anything it just makes you more vulnerable.

Reply 5

envious

I agree with the people who have posted so far

I think your parents' tactic of keeping you away from boys when you were younger and even now has led to this huge psychological barrier towards males that simply must be broken down. Society does not operate in a single sex manner (as you have found out when you have ventured out) and I really think you should talk to your parents about how impractical their views are. I assume that they want you to study hard at university and eventually pursue a worthwhile career so perhaps you could explain to them that these ambitions will be severely compromised if you are not allowed to interact with guys now and gain some kind of experience in the field.

I assume that your parents are against interactions between males and females as they have in sexualised all relationships between the two genders and assumed that they all boil down to the same thing i.e. sex. This simply isn't true and I think the sooner they (and perhaps you) realise this then the quicker this issue can be resolved. Guys and girls CAN just be friends, classmates, colleagues etc and it is important that you keep this in mind when you talk to males so that you don't build up tension in your own mind.

Reply 6

ßlαcksωαn

what the hell?
Do your parents know that male make up (approximately!) 50% of the population?!
What did they think they could keep you away from them forever?
What a load of crap, to do this to their own daughter. Ok maybe fair enough to say no boyfriends, but your own male cousins?! that is just crazy crazy.
Anyway, just act normal, and the more you think about it/stress over it then the worse it will be. Most of them wont bite :smile:

Reply 7

Goodkat

Although I can't really offer any more advice about communicating with males other than be yourself and act normally, I find your parents actions absolutely absurd. Preventing you from having contact is absolutely ****ing ridiculous at your age (at any age actually) and they seriously need to pull their heads out of their arses and realise what they are actually doing. It's a bad thing when they actually stop you seeing your own cousins, I mean Jesus Christ!

Reply 8

Freud

Chumbaniya

That's fairly debatable. Men are notorious for being a bit crap compared to women in general.

Naaah boys are my favourite!

But your family is being far too controlling and restrictive. Its unreasonable to keep you away from family members simply because they're male! Is your family heavily religious? Even then I can't really understand why they'd do that.

But confidence is the key. They're human beings, just like you.

Reply 9

Page1000

I'd say just act casually and make small talk at first: simple, relaxed conversations about the usual boring topics- music, the weather and so on. Being over eager or desperate to fill the silences with babbling (as I was wont to do in the past :P) tends to creep them out slightly, so just be very relaxed, even if you're pretending. Your body language also says a lot, so if you've got your arms crossed tightly over your chest and won't look at them it'll send them the signal you don't want them there. Just make a lot of eye contact and keep a relaxed stance.

If you start practising right away (even if its only the men giving you your change or a bus ticket) then in twelve months time you should be set. Better to work on it with complete strangers than guys you'll be spending the next few years around. :biggrin: