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Disconnected

Has or does anyone else feel like this? Like they are not connected to anything thats going on at all?

I've come home from uni this weekend because there is something I want to attend with my family but after doing so this feeling has really kicked in....There is nothing in my home town left for me, no friends, nothing to do and outside of my family, absolutely no reason for me to be here.

Then now that I'm here, sitting, completely bored on a Friday night, I think to what I would be doing in my uni accomo, and that would probably be the same. Theres noone there for me either, no people to talk to and stuff...outside of uni, my life being on rails, there is no other reason for me to be there.

theres this feeling like I don't belong anywhere and its really just hit me quite suddenly and I'm feeling it difficult to shake off....Im just asking does anyone know how to get around this feeling?

Reply 1

starchild

15

i have that feeling. its trully horrid. if you ever want to talk please pm or msn me :hugs:

i hope you feel better soon xxx

Reply 2

coldwind

i cant help sorry, feeling the same :frown:

Reply 3

kitty_koo

12

Psychos

Has or does anyone else feel like this? Like they are not connected to anything thats going on at all?

I've come home from uni this weekend because there is something I want to attend with my family but after doing so this feeling has really kicked in....There is nothing in my home town left for me, no friends, nothing to do and outside of my family, absolutely no reason for me to be here.

Then now that I'm here, sitting, completely bored on a Friday night, I think to what I would be doing in my uni accomo, and that would probably be the same. Theres noone there for me either, no people to talk to and stuff...outside of uni, my life being on rails, there is no other reason for me to be there.

theres this feeling like I don't belong anywhere and its really just hit me quite suddenly and I'm feeling it difficult to shake off....Im just asking does anyone know how to get around this feeling?

i could've written that

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I am very close to my family, so I don't get that feeling at home much, but being the narcissist that I am, I'm awful around my friends. This horrible feeling of "who are these people and why do I care about them?" kicks in, and I feel like I am totally displaced from them, and I can't see why I bother as they are all boring, flawed people who don't fit in with my life and the way I see the world. I do like them, but this is the feeling that comes over me sometimes.

Reply 5

devilsthorn

1

This is what happens when you have no hobbies, no girlfriend, no friends, no um what else is there..? Lol. Nothing wrong being a loner. Instead of going out on Friday night I just slept it through.

Reply 6

Tyrannosaurus Cal

15

I feel the same at the moment...just wafting along on a cloud of bewilderment

Reply 7

Leigh.

12

I haven't been back to my home town yet and i'm unlikely to for a while, but I'm looking forward to meeting my family, friends and the countryside again, surely it's not all bad seeing your family after ages of not seeing them?

Reply 8

username89060

9

Try and avoid going back home, particularly during Freshers' week. Cut yourself off from your family, it pretty much forces you to have to socialise, and going to loads of freshers events and joining societies helps too (meet people with similar interests etc).

Reply 9

WokSz

17

My gf's cousin said something really interesting to me. He mentioned that for the first few months it's not a good idea to come back home. The reason for this is that people at Uni will be making friends, and going into groups. The best idea is to stay at Uni until at least Christmas so that you make a good, close knit group of friends.

Reply 10

Reue

20

I never go home during term time. Simpley because as you said, theres noone there! All my mates will be at their own unis. Unless youve got something important to do back home, dont go.

Reply 11

username68316

3

Pedsdude

Try and avoid going back home, particularly during Freshers' week. Cut yourself off from your family, it pretty much forces you to have to socialise, and going to loads of freshers events and joining societies helps too (meet people with similar interests etc).

No matter how hard it might seem to some people, that's dead right. Plus going back to your family after a long period of not seeing them will probably make it seem better :smile:

Reply 12

Dhampir

Psychos

Has or does anyone else feel like this? Like they are not connected to anything thats going on at all?

I've come home from uni this weekend because there is something I want to attend with my family but after doing so this feeling has really kicked in....There is nothing in my home town left for me, no friends, nothing to do and outside of my family, absolutely no reason for me to be here.

Then now that I'm here, sitting, completely bored on a Friday night, I think to what I would be doing in my uni accomo, and that would probably be the same. Theres noone there for me either, no people to talk to and stuff...outside of uni, my life being on rails, there is no other reason for me to be there.

theres this feeling like I don't belong anywhere and its really just hit me quite suddenly and I'm feeling it difficult to shake off....Im just asking does anyone know how to get around this feeling?

Yeah, I feel like that all the time. It sucks.

Reply 13

Prince Rhyus

15

I don't know whether to feel relieved or sad knowing that I'm not the only person who has struggled with this issue. When I had a gap year between college and university - this being the year before the internet really took off, pretty much every person who I had ever known during my childhood days disappeared.

When I got to university it was a struggle to connect with people and as it turned out the only people who I did connect with were either postgrads or European students. In the end we all went our separate ways after graduation.

The thing that I've learnt from the years since then is that shared experiences with people who you connect with - and experiences that have a degree of intensity help bring people together. At school, you don't have much of a choice of what sort of people you are with - they are those who you happen to be put with. Once you get beyond, you have much more control, but you have to allow yourself to be in control and allow yourself to take responsibility.

In terms of "reconnecting" with people, I don't have a surefire answer as this is still something I'm struggling with. But I have found that it is activities and experiences that bring people together. Things like sports, volunteering, political activism, adventure/activity holidays, things like that.

Reply 14

Psychos

OP

Ah its good to see feedback. It's reassuring to know others are at least feeling the same

I agree, it is a truely horrid feeling, and I'm agreeing with all these posts saying don't go home. I completely agree, although its not freshers week at my uni, Im a 2nd year student anyways, living in a house with 5 other people. Ideally I wouldnt go home, nor do i really intend to, but like i said just an event i wanted to attend with my family, plus its not difficult to get home, hence why half the people I live with go home around thursday in the week leaving uni accomo a pretty boring place.

I do have friends, to be honest I probably have more than I care to let on, but at the same time they arent very deep, like they all have their own social circles to fleet towards while just being friendly towards myself. I am trying to fix this, I've followed advice in other threads about joining societies and just generally trying to get out there but its just such a slow process and there are SO many dead ends, and each dead end makes that lil feeling grow a bit more. Its good though to see other peoples points of view, any advice still on how, just at least shake off the feeling, is all good.

Reply 15

sokissme

god, i feel exactly like that sometimes!!
i cant really help because i am not sure how to stop it... i usually just get on the phone with my friends or i just go to bed.
but you are not alone in feeling like this!!
hope you feel better soon! xx

Reply 16

Saffie

11

yeah, forget going home if you want to see anyone other than your family during term time.

uni-wise, you just have to ask people what they're up to and if you can join them or arrange things yourself. Like ask if people want to go and see a film or go to the pub. & Go to the union too- even if you go alone, i'm sure it'll be fine when you're there.